The thing with fishbowls is that they limit the fish, in terms of where they can swim. That seems rather obvious, I know, but it is important to consider this, because it has massive ramifications.
I recently came across a website called TEDtalks. It's a video hosting site for inspirational talks. This morning I watched a 20 minute talk by Barry Schwartz, on his latest book 'The paradox of choice: why less is more". Being the good student that I am, I took notes. Briefly, his arguments were that:
1) Increasing the number of choices we have increases our inability to make a choice, thus increasing paralysis. He quoted a study in which it was found that for every 10-fold increase in the number of medical plans they offered, companies saw a 2% drop in the uptake of ANY medical plan by their employees. I get this. When I'm faced with 10 different types of shampoo, it takes me HOURS to make a decision. Give me only 2 and I can tell you immediately which one I want. (This doesn't work with chocolate as I'll want all 10. THAT decision is easy.)
2) Increasing the number of choices we have decreases our satisfaction with the choice we ultimately make, because we feel there should be a choice that is perfect in every way (which there isn't). So true. Clothes shopping is like that for me. There are SO many different types of jeans now... firstly I have to get the right size (which is brand dependent), then I have to decide on a colour (blue, red, black, green, white, stonewashed, acid washed, etc, etc), then I have to decide on whether I want a hipster or full waisted pair, and then I have to decide what leg shape I want (boot-leg is my usual favourite, so that's fairly easy), and the type of fit I want (regular, slim, etc). NO WONDER it takes me ages to work through the various combinations and try on the resulting possible matches. And then, once you find the pair that fits best (note: NOT the perfect fit, because nothing fits me perfectly anymore), I then have to work up the guts to pay the ridiculous price attached.
3) There are opportunity costs involved in every choice. ie. every time you make a choice FOR something, you are also making a choice AGAINST something else. I learnt this lesson while in the UK. G and I were very jealous about his siblings' travel exploits, until we realised that we'd made different choices, and that neither set of choices was right or wrong. We discovered that we're creatures of habit: we like to have a fixed abode with our creature comforts; we like to have a regular place of employment; we like to have a relatively stable network of friends around us. We DON'T like constantly having to share our space (including our bathroom) with 5 others; we don't like having to work out which trains/ tubes/ buses we were going to use to get to work; we don't like having to phone up the agencies all the time to get work; we don't like being away from our friends. The cost of the travel opportunity is all those things we don't like. The cost of the non-travel opportunities are that we never travelled as much as we wanted to. Once we realised that though, the stress of those choices faded. (We'd still love to go travelling more, but now it will have to wait until the kids are a bit older.)
4) Increasing the number of choices we have leads to increased expectations that there should be a perfect choice. When I go out for a meal, not only should what I feel like be on the menu, but it should be perfectly prepared. Enter: the DIY menu. I'll have the XYZ burger, but with the sauce & onions on the side, with extra ABC and NO GHERKINS! (or whatever....) If we can't get the perfect choice, then everything else feels second best. And who honestly wants second best?
5) Increasing the number of choices we have leads to increased personal responsibility for our own happiness, and thus to increased depression. This one is quite simple. When there was only one choice, if you didn't like it, you could blame "them" - the manufacturers, the people in charge, the world. Now that there are lots of choices, ONE of them should match you. Thus, if you are unhappy with your choice, it's your own fault for not choosing correctly.
Barry summed up by saying: Some choice is better than no choice, but more choice is NOT better than some choice. There is clearly a tipping point, at which the 'some' becomes 'more'. When I travelled through southern Africa I was struck once again by how happy those with nothing (or very little) are. They have a joy that isn't affected by how much they have, or what they're wearing, or where they live. Their joy is a simple joy at being alive and having real community. It's a godly joy.
The paradox of choice is a problem for the affluent, no doubt about it, but it's about having access to too many things - whether they are experiences or goods. If you have the opportunity to go on holiday EVERY holiday period and you have the luxury of choice in your destination, then pretty soon you become disillusioned with all these fabulous places, and with going on holiday. If you only have the option of going on holiday to one or two places, or only once a year, then you truly appreciate what you have.
The paradox of choice says that having lots of choices is bad for one. The simple solution is to limit your own choices. Since the fishbowl we used to live in has been smashed, it is up to each of us to recreate our own fishbowl. When we go out for a meal, I always start limiting my own choices before I even get there. I ask myself one simple question - do I want a veggie, beef, prok, chicken or fish/ seafood meal? By limiting myself to only 6 choices, and by making that decision BEFORE I get into the restaurant, it makes my decisions about the meal a lot easier, because by choosing one option, I'm cutting out a whole bunch of other decisions that I might need to make. If I decide, for example, that I want a seafood meal, then I already know that I won't have a starter. That's because seafood is usually more expensive and I don't have a lot of cash to splash out on. I also know that if I'm not having a starter, I will definitely be having a pudding. (Well, actually, no, I always have pud, no matter what meal I choose...) But you get the idea.
Of course, we're so accustomed to having a wide range of choices that limiting oneself feels silly and antiquated. But it works. On occasions when I don't limit my meal choices, I seldom have a good dining experience. When I do, I usually have a great meal. Take a few weeks back - we went out to Constantia Nek Restaurant. Before we'd even arrived I knew I wanted the roast. Now I haven't been to this particular restaurant in well over a decade, probably more like 2, so I had no way of knowing what the quality of food there was. I still barely glanced at the menu. I wanted the roast. I ordered said roast. It arrived. It was GLORIOUS! That might be coincidence, except that I've had the same sort of dining experience far too many times for it to be just conincidence. I never really knew what it was. Now I do.
When I choose to live in the fishbowl, life is actually better.
Of course, the fishbowl is also a metaphor for Jesus. When I choose to live as a Christian, in relationship with Christ, limiting myself to following his guidelines for life, then life is actually better. I have fewer choices in life, and therefore my overall sense of joy is higher. When I choose not to limit myself in this way (the Christian jargon for this is that I dethrone Christ and put myself on the throne of my life), then life isn't quite so good.
So - what fishbowls do you construct for yourself? or what fishbowls SHOULD you construct for yourself? What limitations on choice should you impose on yourself, in order to increase your overall joy and happiness?
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