Sleep, glorious sleep

Last night I sat desperately watching 'Vanished' till midnight, trying to cram in as many episodes as I could before we leave. It kills me that I won't be able to see the rest of the series. I'm definitely hooked... it's WAY better than '24', and almost as good as 'The West Wing'.... sigh! I guess I'm just going to have to fork out and buy the DVDs.

Anyway, then I thought I'd catch up on the news headlines before going to bed, and sat watching the latest on the terrorist attack on Glasgow airport. The terror status in the UK has been elevated to critical. All airports and some major train/ tube stations have increased security.

And then I had a panic attack. I'm not given to panic attacks. I tend to be too pragmatic and indifferent. But I had a panic attack. I was remembering the July 7th attacks in London, when the tube and buses were hit. And suddenly I found myself panicking about Graeme going to and from work on the tube. When July 7th happened, I gave G a lift part way into work so he could avoid using the tubes. This time around, I don't have a car. He has no option but to use public transport. And it scared me s***less. It was so bad I nearly went to wake him up to make him promise me he'd borrow S&D's car and drive in for the rest of the week, and sod it with the congestion charge or the extortionate amount the parking would cost. Nearly.

So of course, with all that adrenalin flooding through my body I couldn't go to bed. I had to wait for the attack to pass and my body to relax again. So I only got to bed around 1.30am. Then my darling little Nellie decided that 4.30am was a good time to wake up. I sat with her for a while (she's been having massive anxiety attacks too whenever she has to go to sleep and insisting that one of us sit with her until she's asleep), then Graeme sat with her for a while, then I took her into bed with us (oh the joy of having a big double bed!! our bed is very narrow) for another half hour or so, until at around 5.30am she started talking to us and wanting to get up. Graeme got up with her, and I managed to get another hour or so's sleep, until they came upstairs so Graeme could shower.

I'm tired.

And I don't sleep during the day unless Nellie is out of the house.

And tonight will probably be another late one as S&D return from their holiday in France...

Sigh! Tertia - I have NO idea how you managed this for weeks on end with Adam.