Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Teenagers and alcohol abuse

We (the staff) had the most fascinating presentation at school today about teenagers and alcohol abuse. It was delivered by a research psychologist working at a local private high school. In retrospect, I can remember hearing a lot about the kids at this school, and the SERIOUS drink problem they had, so it doesn't surprise me that they've hired this chap and that he's trying to find a way forward.

Actually, the presentation wasn't just fascinating, it was terrifying in terms of the implications. One of his main points was about how important it is that parents set clear boundaries and then HOLD TO THEM. The effects of teen drinking on brain and hormonal development are significant. Alcohol apparently has completely different effects on teens in comparison to adults, which explains a lot of their behaviour. The scary thing is that it does have a permanent effect - it destroys a teenager's ability to concentrate, which affects both the long-term memory and the working memory. In lay-man's terms, it really DOES make teenagers stupid. Unlike many of the body's other restorative abilities, once this damage is done, it is permanent and irreparable.

What scared me is thinking about Janel and her future. I know I made some really big mistakes in my life and I want to protect her from making the same sorts of mistakes. The ones I made were, I now realise, a direct consequence of being a teenager. The way that a teenager's brain, body and emotions are developing makes them prone to certain flaws.

But I digress. As I was listening to the presentation, I found myself thinking that in the same way there has been a deterioration in the abuse of alcohol by teenagers since I was a teen, there will (probably) be further deterioration between now and when Nellie is a teen. Thinking that, I suddenly began to feel daunted by the immense task of parenting. How will I keep her safe? How will I create open communication with her that will allow Graeme and I to keep her safe? How will I ensure that whatever boundaries we put in place are not only reasonable, but within our abilities to hold firm?

These are not things I really thought about when we were thinking about falling pregnant! And if I had, I doubt they would have had the import they do now (Janel is not just another child - she is my precious little angel). Yet, they are important questions. Already there are times when sticking to the boundaries we've set is difficult - and she's not yet 3. How on earth will we manage when she's a teen?

Parenting is definitely not for the faint-hearted. Let's hope and pray that Graeme and I manage to stumble through this parenting maze with sufficient grace to ward off the worst of the nightmare situations that could occur. If nothing else, it really amazes me that our parents didn't screw up more with us, that they got it so right so often with us! It really makes me appreciate their brilliance even more.

So let's here it for parents the world over: three cheers... hip hip hooray! hip hip hooray! hip hip hooray!

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