Milestones

Tonight I reached another milestone in my journey of healing. It's been a long time coming, more than 5 years, and I'm thrilled to have finally reached it.

It's late, so I don't want to go into all the details about how I got here, or why this is such a big one - maybe one day I'll have the energy for that. What I will do, though, is to tell you what happened.

Tonight, while praying in a group of 3 at the end of an education plus church meeting, I took a step of faith. I asked God to speak to me for the other 2 people in my group. I haven't done that in 5 years. Then I took another step of faith, and decided to accept that what I "heard" was from God. Then I took yet another step of faith, and decided to share what I felt I'd heard with the others in the group.

This is SUCH a big deal for me. This represents SUCH a huge step forward for me. In some ways, I can't believe I've reached this point again. Part of me believed that I would never get here again, that this point was out of my reach. Yet, here I am.

Of course, this is all thanks to God, who has been steadily, but slowly, drawing me back to himself; who has been slowly but steadily working in my heart and in my mind, reminding me of the truths I already know; of softening my heart to trust him again. It's a work of grace - from beginning to end.

I have to add that I doubt I'm about to jump off the deep end and suddenly start sharing words with all and sundry. In many respects, I feel like a new Christian in all this again, like this is the first time I've ever done this stuff. I know that to be sensible, I also need to go slowly with this, to ensure that what I'm hearing really is God. BUT!!! But, I can testify that tonight God spoke to me for someone else, and that is just SO huge for me.... I feel like I've just run a marathon and beaten my own time by half.

What a milestone! Thank you, Lord! You are indeed faithful, even when we are faithless; you are loving, even when we feel unlovable. Thank you.