This morning I found out that my actions yesterday were the trigger for a mother pulling her son out of our school today. I am gutted. I feel utterly devastated.
I know it's not my fault directly, and that clearly my actions were the last in a string of events, but it makes no difference to me.
The boy in question was misbehaving, and so I disciplined him in an appropriate way. I was covering a lesson for an absent colleague. I had carefully explained the work, answered several questions regarding it, walked around and helped individual learners when they were stuck (it was an Afrikaans lesson, and most of them have really poor Afrikaans). After all that time, this boy had not even taken his books out. I proceeded to give him several warnings to get down to work. Following that, I then moved him to sit at the front of the class, under my nose. At that point, he took out a newspaper and proceeded to read.
So, I followed both my own moral rule, and the rule of the school - and sent the boy to the 'time out' room. In this staffed room, learners are removed from their class (where their actions may lead to confrontation with the teacher and/ or distract other learners from their work) but have to continue with the work set. Three visits to the 'time out' room results in an evening detention. Further visits result in a disciplinary hearing.
I have no idea what number visit this was for this boy, but it clearly wasn't his first.
Yet, if I had not followed the school rule, if I had given the boy one more opportunity, maybe he would still be in school.
I have no idea what this boy's future holds.... I only know that it will be forever different (and quite possibly worse) because I chose not to display mercy.
And so I am gutted.
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Edited to add: This morning the deputy head dealing with this informed us that this boy is going to Abbotts, which is probably the right place for him. He is apparently very bright, but needs real motivation to get working. In addition, I was chatting to the other deputy head about how I felt about the situation, and he informed me that this boy had been sent to the 'time out' room 5 times already this year; my one was the sixth. That made me feel better, because it was evidence of what I knew intuitively, which means that it was evidence that I wasn't the one to blame.
Can I also just say how much I appreciate everyone's support and words of comfort? I really do. Thank you.
5 comments:
Sighhhhhhhhhhhh. Nicole don't blame yourself. You did your best. At a younger level we too have problems with the parents. I have been accused of 'pushing' a boy..I know I didn't............Ialso knew Mum when she was only 5 too..maybe I know too much. School would be great without the parents, lol, and sometimes without the kids!!! Think +ve....Anne
I think I need to open me a blog...what do you reccomend?...Anne
Hi Nicole
Of course - I'm sorry too - just sorry that you have to go through waiting and uncertainty and sadness. (Not sure of your exact situation though.)Sorry that in this messed up world, happy news is never just that.
Love Kate
Don't feel bad. It was not your fault. The learner was responsible for his actions and he knew the outcome of insubordination or bad behaviour. You did the right thing.
Hey Nicole - seems you've attracted much attention with this story! I'd just like to encourage you that it is never the wrong thing to do the right thing, and you did the right thing. Letting him get away with that kind of behaviour would have been the wrong thing. He must be held accountable for his actions or he'll never learn to submit to authority....but I can sympathise that you are upset about it. Beks is dealing with kids like this boy too and we almost reported someone to the Principal yesterday for lewd behaviour on the bus. Trouble is, I feel bad about not reporting him beacuse he might just think it's OK to behave like that and get into even more trouble....you can't win! Love from Debbie
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