1 month already...

I can't believe that 4 weeks ago today we found out Zoe's heart had stopped. I can't believe that 4 weeks have slipped past. I can't remember most of it - there's just this haze of days passing and an endless supply of tears. (While the body is around 80% water, nothing brings it home like endless crying...)

While the pain isn't as constant, it's still just as intense. The wonderful people on the SANDS forum say the pain doesn't ever really go away, it just gets easier to manage. One of them posted this poem - I don't know where it comes from.

I was so excited when I woke up today
I heard my Mummy was coming to play
I washed my wings and my halo too
Cos that's what Mummy likes me to do

I went to the place where I knew she'd be
It's where she comes to visit me
She comes for comfort in her despair
Oh Mummy, can't you feel me touching your hair?

I'm by your side all through the night
I never let you out of my sight
I was your baby for only a day
But soon we can be together and play

You know we'll never be apart
You'll never let me leave your heart
Mummy I'm not really in the ground,
lift up your head and look around

The clouds, the birds, the raindrops too
These gifts of life were given to you
Don't cry for me Mummy, I know you're here
Please let me wipe away that tear.

I was sent to you from up above
And you showed me the ultimate love
Instead of giving me all of your years
You freely gave me all of your tears

Remember your relatives, the ones who have died?
They brought me here, I'm by their side
They watch over me and help me to see
Just how much you really love me

So don't be unhappy when you come visit me
I'm the angel above you, up in the tree
And when you leave, you'll never be through
You'll always be my Mummy
And I'll always love you....