Don' put your trust in anything other than...

There was another major terrorist attack today - or rather, another thwarted attack. Two cars filled with explosives and nails.

Today a 19 yr old man (boy) was sentenced to life imprisonment for stabbing a random woman 72 times. He said he just felt like killing someone. He said he's not sorry and would do it again. This poor woman had only gone out of her office on a smoke break.

There have been 7 fatal attacks (most were stabbings) in London this week alone, one of which was of a parking warden in our area. Over the past few months there has been a lot of gang related fatal and near-fatal stabbing, and one shooting in our area too.

London is not safe.

A little girl was abducted in Swellendam (small town in the Western Cape) last week. She was found dead under her abductor's bed.

So many people are stabbed and shot and abducted in South Africa that very few of them make the news.

Cape Town is not safe.

So where is it safe to live? My experience with Zoe is bringing home to me the fact that nowhere is safe. Nowhere is safe because in no place are any of us able to control events around us to such an extent that we can prevent horrible things from happening to us. Living here, where we are supposedly safer/ healthier/ better off than in SA, our little girl was taken from us and our world was turned upside down. We had no control over it. None of us actually has any control over our lives, although we pretend we do. Any one of us could be run over tomorrow by a bus, or stabbed by a random bloke, or held up at the bank.

As the Bible teaches us, it's pointless to believe we have any control over what happens around us. Rather than putting our trust in our money, our home security systems, our police, our medical facilities, our governments, or any other thing, we should put our trust in God. I thought I had. I thought I trusted God. But God took my little girl.

So now I ask... if I can't put my trust in any man-made construct or thing, if I can't put my trust in my own body, or my family... and I can't always trust God, where does that leave me? See, I do trust God - He's been so faithful to us in so many ways I can't help but be amazed at Him - but now there's this rather large seed of doubt. What if God doesn't protect me, or my children, or my family? What if He lets us die, or get hurt, or get raped, or get tortured? If I can't trust Him, then in whom, or in what, can I put my faith?

I read stories about Christians in China and other countries that are violently anti-Christianity... stories about modern day martyrs. I know that there have been more martyrs in this century than in all previous centuries put together. I marvel at their trust and faith. I don't think I have what it takes. I don't think I can believe to the point of death. I'm not even sure I can believe to the point of life. How did they, how do they, do it? How do they hold firm to their faith when God allows them to be hurt, maimed, killed, or worse - allows that to happen to members of their family?

All I can do is to stand in awe at their faith, marvel at their ability to trust in God beyond all obvious evidence to the contrary. I hope and pray that my faith would not be found wanting when I find myself in that situation again. I hope and pray that my faith will stand this current test as I grieve my beautiful little girl.