Happy Star Wars Day

May the fourth be with you!

Today was a good day. Yesterday was a good day. Yesterday we started off going to Toddlers, which was nice - for a change, I felt like I am starting to belong. I know a lot of the mums' and carers' names now (still learning the kids', although I do know which kids belong to whom!) and even though we arrived late, I didn't feel intimidated about breaking into a group standing chatting. Likewise, Nellie seemed to settle down quickly and was soon off playing happily (not yet completely on her own, she still wants me around, but not as much as previously).

It's funny, but that "playground mommy" clique is a major thing. My friends who have kids that are already going to school comment about it all the time. I guess it's all about competition. I've experienced it with my NCT mums (the first group, not the 2nd time mums group), and now again at Toddlers to some extent. What is it about mothers that makes them so fiercely competitive? Why can't we just be nice to each other all the time? The seemingly friendly banter may come across as merely swapping notes on your children, but often there's this sinister side to it, a subtext with the message that your child doesn't measure up while their child is so advanced for their age, or that your child is in some way morally deficient while theirs is a perfect little angel.

I think the Toddlers context is much better because there are other carers there, not just mums, so it's diluted because the carers aren't that competitive. But there are women attending the group for YEARS (either with their own kids or because they are nannies/ childminders), who all know each other and who socialise with each other outside of the group. That's a completely different sort of pressure! Equally horrid though. So it was nice that today I felt like I belonged (finally!)

But back to how the day went... After Toddlers, we had lunch, which she ate without a fuss (thank God!). Then off to see Daddy at work on the way to my physio appointment. We were able to spend a good 15 mins or so in the park across from his work, and Nellie was particularly taken by the fact that there were so many flowers just at her height, that there were so many pigeons around, and by the fact that the fountain in the middle had a fish sculpture.

Then it was off to my physio. Nellie was supposed to nap while I was there, but instead she got quite worried about me and refused to nap. She insisted of sitting up and watching what the physio was doing, all the time with this cute little worried face. I had to constantly reassure her that the physio wasn't actually attacking me! Then off to have a coffee with my sister-in-law's sister-in-law, during which Nellie slept. I really appreciated that, as it meant that I got to have a really good chat, rather than being constantly interrupted.

Supper was another battle, but not mine! I got to bath her though (fun!). So all in all, a good day for me. Which was really important. Because when I collected her on Wed from daycare, I found out that Nellie has been calling our childminder 'mummy' and her husband 'daddy' (although she has been constantly corrected to call them by their first names!). I understand how natural that is for Nellie, and that it doesn't mean she doesn't love me, or that she isn't doing it on purpose. Because we'd had such a horrible day on Tues, though, I was quite hurt by it. So it was really important to me that we had a good day on Thurs. Which we did.

For Graeme it was a good day because the person his company offered his job to has accepted! Yay! So now that means we can actually book our flights and set an actual date for moving. It's a major stress off his mind as well, I think, knowing that there is a replacement and that he will have a decent amount of time to do a handover.

Today has been good for other reasons. Today I had the energy to 'DO STUFF'. Of course, all the stuff I had to do was stressful - like writing a complaint letter to the Dept of Home Affairs about Nellie's passport, and following up another 4 pieces of paperwork to do with our move home. I hate conflict. I hate it with a passion. I would rather avoid it than confront it, so I find it stressful. But, it has to be done and has to be faced - especially when there's a deadline attached.

So, May the fourth was definitely with me today.

Plus, I got a wonderful lunch with a good friend, 2 lovely 20 min walks, and a lovely afternoon drink with another friend out of it! Not to mention 2 loads of laundry, feeding my lovely laaitjie (non-Saffa's - that's pronounced 'lighty' and means 'little one') with NO fuss again and managing not to pig out on biscuits and other junk all day! All round - so far a very good day.

I've decided I need to lose weight. I mean, seriously lose weight. I'm looking to lose 10kg at least before we fall pregnant again. I'm not obese, but I'm definitely overweight - another 5kg and I would be classified as being clinically obese! How scary is that? So - I've decided to buy a step counter and get walking (cheaper than swimming or gymming, and I get to enjoy the outdoors rather than being stuck inside).

I reckon I came close to doing 5000 steps for today (not a lot, I know, but bear in mind that because of my SPD I haven't done any exercise since January!). If I can do a week walking 5000 steps every day, then I'll try to increase that to 7000 the following week, and 10 000 the week after. If I can maintain that until we head home, I figure I'll be well on my way to losing the weight I need to.

The next problem to tackle is my snacking... I'm hopeless at avoiding chocolate, sweets, biscuits and chips (crisps) if they're in the house, and I get fairly major snack attacks, so this may be a difficult one for me to get a handle on. But I'm going to try. It's only 8 weeks till we head home, right? only 8 weeks....