Monday, June 15, 2009

Things are easier the second time around

Having a baby the 2nd time around is SO much easier than the first time around. I'm not talking about pregnancy or labour, mind you. That was so much worse in many respects. Given that Nathan is alive, I have absolutely NO intention of EVER falling pregnant again, and if I do, I think I just might sign up for an elective caesar... either that or have myself committed for insanity.

But actually HAVING another one - well, that's proving easier (at this stage, at any rate). I still have to get the hang of this multi-directional pee thing, but otherwise it's actually OK. Since arriving home on Friday we've managed supper out at Oupa & Ouma's house, a family shopping trip, and I've taken both kids to Granny's house on my own. Apart from Friday night, I'm actually managing OK on the amount of sleep I'm getting. I know, I know, it's early days yet and things may change. What amazes me though is what a difference it makes when you know what to expect.

Like engorgement... (guys, you can skip this bit if it's too much information). With Nellie, I was expressing because she couldn't suck. I was using an industrial strength hospital pump. A word to the wise? Never use an industrial strength hospital pump if you've never breast fed before. Not good for your boobs, and not good for your sanity. With Zoe I was given tablets to prevent my milk coming in, which didn't work. I got cystitis, although I caught it early so it wasn't too sore. So this time around, I was ready. They say that preparing yourself mentally for any ordeal is the most important bit, that you can cope with anything if you know what you're up against. I was so ready though, I nearly missed it - the all four minutes of "hmm... my boobs feel really swollen, sore and hot". I kid you not - no pain, no nothing. I didn't get a chance to even put the cabbage leaves into the fridge!

And the feeding thing... this time around, although Nathan is definitely getting breast first, I'm not hassling about making sure he gets enough from the boob. If he's screaming hungry, and my nipples are too sore to bear another bout, he gets formula. (Of course, the real bonus of formula is that he sleeps for longer, so I get to sleep for longer too. Secrets of the trade, eh?) And sterilising??? As long as the stuff is clean I'm not too fussed. If I have time, I'll sterilise, but honestly - I was far too paranoid last time around. Of course, there's nothing I can do about the sore nipples this time around... just more Lansinoh than last time I guess, and knowing how important it is to get a good latch...

And the sleeping thing... First time around we were scolded for putting Nellie to sleep on her tummy because of the fear of SIDS - this despite the fact that she simply would not fall asleep on her back. Now we've been scolded for putting Nathan to sleep on his back because of the fear that if he were to vomit in his sleep he might choke. (Apparently, the wisdom of the moment says side sleeping is the best.) But whereas I fell apart last time for being a 'bad' mother, this time around I just smiled, nodded and then ignored everyone else's wisdom. Nathan can sleep on his tummy, back or side, I really don't mind - whatever is most appropriate for the moment and the situation. If he's sleeping, I'm happy. (This evening, for example, I got another 3 hours sleep in a row, and when I'm done here, I'm off back to bed. I think that's pretty good going for a preemie newborn.)

And the dressing thing... this time around (OK, yes, Nathan is about double Nellie's size, and that certainly helps!) I'm not overwhelmed by his small size. I don't feel like he's going to fall apart if I just touch him. Having dressed a child for the past 3.5 years, dressing another one is all the same old, same old.

And the nappy thing... I don't have this insatiable urge to change his nappy every time he has a feed (unless he's had a poo). Although I have an interest in the contents of his nappy, I'm not overly concerned. Colour and consistency of his poo, while very important to gauge his general health, are not the B-all and end-all of my conversations. (I recognise that may change.) And I'm not insistent on using a barrier cream. Not using one with Nellie in the later stages of nappyhood made no difference whatsoever to her, so I'm not fussed. If I remember, great. If not, fine.

And the crying thing... I already have a good idea of what might be wrong, because certain facial expressions are familiar to me. Knowing what might be wrong saves a lot of time and angst trying to figure it out! (And not just for me!)

And doing stuff with one hand... like letting him feed/ burp on one side while I express on the other side, or type blog posts, or eat my own food, or make tea, or do something else useful. It's amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it. I wouldn't have considered it last time around, but this time around there isn't time to hang around, and even if there were, Nellie would find a way to get rid of it.

We're about to make the swap back to cloth nappies though (been using disposable while he's been doing the merconium tar stuff), and that will be interesting. Never did cloth with Nellie at this age. We basically only started on cloth when she was about to start with solid poos, so I'll be interested to see how it works with a newborn.

But overall, having a second is a lot easier than having the first - at this point in time anyway.

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