Dirty linen

So it seems that once again I've put my foot in my mouth; please allow me to remove it.

I love my family, all my family, whether blood- or marriage-related. I really, really love my family. I rely on my family. They are a massive source of strength to me. I am therefore very much looking forward to seeing them and being around them again when we move home. I can no longer live with them being several thousand miles away from me, so I am moving home to be with them. I am prepared to risk the security of my husband and child in order to be within a half-hour drive of my family. This is how much they mean to me.

If I ever gave the impression that I don't love them, then I apologise.

Yes, sometimes they irritate me, sometimes they frustrate me, sometimes they drive me round the bend, sometimes I don't like them. But then I know that at times I irritate them, frustrate them, drive them round the bend and am very unlikeable myself. That doesn't mean that they love me any less, and it doesn't mean I love them any less when I express my frustration/ irritation/ dislike of something they have said or done, or failed to say or do.

I could pretend we are all lovely to each other all the time, but that would be just that - pretending. My family are all lovely - caring, loving, sensitive, intuitive, supportive, protective, wise, giving, generous... but we are all human and have our bad days. Me included.

So I apologise if sharing what I'm thinking on a bad day upsets or offends anyone. I'm just trying to be honest about the fact that I am human and my family are human. I'm not deliberately trying to wash dirty linen in public here, but I'm also not going to pretend that we have no dirty linen. I still love them and I still think they are amazing.

PS. Reading back through this post I have to confess that it's rather a bit of a storm in a teacup. Sorry. I guess I'm just being sensitive to the comments others have made because my emotions are a bit raw at the moment...I suggest that whenever you read the blog you remind yourself that my posts are often stream of consciousness things - spur of the moment feelings - and not always a true relfection of how I have been feeling over a longer period of time.