I know I'm crazy. On returning home to SA in 2007 I started two new jobs (he second one was a promotion post), started a new business, started a support group, did a 6 month course, moved house, and last year - I fell pregnant.
The support group is ticking along slowly. The second new job is going fantastically well - I LOVE my job! I'm moving house again in a short while. The pregnancy is going well (or as well as can be expected). So that just leaves the business. This is the one that seems to be falling off the list. There just is not the time to devote to it. It needs marketing, and I don't have the time or money to do what is necessary.
As I've been thinking about how crazy I was to do all this stuff, I've been thinking that maybe the thing that has to go is the business. I originally started it because I didn't want to stay in teaching. Now I'm in such a great job, I want to stay in teaching for the foreseeable future, so the need for the business has fallen away. While I'm reluctant to chalk it up to a VERY expensive mistake, I've been thinking that maybe that's what I need to do.
So, last weekend, I prayed and told God that I've realised the folly of my ways, and I'm going to give up the business.
And this week I've had 3 different people contact me regarding it. Two want to come for a nappucino, and one has placed a huge order.
I really don't know what to make of it. Is that God saying that I shouldn't give up on it, but should let it tick over quietly? Or is that just coincidence - the inevitable small fry one gets from having a website?
When I did the business course, they talked about a time (or several times) where you are faced with the decision about whether to continue with your venture, or pull out. I had one of those moments while I was on the course. I'm having another one now. I chatted to G about it, and we've decided that I will use my maternity leave time to try and do some marketing. Then, early in 2010, we will re-evaluate and see where we're at. Now is one of those times when I really wish God would do some sign-writing in the sky... Should I continue, or not? I just wish I knew for sure which one was the right option - not just for me, but for my family too.
Showing posts with label business. Show all posts
Showing posts with label business. Show all posts
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Friday, August 29, 2008
Ethics in business - have your say
I really don't know what to write tonight. For the first time in ages, I feel like I have so much to say, but can't say any of it. This week has been incredibly difficult for me on a personal, emotional level. I've been struggling with an ethical issue and it's left me feeling adrift. I've been struggling to concentrate. Worse, I've been struggling to sleep. As a result, I don't feel I've been very productive this week (although, actually, I have), and I certainly don't feel I've spent enough quality time with either G or J.
This story starts a little while ago. When I set up LL I initially started just by offering advice to pregnant women (well - to anyone interested, but it's only been pregnant women who have asked, thus far!) on nappies: the different types, the pro's and con's of each dependent on their lifestyle, where to buy them, what they cost, etc. Now that I have my own brand, I've tried really hard to continue to offer unbiased advice.
To an extent, it's easy to do - e.g. an all-in-one that isn't a pocket nappy dries very slowly, so is not suitable in Cape Town winters, or humid Durban, but will dry in a jiffy in Jo'burg or the interior (as long as you remember to bring it in before the temp drops).... or that bamboo and hemp give you a much slimmer look because they are much more absorbent so you need less fabric (so they are really good for mothers who despise the bulky look of cloth and love the slim look of disposables), but that also means they take longer to dry - which may be an issue in Cape Town in winter (etc, etc).... or that the birth-to-potty nappy leaks more with newborns than a two-part system because you can't get a really good fit, but is cheaper to buy since you don't have to buy a set of each of two or three different sizes... or which nappies are best if you live in an area with those horrible flies that lay their eggs in your clothes so that you have to iron everything. Etc, etc, etc. For each type, I try to point out good things and bad things, and link it to the client's lifestyle, but I always offer them at least 2 options (usually 3) and then leave the final decision up to them.
However, many of my clients have already done their homework, and they ask me specific questions like how one particular brand compares to another. This is where it becomes difficult, because now that I have my own brand, there is the temptation to say that mine is the best. I've been really good so far though, and have managed to avoid that temptation. But it struck me the other day that I really don't know enough about the other local brands to be able to answer questions authoritatively.
So I decided to do something about that. I started by contacting another company explaining what I do, and that I'd like to purchase some of their products to try on Nellie, so that I could talk about their product with some authority when clients ask me specifically about them. Big mistake number 1! I've not only been threatened with legal action for talking about their product, but have been warned that if I say anything about them on my website they will sue, and I've been told that I have been harassing this person's family and that if I don't stop they will lay a charge against me. I've also been accused of saturating the market. (As if! This person needs to do their market research!... sorry, I don't want to be bitchy. I've been keeping tight rein on my thoughts and emotions all week, but I need to vent somewhere.)
I don't even know where to begin on this one. I take all criticism personally. I also don't like people thinking false things, or badly, about me. That's just me. I understand that this person thinks I'm a threat - I also sell nappies. I understand that this person is worried I will tell clients that their product is rubbish and try to direct all sales to my own products. I get that. I think that's a legitimate fear.
My second mistake was that I responded to the email. I tried to explain, as best I could, that I had pointed several people to their products, rather than my own, because I genuinely believed their product was better for these particular clients, and that I hoped this would prove to them that I am an ethical person. I also pointed out that I could have got a friend to pose as a customer and buy the stock, or I could have bought the stock from a shop. Either way, they would never have known. The fact that I approached them directly should demonstrate that I am an ethical person and that I mean them no harm and that I do not wish to be their enemy. Sadly, they don't see it that way at all. According this person I am not only unethical, but underhanded, devious and bitter that I didn't get onto the market first.
I don't do harassment. Apart from this person's spouse, I don't know anyone else in their family. While it's possible that they've got me confused with someone else, I doubt it. So I've spent several hours and days perplexed by this and racking my brains to try and figure out who I might be harassing. Since the only people I contact (in a business capacity) on a regular basis are my suppliers - who are more than happy to do business with me - I honestly don't have a clue what this person is talking about.
So this has been a miserable week for me. I can't seem to let go off this, because I really, honestly and truly believe the things this person has said are wrong, false and untrue. I am outraged and my sense of fair play has been affronted. I've been maligned and slandered, and I want to hear them acknowledge it, and apologise. That isn't going to happen though, so it seems I am left with someone who believes me to be their enemy. And I hate that. I don't want to be anyone's enemy.
But I know that if I were to call this person, or go to see them, it would be construed as harassment, which would only serve to entrench the wrong views this person already has of me.
This person is, as far as I know, also a Christian. This kind of ... grievance... shouldn't exist between siblings-in-Christ. It's just wrong. Since I'm not perfect, I can accept that I'm not 100% in the right here, but I can't see where I'm in the wrong. I can't see anything I've done that has been unethical, or underhanded, and I definitely can't see how I'm accused of harassment!
I've given my word that my intentions are not to harm this person or their business in any way. But clearly my word isn't good enough.
[As an aside, they also made a comment that I'm not a nappy expert/ authority, and so have no right to make comparisons or give advice. I didn't ask this of them in my reply, because I thought it would be unhelpful, but I'm dying to know what this person would consider a nappy expert! Would it be someone with experience of lots of different brands? Or would it be someone who has extensive knowledge of the different fabric types? Or manufacturing experience? Because I have all of those. Or is there some sort of nappy qualification that one can get that this person would expect me to have? What skills or experience would you expect a nappy expert to have?]
Should I just try to let this go - and if so, how do I do that? Should I try to resolve this with this person - and if so, how do I do that? Is this 'merely' a spiritual issue that needs to be resolved in the heavenlies (ie a specific attack of Satan)? Am I in the wrong here - should I stop offering advice and just sell nappies? WHAT DO I DO???????
This story starts a little while ago. When I set up LL I initially started just by offering advice to pregnant women (well - to anyone interested, but it's only been pregnant women who have asked, thus far!) on nappies: the different types, the pro's and con's of each dependent on their lifestyle, where to buy them, what they cost, etc. Now that I have my own brand, I've tried really hard to continue to offer unbiased advice.
To an extent, it's easy to do - e.g. an all-in-one that isn't a pocket nappy dries very slowly, so is not suitable in Cape Town winters, or humid Durban, but will dry in a jiffy in Jo'burg or the interior (as long as you remember to bring it in before the temp drops).... or that bamboo and hemp give you a much slimmer look because they are much more absorbent so you need less fabric (so they are really good for mothers who despise the bulky look of cloth and love the slim look of disposables), but that also means they take longer to dry - which may be an issue in Cape Town in winter (etc, etc).... or that the birth-to-potty nappy leaks more with newborns than a two-part system because you can't get a really good fit, but is cheaper to buy since you don't have to buy a set of each of two or three different sizes... or which nappies are best if you live in an area with those horrible flies that lay their eggs in your clothes so that you have to iron everything. Etc, etc, etc. For each type, I try to point out good things and bad things, and link it to the client's lifestyle, but I always offer them at least 2 options (usually 3) and then leave the final decision up to them.
However, many of my clients have already done their homework, and they ask me specific questions like how one particular brand compares to another. This is where it becomes difficult, because now that I have my own brand, there is the temptation to say that mine is the best. I've been really good so far though, and have managed to avoid that temptation. But it struck me the other day that I really don't know enough about the other local brands to be able to answer questions authoritatively.
So I decided to do something about that. I started by contacting another company explaining what I do, and that I'd like to purchase some of their products to try on Nellie, so that I could talk about their product with some authority when clients ask me specifically about them. Big mistake number 1! I've not only been threatened with legal action for talking about their product, but have been warned that if I say anything about them on my website they will sue, and I've been told that I have been harassing this person's family and that if I don't stop they will lay a charge against me. I've also been accused of saturating the market. (As if! This person needs to do their market research!... sorry, I don't want to be bitchy. I've been keeping tight rein on my thoughts and emotions all week, but I need to vent somewhere.)
I don't even know where to begin on this one. I take all criticism personally. I also don't like people thinking false things, or badly, about me. That's just me. I understand that this person thinks I'm a threat - I also sell nappies. I understand that this person is worried I will tell clients that their product is rubbish and try to direct all sales to my own products. I get that. I think that's a legitimate fear.
My second mistake was that I responded to the email. I tried to explain, as best I could, that I had pointed several people to their products, rather than my own, because I genuinely believed their product was better for these particular clients, and that I hoped this would prove to them that I am an ethical person. I also pointed out that I could have got a friend to pose as a customer and buy the stock, or I could have bought the stock from a shop. Either way, they would never have known. The fact that I approached them directly should demonstrate that I am an ethical person and that I mean them no harm and that I do not wish to be their enemy. Sadly, they don't see it that way at all. According this person I am not only unethical, but underhanded, devious and bitter that I didn't get onto the market first.
I don't do harassment. Apart from this person's spouse, I don't know anyone else in their family. While it's possible that they've got me confused with someone else, I doubt it. So I've spent several hours and days perplexed by this and racking my brains to try and figure out who I might be harassing. Since the only people I contact (in a business capacity) on a regular basis are my suppliers - who are more than happy to do business with me - I honestly don't have a clue what this person is talking about.
So this has been a miserable week for me. I can't seem to let go off this, because I really, honestly and truly believe the things this person has said are wrong, false and untrue. I am outraged and my sense of fair play has been affronted. I've been maligned and slandered, and I want to hear them acknowledge it, and apologise. That isn't going to happen though, so it seems I am left with someone who believes me to be their enemy. And I hate that. I don't want to be anyone's enemy.
But I know that if I were to call this person, or go to see them, it would be construed as harassment, which would only serve to entrench the wrong views this person already has of me.
This person is, as far as I know, also a Christian. This kind of ... grievance... shouldn't exist between siblings-in-Christ. It's just wrong. Since I'm not perfect, I can accept that I'm not 100% in the right here, but I can't see where I'm in the wrong. I can't see anything I've done that has been unethical, or underhanded, and I definitely can't see how I'm accused of harassment!
I've given my word that my intentions are not to harm this person or their business in any way. But clearly my word isn't good enough.
[As an aside, they also made a comment that I'm not a nappy expert/ authority, and so have no right to make comparisons or give advice. I didn't ask this of them in my reply, because I thought it would be unhelpful, but I'm dying to know what this person would consider a nappy expert! Would it be someone with experience of lots of different brands? Or would it be someone who has extensive knowledge of the different fabric types? Or manufacturing experience? Because I have all of those. Or is there some sort of nappy qualification that one can get that this person would expect me to have? What skills or experience would you expect a nappy expert to have?]
Should I just try to let this go - and if so, how do I do that? Should I try to resolve this with this person - and if so, how do I do that? Is this 'merely' a spiritual issue that needs to be resolved in the heavenlies (ie a specific attack of Satan)? Am I in the wrong here - should I stop offering advice and just sell nappies? WHAT DO I DO???????
Monday, July 28, 2008
Baba Indaba
We survived!!
More than that, we survived despite some last minute disasters... which include the fact that this week I will be revamping the patterns, because we discovered a few serious design flaws! Nothing like a few hundred demos to show you the weaknesses in a product.
But we had a great show, and handed out roughly 340 brochures!! Most of those were to couples, or couples plus grandparents. Of those, I figure we spoke to about 300 couples and gave them a demo, answered questions, etc. So... I think we can safely say that we have been officially launched! If even 10% of those turn into real customers, then I will be very happy.
I have to say that I could not have done this without the incredible support of my darling husband, who came along and took turns at handling customers, and my wonderful parents and in-laws, who babysat Nellie for us all weekend. I also need to thank all the staff and children at Nellie's nursery for their hard work in creating my backdrop... (Nellie's footprints are the leaves on the tree.)
We even had our first sale (despite me trying to discourage it because of the design flaws - which I didn't want to mention at the time). This bodes very well for the future.
Thanks to those who sent sms/ text messages of encouragement and to those who came along to the show to support us. Great to see you there!
I was surprised to discover that two other Old Girls from my matric year were also at the show - in the same area as I was, so we spent a lot of time catching up and nattering. One of the things we were chatting about was opening a baby boutique together, because we're all offering different products, but have no actual shop.... which is the question everyone was asking us (Where are you based? Where can we come to see the products? Where can we buy this stuff?) and we had to keep saying: only online. So that's another exciting step to be thinking about in the near future.
But for now I am shattered, exhausted, done in. My voice is returning, but my throat is still very swollen and sore. Lots of rest today, if I can get my mind to stop whirling with ideas for new products and solutions to existing problems!
More than that, we survived despite some last minute disasters... which include the fact that this week I will be revamping the patterns, because we discovered a few serious design flaws! Nothing like a few hundred demos to show you the weaknesses in a product.
But we had a great show, and handed out roughly 340 brochures!! Most of those were to couples, or couples plus grandparents. Of those, I figure we spoke to about 300 couples and gave them a demo, answered questions, etc. So... I think we can safely say that we have been officially launched! If even 10% of those turn into real customers, then I will be very happy.
I have to say that I could not have done this without the incredible support of my darling husband, who came along and took turns at handling customers, and my wonderful parents and in-laws, who babysat Nellie for us all weekend. I also need to thank all the staff and children at Nellie's nursery for their hard work in creating my backdrop... (Nellie's footprints are the leaves on the tree.)
We even had our first sale (despite me trying to discourage it because of the design flaws - which I didn't want to mention at the time). This bodes very well for the future.Thanks to those who sent sms/ text messages of encouragement and to those who came along to the show to support us. Great to see you there!
I was surprised to discover that two other Old Girls from my matric year were also at the show - in the same area as I was, so we spent a lot of time catching up and nattering. One of the things we were chatting about was opening a baby boutique together, because we're all offering different products, but have no actual shop.... which is the question everyone was asking us (Where are you based? Where can we come to see the products? Where can we buy this stuff?) and we had to keep saying: only online. So that's another exciting step to be thinking about in the near future.
But for now I am shattered, exhausted, done in. My voice is returning, but my throat is still very swollen and sore. Lots of rest today, if I can get my mind to stop whirling with ideas for new products and solutions to existing problems!
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Famous nobodies
I personally know Tom Jones. I also know his wife and kids. We went to church together for many years. He's a great guy, but he can't really sing. He lives in London, but isn't Welsh. Yup - he's not THE Tom Jones. He's an ordinary bloke who just happens to have the same name as the famous singer.
A local shopping centre in London has decided to use this fact to start a unique advertising campaign. They interview people with the same name as famous people, and then link them to the shopping centre. You can see the viral campaign on YouTube.
Tom is ordinary shopper No 1 (how cool is it to be No 1?). They've also got Robbie Williams and Julia Roberts, amongst a host of others. The interviews are pretty arb (although they are funny in parts), but I think the idea is really innovative and quirky. It's definitely worth having a look at one or two.
A local shopping centre in London has decided to use this fact to start a unique advertising campaign. They interview people with the same name as famous people, and then link them to the shopping centre. You can see the viral campaign on YouTube.
Tom is ordinary shopper No 1 (how cool is it to be No 1?). They've also got Robbie Williams and Julia Roberts, amongst a host of others. The interviews are pretty arb (although they are funny in parts), but I think the idea is really innovative and quirky. It's definitely worth having a look at one or two.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Sigh!
Last days... there is always something nostalgic about last days, even when one is pleased to be moving on.
Today was my last official work day at my current school, but it's been a slow wind-down as I had little to do. However, I've already started doing work for the new school. I have several units of work to prepare, and my lab is in DIRE need of a clear out. I doubt my predecessor, nor hers, has done a proper spring clean, so we're talking about more than a decade's worth of accumulated junk... joy. Not. Sigh!
I had my first proper exit interview today. Previous schools have done something on a more informal basis, which I doubt had any effect. I hope today's interview has an impact. By the end of the interview, I was surprised by how much I've picked up about the running of the school in just 6 months - things that, it would appear, the senior management are not aware of; things that seriously need to change. (That is not to imply that the school is poorly run, or that I am glad to see the back of it - merely that no institution is perfect and there are always things that can be improved upon.)
I am sad to leave. Apart from a handful of horrid boys in my register class, I really liked the boys, and I really loved the staff. I made some good friends in my short time there, and I will miss them next year - one in particular. Since I was a young girl I always wished for a sister. I love my brothers dearly, but I always wanted a sister. I think I may have found her in the person of Paola - the most dear, wonderful, amazing, inspiring woman. I will miss her tremendously.
But in the midst of all this work related stuff, life has been mad. My birthday passed in a quiet fashion with a handful of friends popping over for drinks (which was actually quite raucous at one point). Nellie's birthday, however, spanned several events. Firstly there was the family tea with Graeme's family (which was also a celebration of my birthday), then the birthday tea at nursery with her classmates, then there was the dinner with the grandparents, and finally the party with the cousins and extended family. Sjoe! Marathon. She's still singing happy birthday to herself, so I think she's got the idea that she has a birthday month, not just a birthday week, or birthday! Hmm... shall have to work on this concept for my birthday....
We've also had major stress about her eating habits at home (or lack thereof), only to realise that all toddlers go through something like this, and that since she's grown 2.5cm in 3 months, we're doing something right. So - deep breath - I think we can relax a bit on this issue and stop beating ourselves up about it.
And so one chapter closes and another begins. The Christmas Mania. God knows how we're going to manage this every year. The birthday madness followed immediately by the Christmas madness. I think my brother has the right idea - buy a farm and disappear to it for the entire holidays. This year was going to be more stressful, I thought, but it's actually working out ok (so far!), which is saying something given that there are 3 families to accommodate (my folks are both remarried), plus it's Graeme's birthday on Christmas Eve, plus both our mothers have their birthdays around New Year (one on the 30th, one on the 1st), plus the various in-laws don't seem to get on with each other very well, plus it's our first Christmas at home in YEARS, with the first grandchild being in attendance. So - only mildly stressful.
But surprise, surprise - I actually think it's all going to work out ok. Graeme's doing a birthday tea for his family on the 23rd, his family are coming to us on Christmas day, one set of my parents aren't doing Christmas this year - they're joining my brother on the farm - so we'll see the other lot on Christmas Eve (and celebrate G's birthday with them then). Sjoe! That was easily handled, I thought. If only everything in life was that simple.
And things for next year are already looking more complicated. It seems that news of my business is already spreading - I'm not even fully into production yet, and I'm already getting queries about stocking my stuff in baby boutiques in other provinces!!! I'm thrilled, but it has rather upped the ante. So, I've taken the plunge and I've booked a stand at the Baba Indaba baby show in Cape Town in July 2008. It's costing me an arm and a leg, but I think the exposure will be good. Plus, I think having a deadline to work towards will help me a lot. (But it does mean that I will not be getting 6 weeks of holiday this summer, or 3 weeks over Easter next year!)
Today was my last official work day at my current school, but it's been a slow wind-down as I had little to do. However, I've already started doing work for the new school. I have several units of work to prepare, and my lab is in DIRE need of a clear out. I doubt my predecessor, nor hers, has done a proper spring clean, so we're talking about more than a decade's worth of accumulated junk... joy. Not. Sigh!
I had my first proper exit interview today. Previous schools have done something on a more informal basis, which I doubt had any effect. I hope today's interview has an impact. By the end of the interview, I was surprised by how much I've picked up about the running of the school in just 6 months - things that, it would appear, the senior management are not aware of; things that seriously need to change. (That is not to imply that the school is poorly run, or that I am glad to see the back of it - merely that no institution is perfect and there are always things that can be improved upon.)
I am sad to leave. Apart from a handful of horrid boys in my register class, I really liked the boys, and I really loved the staff. I made some good friends in my short time there, and I will miss them next year - one in particular. Since I was a young girl I always wished for a sister. I love my brothers dearly, but I always wanted a sister. I think I may have found her in the person of Paola - the most dear, wonderful, amazing, inspiring woman. I will miss her tremendously.
But in the midst of all this work related stuff, life has been mad. My birthday passed in a quiet fashion with a handful of friends popping over for drinks (which was actually quite raucous at one point). Nellie's birthday, however, spanned several events. Firstly there was the family tea with Graeme's family (which was also a celebration of my birthday), then the birthday tea at nursery with her classmates, then there was the dinner with the grandparents, and finally the party with the cousins and extended family. Sjoe! Marathon. She's still singing happy birthday to herself, so I think she's got the idea that she has a birthday month, not just a birthday week, or birthday! Hmm... shall have to work on this concept for my birthday....
We've also had major stress about her eating habits at home (or lack thereof), only to realise that all toddlers go through something like this, and that since she's grown 2.5cm in 3 months, we're doing something right. So - deep breath - I think we can relax a bit on this issue and stop beating ourselves up about it.
And so one chapter closes and another begins. The Christmas Mania. God knows how we're going to manage this every year. The birthday madness followed immediately by the Christmas madness. I think my brother has the right idea - buy a farm and disappear to it for the entire holidays. This year was going to be more stressful, I thought, but it's actually working out ok (so far!), which is saying something given that there are 3 families to accommodate (my folks are both remarried), plus it's Graeme's birthday on Christmas Eve, plus both our mothers have their birthdays around New Year (one on the 30th, one on the 1st), plus the various in-laws don't seem to get on with each other very well, plus it's our first Christmas at home in YEARS, with the first grandchild being in attendance. So - only mildly stressful.
But surprise, surprise - I actually think it's all going to work out ok. Graeme's doing a birthday tea for his family on the 23rd, his family are coming to us on Christmas day, one set of my parents aren't doing Christmas this year - they're joining my brother on the farm - so we'll see the other lot on Christmas Eve (and celebrate G's birthday with them then). Sjoe! That was easily handled, I thought. If only everything in life was that simple.
And things for next year are already looking more complicated. It seems that news of my business is already spreading - I'm not even fully into production yet, and I'm already getting queries about stocking my stuff in baby boutiques in other provinces!!! I'm thrilled, but it has rather upped the ante. So, I've taken the plunge and I've booked a stand at the Baba Indaba baby show in Cape Town in July 2008. It's costing me an arm and a leg, but I think the exposure will be good. Plus, I think having a deadline to work towards will help me a lot. (But it does mean that I will not be getting 6 weeks of holiday this summer, or 3 weeks over Easter next year!)
Friday, July 13, 2007
Online...
Well, my business website is finally up and running! Hooray! It doesn't have the shop but yet, but everything else is there. One hurdle down, only a few 1000 to go. While I encourage you to go and have a look, please be aware that it is still only the final draft. I am doing final testing and comments from my amazing testing helpers, will then make final changes, and then will hopefully have a lovely website! The address is www.lovelylaitjies.co.za. Enjoy browsing!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Hectic week
For those who haven't yet subscribed to the blog and so have to check back frequently to see whether I've updated.... I'm really sorry that blogging seems to be taking a back seat. Packing and setting up the business while trying to entertain Nellie is proving time consuming.
Father's day... we had a fabulous day. We went down to Graeme's cousin/ aunt, where his folks are staying. Despite Nellie not sleeping all day (bar 30 minutes and then another 45 mins crying about sleep), we had a lovely day. She played in the fountain and we sat in the sun, had a braai, talked, laughed and generally enjoyed ourselves. It was a really lovely day.
So - Monday I had Nellie at home with me because Ashley, her childminder, got the vomiting bug. She had my sympathies - it was a nasty bug!! So on Tuesday I decided to take Nellie out. We went to lunch at Graeme's brother-in-law's sister's husband's new restaurant (did you follow that family link??) - called org-e (here's a review), in Covent Garden. It was great - although there were one or two hiccups in our service. The food was really good.
Anyway, after that I took Nellie to see the horses on guard at Horse Guards, and then to St. James' park to the playground there. While we were there, the marching band at the Guard Museum were practicing, so we went across to watch them. When they went on a break, we went back to the playground. As soon as they started playing again, Nellie made the sign for music. It was so cute!
Today has been spent doing moving stuff. I cleared out my closets and sorted through our paperwork (although I still have 2 boxes to go through - school stuff and business stuff). I can't believe how long it took me... but at least it's done. I gave 2 large bags of clothes to the Salvation Army at the end of our road, and I have 1 large bag of paper to be recycled, plus a shopping bag's worth to be shredded, and a whole bunch of files to get rid of.
In between all of this, in the evenings I've been working on the business website and dealing with queries from women who read my article in Urban Mamas (an e-zine for South African women focusing on pregnancy and babies), in which I mention that I'm starting up in July. It's been great exposure, and a real incentive to get the business up and running and SELLING. It's also shown me that there is a real market for home grown products, so I also need to focus on getting my own design manufactured..... aahhhh! So much to do. So little time.
I'm not sure how it will all work now that I've got this temp. job teaching. But I'm sure it will. The other good work news is that Graeme most probably has some temporary part-time work for his current job, working online to help support the new HoD! How cool is that?!?! Details still have to be finalised, but in theory it's all happening. God is so good!!
Oh yes, and of course, I've also been spending time on my latest hobby.... Facebook. Very addictive... very, very addictive.
The down side of all this activity is that I haven't really had time to grieve Zoe. And I feel guilty about that. I feel like I shouldn't be able to be getting on with my life this well without her. And yet I am. 3 months hardly seems like enough time to 'get over' something like this... yet a lot of the time I feel very blessed and happy. So I'm a bit mixed up about it all.
I do miss her, and I think about her a lot - mostly I think about what might have been... what she'd be doing now... how big she'd be... how Nellie would be relating to her... what sort of routine we'd have settled into as a family.... I guess that, if I'm honest, I'm allowing these other activities to creep in to keep the pain at bay. Last night G and I went to the pub for a drink with our growth group (after doing some other stuff) and when we were the last ones left, we started talking about Zoe. It didn't take long for the tears to start. So I know the pain is still there. Maybe it always will be. Maybe this is just how life will be from now on.
Several friends who started reading the blog around the time of Zoe's death have recently commented to me that I should write a book because they think I write so well. I've been thinking about writing one for a long time now - about the loss of a child in a particular. Maybe this is the push I need to start thinking about it seriously. (Though it will have to wait a year or so, I think, with the number of other 'new' things on the go at the moment.) Maybe this is something else I can do in Zoe's memory.
I got in touch with an ex-boyfriend from WAY back when, through Facebook, whom I'd lost contact with. Turns out he and his wife are 34 weeks pregnant with their 2nd. I told him about losing Zoe at 37 weeks before I knew that. Gave him a bit of a scare I think. Part of me regrets opening my mouth, part of me is glad because I wish someone had made me realise how precious every moment of a pregnancy is and how much each moment should be treasured because you never know when it will be taken from you. I'm really not sure what to expect though, in terms of telling people back home. Many people, whom I would classify as acquaintances, don't know about Zoe. I really don't know how I'm going to broach the subject, because I want them to know about her... Sorry, I know I've said all this before. My brain is going round in circles, trying to find a solution. I'll stop rambling now.
Only 16 more sleeps till we fly!
PS. If you like my blog, why not sign up for Blogger Awards and nominate me. It's free and it's a cool way to see what's hot in the blogosphere. http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com.
Father's day... we had a fabulous day. We went down to Graeme's cousin/ aunt, where his folks are staying. Despite Nellie not sleeping all day (bar 30 minutes and then another 45 mins crying about sleep), we had a lovely day. She played in the fountain and we sat in the sun, had a braai, talked, laughed and generally enjoyed ourselves. It was a really lovely day.
So - Monday I had Nellie at home with me because Ashley, her childminder, got the vomiting bug. She had my sympathies - it was a nasty bug!! So on Tuesday I decided to take Nellie out. We went to lunch at Graeme's brother-in-law's sister's husband's new restaurant (did you follow that family link??) - called org-e (here's a review), in Covent Garden. It was great - although there were one or two hiccups in our service. The food was really good.
Anyway, after that I took Nellie to see the horses on guard at Horse Guards, and then to St. James' park to the playground there. While we were there, the marching band at the Guard Museum were practicing, so we went across to watch them. When they went on a break, we went back to the playground. As soon as they started playing again, Nellie made the sign for music. It was so cute!
Today has been spent doing moving stuff. I cleared out my closets and sorted through our paperwork (although I still have 2 boxes to go through - school stuff and business stuff). I can't believe how long it took me... but at least it's done. I gave 2 large bags of clothes to the Salvation Army at the end of our road, and I have 1 large bag of paper to be recycled, plus a shopping bag's worth to be shredded, and a whole bunch of files to get rid of.
In between all of this, in the evenings I've been working on the business website and dealing with queries from women who read my article in Urban Mamas (an e-zine for South African women focusing on pregnancy and babies), in which I mention that I'm starting up in July. It's been great exposure, and a real incentive to get the business up and running and SELLING. It's also shown me that there is a real market for home grown products, so I also need to focus on getting my own design manufactured..... aahhhh! So much to do. So little time.
I'm not sure how it will all work now that I've got this temp. job teaching. But I'm sure it will. The other good work news is that Graeme most probably has some temporary part-time work for his current job, working online to help support the new HoD! How cool is that?!?! Details still have to be finalised, but in theory it's all happening. God is so good!!
Oh yes, and of course, I've also been spending time on my latest hobby.... Facebook. Very addictive... very, very addictive.
The down side of all this activity is that I haven't really had time to grieve Zoe. And I feel guilty about that. I feel like I shouldn't be able to be getting on with my life this well without her. And yet I am. 3 months hardly seems like enough time to 'get over' something like this... yet a lot of the time I feel very blessed and happy. So I'm a bit mixed up about it all.
I do miss her, and I think about her a lot - mostly I think about what might have been... what she'd be doing now... how big she'd be... how Nellie would be relating to her... what sort of routine we'd have settled into as a family.... I guess that, if I'm honest, I'm allowing these other activities to creep in to keep the pain at bay. Last night G and I went to the pub for a drink with our growth group (after doing some other stuff) and when we were the last ones left, we started talking about Zoe. It didn't take long for the tears to start. So I know the pain is still there. Maybe it always will be. Maybe this is just how life will be from now on.
Several friends who started reading the blog around the time of Zoe's death have recently commented to me that I should write a book because they think I write so well. I've been thinking about writing one for a long time now - about the loss of a child in a particular. Maybe this is the push I need to start thinking about it seriously. (Though it will have to wait a year or so, I think, with the number of other 'new' things on the go at the moment.) Maybe this is something else I can do in Zoe's memory.
I got in touch with an ex-boyfriend from WAY back when, through Facebook, whom I'd lost contact with. Turns out he and his wife are 34 weeks pregnant with their 2nd. I told him about losing Zoe at 37 weeks before I knew that. Gave him a bit of a scare I think. Part of me regrets opening my mouth, part of me is glad because I wish someone had made me realise how precious every moment of a pregnancy is and how much each moment should be treasured because you never know when it will be taken from you. I'm really not sure what to expect though, in terms of telling people back home. Many people, whom I would classify as acquaintances, don't know about Zoe. I really don't know how I'm going to broach the subject, because I want them to know about her... Sorry, I know I've said all this before. My brain is going round in circles, trying to find a solution. I'll stop rambling now.
Only 16 more sleeps till we fly!
PS. If you like my blog, why not sign up for Blogger Awards and nominate me. It's free and it's a cool way to see what's hot in the blogosphere. http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Work and business life
Just when you think things are taking a turn for the up, they really take a turn for the up! Turns out that I mis-read the job offer email I received... it's not for 1 month, it's for 3 months, with a possible extension for another 3 months.
And then... I got my first business enquiry... and the business isn't even set up yet...
... and there's even a possibility now that Graeme might be able to work a few days or a few half days a week for his current employer, on-line, from Cape Town....
... so things are definitely looking up. God is taking care of us.
OH! and the final piece of car documentation is on its way to us as I write. Hooray! Which reminds me - I need to get back onto the Home Affairs department about Nellie's passport.
And then... I got my first business enquiry... and the business isn't even set up yet...
... and there's even a possibility now that Graeme might be able to work a few days or a few half days a week for his current employer, on-line, from Cape Town....
... so things are definitely looking up. God is taking care of us.
OH! and the final piece of car documentation is on its way to us as I write. Hooray! Which reminds me - I need to get back onto the Home Affairs department about Nellie's passport.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
So much to say...
Two weeks ago, Ali preached about how Jesus sent his disciples ahead of him into the surrounding countryside and why that was necessary. She made the comment that the disciples were preparing the way, finding out whether people were ready to receive Jesus or not. Something in that really struck a chord with me in terms of my own spiritual development. There was something about the active partnering with God to prepare people's hearts. Then, at our counselling session on Monday Ali made a comment to Graeme about the fact that, by its very nature, the 'stuck' place will not be resolved passively.
Since I had Nellie I've found that I've lacked the spiritual discipline and the time alone to have traditional 'quiet times' with God. In chatting to other mothers, I discovered that this is a common side-effect of having children. At the time I made the decision not to beat myself up about it, but it's been hard. I reckoned that God would understand and that when the time was right, he would draw me back. Yet, there is such a strong culture of regular personal QT's in the evangelical church (which I grew up in) that it's hard not to think of myself as failing in this area.
Over the past few weeks I've begun to sense God saying that now it's time to get back to something more focused, private and intentional than just relying on Sunday services for my spiritual input (hence relating to you the two incidents above, which are typical of recent weeks). Like exercising, it takes discipline to maintain that regular slot in the diary. Unfortunately, I'm not very disciplined. I'm one of the laziest bums I know! This is going to be a challenge, but it is something I really value, and I think it's something that will reap tremendous benefits in months and years to come. So I'm going to try again.
Speaking of exercise, I bet regular readers are wondering about my goal of 5,000 steps a day. Well, my stupid step-counter broke. I fixed it, and a day later it broke again. However, I have managed to maintain an attitude of exercise to some extent. While the step-counter was working, I managed to get a feel for how far 4,000 steps is (since that's a distance I walk once a week). I've been trying to motivate myself to get out there and walk, but I'll be honest and say I've yet to have a week where I've managed my 5,000 steps every single day. It's actually a lot further than you think! But, I am persevering with it. This week I've managed 2 days in a row. If I can do it again today, then it will be 4 days in a row because I'm going to do my 4,000 step walk on Friday. Which will make it a good week.
What hasn't helped in terms of exercise is that I've been very busy developing my business website. It's been going well, and I've done a mock-up of it. Now I'm actually building the real thing, based on a few friends' helpful comments on how to improve it. Then it will be a matter of testing the real thing, and finding somewhere to host it. I'd really like it to be up and running by the end of the month, but with the move and the limited time that I have to work on it, I may be pushing the boat out a bit far on that deadline.
Some good news on the job front has arrived. I've been offered a month's teaching work at a very good school in Cape Town, starting a week after we arrive. While this is another obstacle in the way of getting my business up and running, I'm grateful for the work because it means some of the financial pressure is relieved. It also gives Graeme another month to job hunt. At this point I would just like to acknowledge that once again, God has rescued us and reminded me that he will provide for us - even if it is only at the 11th hour! Thank you Lord - you are more faithful than I give you credit for.
Since I had Nellie I've found that I've lacked the spiritual discipline and the time alone to have traditional 'quiet times' with God. In chatting to other mothers, I discovered that this is a common side-effect of having children. At the time I made the decision not to beat myself up about it, but it's been hard. I reckoned that God would understand and that when the time was right, he would draw me back. Yet, there is such a strong culture of regular personal QT's in the evangelical church (which I grew up in) that it's hard not to think of myself as failing in this area.
Over the past few weeks I've begun to sense God saying that now it's time to get back to something more focused, private and intentional than just relying on Sunday services for my spiritual input (hence relating to you the two incidents above, which are typical of recent weeks). Like exercising, it takes discipline to maintain that regular slot in the diary. Unfortunately, I'm not very disciplined. I'm one of the laziest bums I know! This is going to be a challenge, but it is something I really value, and I think it's something that will reap tremendous benefits in months and years to come. So I'm going to try again.
Speaking of exercise, I bet regular readers are wondering about my goal of 5,000 steps a day. Well, my stupid step-counter broke. I fixed it, and a day later it broke again. However, I have managed to maintain an attitude of exercise to some extent. While the step-counter was working, I managed to get a feel for how far 4,000 steps is (since that's a distance I walk once a week). I've been trying to motivate myself to get out there and walk, but I'll be honest and say I've yet to have a week where I've managed my 5,000 steps every single day. It's actually a lot further than you think! But, I am persevering with it. This week I've managed 2 days in a row. If I can do it again today, then it will be 4 days in a row because I'm going to do my 4,000 step walk on Friday. Which will make it a good week.
What hasn't helped in terms of exercise is that I've been very busy developing my business website. It's been going well, and I've done a mock-up of it. Now I'm actually building the real thing, based on a few friends' helpful comments on how to improve it. Then it will be a matter of testing the real thing, and finding somewhere to host it. I'd really like it to be up and running by the end of the month, but with the move and the limited time that I have to work on it, I may be pushing the boat out a bit far on that deadline.
Some good news on the job front has arrived. I've been offered a month's teaching work at a very good school in Cape Town, starting a week after we arrive. While this is another obstacle in the way of getting my business up and running, I'm grateful for the work because it means some of the financial pressure is relieved. It also gives Graeme another month to job hunt. At this point I would just like to acknowledge that once again, God has rescued us and reminded me that he will provide for us - even if it is only at the 11th hour! Thank you Lord - you are more faithful than I give you credit for.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Lovely Laitjies website
I've been working on building the website for my business. I've basically got it sorted out in the format that I want, thanks to Google's free webpages thingy, bar the shop part of the site.
I have no plans to host the site with Google, but I couldn't conceive the idea on paper, so thought this would be a good mock-up of what I wanted. I've found the experience of writing the site interesting, as no sooner would I finish a page than I would realise why it couldn't work that way. Of course, that would mean changing several other pages too, to get it in a workable format. Needless to say, it's taken hours and I'm still not completely happy, but at least now I have a working model of what I want - which will help in the next phase.
What I need to do now is find and pay for a domain name, a proper layout in the right colours etc, and an ISP to host. Oh yes, and pay for some optimisation for the site so that search engines can find it more easily.
I have no plans to host the site with Google, but I couldn't conceive the idea on paper, so thought this would be a good mock-up of what I wanted. I've found the experience of writing the site interesting, as no sooner would I finish a page than I would realise why it couldn't work that way. Of course, that would mean changing several other pages too, to get it in a workable format. Needless to say, it's taken hours and I'm still not completely happy, but at least now I have a working model of what I want - which will help in the next phase.
What I need to do now is find and pay for a domain name, a proper layout in the right colours etc, and an ISP to host. Oh yes, and pay for some optimisation for the site so that search engines can find it more easily.
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