Seesaw life

This morning #2 was being a pain. A right, royal, pain in the you-know-what. He didn't want to get dressed. He didn't want to brush his teeth. He didn't want to get in the car. He didn't want to go to school. It was one of THOSE days.

I was coping quite well, until I told him that his dummy and Doggie had to stay at home today - that they couldn't go in his bag or with him to school. At that point, the world ended for him. He screamed non-stop all the way to school, and all the way into school. I had one of those experiences where people walking by stopped to stare, and I could see, written on their faces, the question about what I was doing to torment and abuse my child so.

I carried him, stiff-bodied and screaming with rage, into school. I calmly told him I loved him, and that I was going to work. I asked for a kiss, but that wasn't going to happen. I put him down, at which point he threw himself on the floor, kicked his boots off, and continued to have a raging tantrum. I calmly walked away and got into the car.

And burst into tears.

#1, sitting in the back-seat, asked why I was crying. I managed to answer semi-coherently, while sobbing and trying to drive the car to our next destination. As I drove, I calmed down, and we arrived safely.

As I gave #1 a hug and kiss goodbye, she whispered in my ear: 'Don't cry, Mommy. It will all be alright. You'll see."

I nearly started crying again. What a wonderful, caring, supportive child I have!

As soon as I got to work, I sms'd the nursery - only to be told that within minutes he'd been calm and happy. So his whole performance was just for my benefit.... which, naturally, makes me feel terrible. I know that his teachers know that he only performs on the days I drop him off, but I sincerely hope they don't think he's always like that with me, or that I'm a bad mother, or something, 'cos any outside observer could quite easily draw that conclusion from his behaviour.

And while HE might be fine, my day has been off kilter. I've been down in the dumps ever since that episode this morning, and I just can't quite seem to shake it. No doubt, when I see him this afternoon, he'll have forgotten all about it!