Reap the whirlwind

Tonight Nellie was a little demon. First she threw herself on the floor having a tantrum about going to bath, then screaming so loudly and persistently in the bathroom that I had to smack her to stop her getting hysterical. (Thank God we have no neighbours on that side of the house or I'm sure they would have called the police... she hasn't screamed like that in ages.)

I hate having to smack her, but she really was being such a manipulative and petulant child. I felt awful for doing it. She cried all the way through the bath (although no longer screaming), so much so that I was worried she was going to make herself throw up. (Yes, she has perfected that little trick already.) However, after a looooooong cuddle she then turned into the perfect angel. When I said it was time to pack away her toys, there was no argument - she just got on and did it. When I said it was time to go to bed she whined for all of 1s, then just went to her room so we could pray.

I think the problem is mainly of our own making though. Trying to move house with a small child is hard at the best of times. Doing it when you're also pregnant is incredibly difficult. As a result, we've relaxed the boundaries, allowed too much TV, not spent enough quality time with her. All the things good parents should do we've failed to do in the past few weeks. Now we're reaping the whirlwind. Now she expects to eat in front of the TV. She expects to be able to watch TV whenever she likes, for as long as she likes. She expects to be able to call the shots. Combine that with the usual bed-time tiredness & traumas and you get a disaster waiting to explode.

Of course, this makes me really worried about the next few months. Nellie's been through a lot of change with the move. It's upset her, although she has rolled with the punches a lot more than I expected her to. She's started saying she doesn't want to go to nursery in the mornings and she's started crying again about going. She hasn't been like that since the end of last year!

Now though, when I'm at my most tired, I really need to have energy to be a good parent to her. Then, once the baby is born and I'm even more tired, I will have to deal with her sibling envy as well as trying to re-establish the boundaries we've lost over the past few weeks.

I know that millions of other parents have been through this and survived. I'm just not sure how they did it. How did they get through it without either murdering their kids or letting them become tyrants and spoilt brats? I have no doubt that we will survive this period. I just wish I knew how to tackle this issue in the correct manner - I wish there was a manual written specifically for our family to get us through this season.

Putting the myth of the perfect woman aside, my hope and prayer is that through this whirlwind time I can be the mother that Nellie needs, the wife that Graeme needs, the mother that this baby boy needs and not kill myself (metaphorically!!) or the dogs or Nellie or Graeme in the process.