Wednesday, April 11, 2007

WABbing and TABbing

WAB was a term that someone came up with while I was at school, but I can't remember who. It stands for 'Work Avoidance Behaviour'. For me, it was weeding the lawn when I should have been studying for exams, or reading a book when I should have been doing homework.

Today I'm TABbing - Thinking Avoidance Behaviour - keeping busy so I don't spend too much time thinking. Since I have nothing to read (and the library is closed on Wednesdays - bad timing!), there's nothing on telly, Nellie is at Ashley's and Graeme is asleep, I've been web browsing. And I came across an interesting meme - it's a Google search in which you type in [your name] wants, or [your name] needs, etc, and then make a note of the first 10 lines that appear. So here're my ridiculously mindless ones....

Nicole needs:
  • a boob job (hmm... not sure I agree)
  • no food when she can shop till she drops (that would take me about 15 minutes at the moment)
  • a leg tanner (which I really do - I'm pastey white...)
  • a drink
  • sugar
  • help with her attention span
  • to stop staying up so late (how did they know?????)
  • some kissing lessons (?!)
  • protection (from...??)
  • a band! (I'm all in favour of this one!)

Nicole wants:

  • to be like Paris (I definitely don't!)
  • a dog (I definitely do! and a cat!)
  • government laywers out (of what?)
  • JLo's bum (hmm... possibly)
  • kids (yes please!)
  • to look her best at her funeral (morbid!)
  • our readers to know that what Miss America does day to day is not all glitz and glamour (smile and nod, just smile and nod)
  • people to know they have not been brainwashed by their parents
  • a hero to idolise
  • to do more romantic things

Nicole can:

  • help (with what?)
  • grieve in peace
  • speak with living animals as well as beloved pets who have passed into spirit (ahh, no, I don't think so...)
  • almost touch the money
  • do Chubby Bunny (I can, but I'm not going to post any photos to prove it!)
  • also speak a little German (only a very little!!)
  • do it all with apparent ease, from singing to dancing to acting (Well, I don't know about the acting, but I can sing and dance)
  • help you clear your clutter, transform your space, and get organized, for good (but only if I'm in the mood)
  • certainly excel in both fields, whether making conversation or listening (someone out there knows me too well!)
  • have a key role in this learning process by helping to provide the most up to date information about site characterisation approaches (I wish I knew what this meant!)

Nicole can't:

  • get over how hot Orlando's been looking recently (hmm... no comment)
  • make this stuff up (oh, watch me!)
  • get over it
  • believe it
  • even name the Vice President or Speaker of the House (heck! I've been out of the country for 7 years... I'm lucky I can still name the president!!)
  • be moved to the Bahamas
  • quite pick out a bikini that actually fits (nothing quite covers the stretch marks...)
  • quit eating (all too true where chocolate is concerned, I'm afraid...)
  • stand up, but looks great in 00 pants [trousers, if you're British]
  • find you anymore (what an odd song title!)

So, some mindless fun for those who need the distraction... now I'm off in search of some more chocolate and a nice mug of tea, and maybe some of Mommy's rusks, and Lizzie's brownines, and then I suppose I'd better have some fruit, and then maybe I'd better finish off the ....

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