One week to go

Yes, indeed. This time next week will be my first evening in hospital. On the one hand, I simply can't wait. On the other, I'm getting seriously nervous. All the "what-if" scenarios are starting to do more than just play through my mind. Crazy, I know.

I'm already sleep deprived (keep waking up between about 3.3am and 4.30am and then can't get back to sleep), but I can't wait to get my body back to myself (to some degree). Specifically, I can't wait to have my hips put back together. Today, shopping for some of the last few house things we need, I walked from one end of Canal Walk to the other. By the time I'd walked one way, I was nearly in tears and wanted to ask someone to call centre management to get me a wheelchair. Fortunately, there was a Mugg & Bean (thank God for Mugg & Bean) right there, so instead of humiliating myself, I took myself out for lunch. I was amazed by the number of diners out on their own. It almost made me want to go over to some of them and say, "Hi, let's not eat alone, let's have lunch together", but looking at some of their faces, I don't think it would have gone down too well.

Anyway, I managed to get just about everything on my list for today, which is great. Of course, I still have what feels like a gazillion things on my list for the week. Most of them I can't do by myself because I'm physically compromised. I'm looking forward to getting some independence back too. Of course, I recognise that it won't be instantaneous - it's taken months to get to this glorious state of unmaking, so I'm sure it will take at least two months to be remade, but I'm comforted by the fact that it can't get any worse.

Graeme has been an absolute star through all this. In the past week he has really stepped up to the plate. Despite having a really sore back, he has diligently drilled holes and put stuff up for me, lifted and carried and moved stuff for me, and all without complaint. I know this stuff doesn't bug him the way it bugs me, and of course I have the added complication of going through the nesting thing in a big way at the moment, so it must be very frustrating for him to be presented with lists of things that "absolutely have to be done right this minute otherwise I'm going to explode". He is such a hero!!

So, tomorrow's task? Get the garden sorted. Thank God I have a gardener. He doesn't know how hard I'm going to make him work tomorrow. Poor man. Also, get the kitchen sorted. (Thank God I have Priscilla to do that.) Also, get the books and bookcases sorted. (Thank God I can do that sitting down.) After that? Well, the things still on the list after that aren't urgent, so I think I might just take Wed off.... maybe.