Say what?!

Kids! Who really understands what goes on in their heads?

Take my tutor group, for example. I found out that some of the kids in the class have been cutting off the clips on other class mates' bags, making them utterly useless (since they can't be closed). Why? Well, no real reason. Some of them like to make chains out of the clips they cut off. Others like to try to sell the clips back to the person who's bag they were originally cut off of. When you try to explain to them that that's like someone stealing your TV and then trying to sell it back to you, they just don't see the connection.

Like, uh... DUH! That's a TV and this is just a clip, Miss. There's no similarity at all.

When you explain that not only is that vandalism (huh?), but that they will be expected to replace the bag entirely at their own cost, their response is... but why? I only cut off the clips! If I give them back can't they just, like, stick them back on or something?!?!

I am definitely of another generation. Not only would I never have considered doing something like that (my mother would have ... I don't know what - it would have been too terrible to contemplate ever doing something so ridiculous, that's for sure!) but if I'd been stupid enough to get caught, I would never have responded like that. I mean, anyone with two brain cells to rub together can see how ludicrous an activity it is.

Of course, the fact that the other kids are stupid enough to BUY BACK their clips... well! I can only hope they're doing it because they don't want to get into trouble with their parents ('how on earth could you let something like that happen to your stuff?') and are trying to make amends BEFORE they get into trouble.

Then again, kids are dumb enough to try drugs, to binge drink, to try to steal their parents' cars... maybe this is just the latest trick in the book. But really, if you're going to get into the lifestyle of being a petty criminal, at least do something intelligent, something that requires some brain cells, like becoming a hacker.

...speaking of which, we've had a virus on the server at work for the past week. It's been worse than being in the dark ages! Having no technology is incredibly annoying - particularly for a techno-geek like me. I can't teach without my Smartboard, or at least without a data projector and PowerPoint. But having access to the technology when it's chugging over at a pace so slow even snails could crawl faster... well, that's been indigestion & ulcer-causing. (I think I've gone through a bottle of Gaviscon in 3 days as a result.) I'd rather do without! (Fortunately, it's all fixed now, so next week should be better.)

But all this sloth-like behaviour from the computers has meant that I've had to get my news the old fashioned way - by getting up off my stool and wandering over to the deputy head's office and actually, like, TALKING to the man, in PERSON. That's been a shock to the system - not least because in my current state I try to do as little walking as possible. (I've had 2 days of excruciating pain during which a sloth would have beaten me in a race.) It's also been a shock as the deputy head is so seldom seen during the day - he's either in his office putting out fires, or trying to teach these blasted juniors to THINK. We all know it's a losing battle. This clip-cutting incident is all the evidence one needs.

I mean, really, we all know that a teenager's brain - no, let's be specific here. We all know that a teenage boy's brain is completely disconnected from the rest of his body. Rational thought is not something a teenage boy is capable of.

OMG!! I'm incubating one of those right now! Help, help! In a few years' time it's going to be MY idiot teenage son telling me he's in DT yet again for... I don't know - trying to set a girl's hair alight, or something equally stupid. HELP! I'm not cut out for dealing with other people's moronic children; how on EARTH am I going to cope with my own??????

Oh no, but wait - my son will be different. I mean, after all, he has me as his mother. Phew! OK then, we'll be alright. No child of mine would ever DARE do something so stupid, because he knows that I will skin him alive for displaying any, even vague, moronic tendencies. There will be no fools in my household - or at least, no living ones.

Right?

Well, I'll keep telling myself that. I'm sure that in a few years' time one of you will be loving enough to pass me the blindfold and earplugs so that I can continue to live in my delusional world of perfection. And I will love you all the more for it!