Monday, March 30, 2009

Mixed up

It's one thing when you know that your pregnancy is high risk. It's quite another discovering that a friend is in trouble. For one, you feel so completely helpless. At least, if it's me, I know what the situation is minute by minute. With a friend, you've got to wait for them to sms you (since their phone will mostly be off while in hospital) or call you and let you know progress.

A dear friend has been having problems with her pregnancy just lately - blood pressure stuff. She went into hospital again this past weekend because she was having difficulty breathing & her blood pressure was doing really weird things. After a battery of tests, pre-eclampsia has been ruled out. So has the possibility of an embolism and pregnancy diabetes. Baby is doing absolutely fine. So far so good.

However, they still haven't been able to figure out why her blood pressure is all over the place. She's had to basically cancel her holiday plans (she will still go away, but to a place just over an hour away, rather than the original exotic holiday planned) and now is worried that they will have to induce early. She's about a week ahead of me in terms of gestation.

Praying for her, and worrying about her, over the weekend it struck me afresh how Zoe's death has affected me. I sometimes still struggle to hold other people's babies, and to get excited about them. With this dear friend, my heart was completely in my throat all weekend at the thought that she might have to suffer as I did. Last week, when our deputy head's wife gave birth, I was over the moon about it. Yet, I still struggle to hold family babies... and there are several of them around. Graeme's cousin is also currently pregnant, and I'm finding it really difficult to feel excited for her, yet I'm really excited for my colleague at work (who is 2 weeks ahead of me).

I'm thoroughly mixed up. I can't explain why with friends and colleagues I'm fine, but with family I'm not. It's just so weird. I wish I could though, it would make it a lot easier to deal with.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Extreme sheep art

Sometimes adverts can be so boring. So mundane. So run of the mill. Clearly, the advertising agents were having not just an off day, or week, but an off year.

But then, sometimes, you come across an artist. Someone (or several some ones) who really has the creative genius. Someone who tackles a topic from a completely left field perspective.

AND they manage to produce something incredible. They pull it off.

This is one such ad. It's well worth watching, even though it's nearly 3 mins long. In fact, when it's over you'll wish they'd made it 10 minutes.

UCT RAG floats

As a UCT alumnus, I'm quite attached to the institution. As a first year student there are certain traditions one enters into. Firstly, you simply have to go and sell the RAG magazine. RAG is the student-run fundraising arm of SHAWCO, the student-run charity organisation. You get to dress up weirdly, stand at traffic lights and sell a magazine put together by students. All money raised goes to SHAWCO.

The other more exclusive event is the RAG float parade. This event is exclusively for students of the various hostels. Each hostel designs its own float. These are then paraded down one of the streets in the CBD, collecting money as they go. Again, all money raised goes to SHAWCO. One of the photo blogs I follow is Cape Town Daily Photo. They have a great photo album of this year's parade, which took place yesterday.

SHAWCO runs a variety of projects, both in the health and education sector. As a student, I got involved in one of the educational projects. At the time, I wasn't terribly impressed with their organisation (even back then I was not very tolerant of people who couldn't organise themselves properly), but I figured that at least I was doing SOMETHING.

This year, the RAG magazine event created a lot of controversy because of a comic strip that was very anti-Christianity. So much so that it has even been debated on national television and news. I wasn't surprised by it, as even when I was at university, the institution as a whole was very anti-Christianity, and over the years that I was there the magazine got more and more smutty in its content.

During a discussion in the staff room though, I learnt that one of my colleagues had (recently) been on SHAWCO's executive board. She resigned when she discovered how poorly run the organisation is. Being such a large organisation, they receive tons of funding from all over the world. This money is, apparently, not put to good use. It isn't mis-managed as such, just not utilised properly. For example, SHAWCO received a lump sum of several hundred thousand Rand to be used for one of their educational projects. Instead of buying equipment for underprivileged schools (even low tech stuff like stationery - many kids can't afford to buy paper or pens or textbooks), money was spent buying digital cameras and having T-shirts printed to be able to take photos of UCT students interacting with the kids at a few schools.

In addition, I was told that the RAG magazine, which bears UCT's logo and name, is not seen or approved by anyone in UCT's official management. SHAWCO operates entirely independently. To my mind, if you are a large organisation, such as UCT, and something carries your name and logo on it, you'd want to make sure that the quality of the that product meets a required standard, so that your name doesn't become associated with smut and discrimination based on religion. Apparently not though.

Hearing this, coupled with my own poor experience of SHAWCO when I was a student has put me off the organisation as a whole. As a result, I decided to boycott the parade. I've also decided to boycott the RAG magazine in future, and all things SHAWCO related. Pity, because when I make my millions, I might have given some to them.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Only fools and horses...

I'm not a perfect driver. Some days, I'll admit, I'm not even a good driver (yeah, you heard it here first). I get far too many speeding fines... I think I've had 4 since New Year. BUT! I like to think that I'm sensible and a pretty good driver (on the whole). I've yet to be in an accident - caused by me, that is. (I've had someone reverse into the side of my car in a fit of road rage, in order to reach the car behind me - the target - more quickly!!)

When there is lots of traffic, I've learnt to chill and just accept that I'm going to be stuck in it for a while, so I slow down, follow proper following distances, etc, etc. In general, I'm a stickler for using the correct signals, and (unlike my husband) I stop at red lights and go at green ones. I don't take unnecessary risks when I have passengers (although because my spatial awareness is damn good it may appear to be so to someone who doesn't have quite the same level of awareness).

Today I nearly lost my rag with a COMPLETE IDIOT. Those who know my local shopping centre will know that on a Saturday morning it is heaving. In order to deal with the traffic problem, one of the adjacent streets has been made a one way. This does make life harder in general, because to get the petrol garage you have to go ALL the way around the shopping centre, or all the way around the adjacent block.

Well, some clever twit decided that, at 11am, it would be fine to go the wrong way down the one way, because it was quicker and shorter. He had a fridge to deliver, and could obviously not be bothered to go all the way round.

Normally, I would have hooted, and then pulled over to let the idiot pass. But today, something in me just had had enough. I don't care that it's longer to go around. I don't care that there is lots of traffic. It's not safe going the wrong way down the road - especially when your kids are in the car, and NOT STRAPPED IN.

So I refused to pull over. I gesticulated to this idiot that he had to reverse. But no, he tried to pull over to let me pass. I refused to move. So then he tried to manoeuvre around me, but my car was in such a position that he couldn't get around without scratching the parked vehicles, his vehicle or mine. Graeme then got out to go and talk to him. Maybe, just maybe, he hadn't understood my gesticulations. But no, he had. He just thought that he was more important and so the rules could be broken for him.

Of course, by this time, a string of cars had pulled up behind me. I was starting to feel the pressure to just give in, when the gentleman in the car behind me, and the car behind him, also got out and came to talk to this idiot. Thus, with extreme reluctance, he started to reverse. He tried to pull up behind a delivery truck that was parked in the road, to make space for me to go around him, but I simply refused.

I pulled up close enough to him to prevent him from travelling the wrong way back down the one way, but with enough space to manoeuvre around the truck. Graeme spoke to him again. Apparently, he told Graeme to call the police because he wasn't moving. So Graeme got back in the car and I started to dial. As luck would have it though, just then, not one, not two but THREE police vehicles arrived (at the end of the road to which we were heading).

I flashed my lights and pointed to this idiot, and within a few seconds, I'd attracted their attention. With sirens blaring, one of the police vans drove down the road towards us. At long last, and with a look that would have killed he did a U-turn and left.

Of course, by this stage my blood pressure was sky high, but I was elated. A triumph for law & justice! A triumph for the local citizens refusing to give in to skollies who think they can do whatever the hell they like. Yay for us!!

The capacity for evil

The other day, I was busy combing our rescue dog, Alyssa, when I discovered something horrible. She has always been averse to having her head and neck combed. Now I know why. As I was searching for fleas, and combing her hair the wrong way, I discovered a thick band of scar tissue (about 1cm wide) on which no hair was growing. Poor Alyssa has either been strangled, or tied up to such an extent that she developed a deep cut around her throat.

How can any person harm someone or something else like that? I can understand losing your temper... I've come very close to throttling Baggins when he's dug yet another hole or chewed even more of the irrigation system.

But the sort of wounds Alyssa has speak of a deliberate, long-term action that has scarred her both physically and mentally. While I may smack Baggins, I do so with a rolled up newspaper on his rump. While I may smack Janel, it's a sharp pat on the hand, or on her bum. These are actions designed more to shock than harm. If I were ever to cause serious harm to either man or beast... well, I wouldn't. That's the point.

I don't understand how people would allow themselves to lose control to that extent. I mean, I understand how it happens, even in normal, rational human beings. You just get pushed beyond the limit, and i recognise that that can happen to anyone in extreme circumstances, that no-one is immune. What I don't understand is how you can allow yourself to be put in that situation, (particularly on a regular basis), how you can fail to develop the self-discipline needed not to remove yourself from the situation, or change the situation. What I don't understand is the lack of compassion for other lives.

When I was teaching in the UK I realised for the first time that children who behave irresponsibly and immaturely don't grow up. They don't miraculously become functional adults who can take a responsible place in society. They become irresponsible and immature adults, who procreate irresponsibly and then raise more irresponsible and immature children. These individuals are totally 'me' orientated and have no ability to sympathise or empathise with others. It was a real eye opener for me. These kids saw nothing wrong with vandalism, taking drugs, physical violence against both friend and foe, and, what was worse, neither did their parents.

While I can understand it at a cognitive level, at an emotional level I really don't. The kids I've described would have no problems with beating a dog to death. I understand that because they have no capacity for real love, because they've grown up in a world where real love has not been demonstrated to them. At an emotional level I just don't get it. How can anyone lose touch with their own humanity to that extent?

I know that we aren't the perfect dog owners. We don't have enough time to pay them the attention they deserve/ walk them/ play with them/ keep them as mentally healthy as they should be. I know that. Yet, I also know that the home we provide for our pets is a safe and happy one. They are loved, fed, given shelter, and cared for. I know that Alyssa is happy with us and feels mostly secure (every now and again, her emotional scars come peeking through and she wets herself). It makes me feel good to know that we are giving her a new chance at life, in the manner that it should be lived. I am astounded though by the human capacity for cruelty and violence. Within each of us there is a tremendous capacity for evil, and I am astounded at how easily we allow that capacity to become a reality.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Say what?!

Kids! Who really understands what goes on in their heads?

Take my tutor group, for example. I found out that some of the kids in the class have been cutting off the clips on other class mates' bags, making them utterly useless (since they can't be closed). Why? Well, no real reason. Some of them like to make chains out of the clips they cut off. Others like to try to sell the clips back to the person who's bag they were originally cut off of. When you try to explain to them that that's like someone stealing your TV and then trying to sell it back to you, they just don't see the connection.

Like, uh... DUH! That's a TV and this is just a clip, Miss. There's no similarity at all.

When you explain that not only is that vandalism (huh?), but that they will be expected to replace the bag entirely at their own cost, their response is... but why? I only cut off the clips! If I give them back can't they just, like, stick them back on or something?!?!

I am definitely of another generation. Not only would I never have considered doing something like that (my mother would have ... I don't know what - it would have been too terrible to contemplate ever doing something so ridiculous, that's for sure!) but if I'd been stupid enough to get caught, I would never have responded like that. I mean, anyone with two brain cells to rub together can see how ludicrous an activity it is.

Of course, the fact that the other kids are stupid enough to BUY BACK their clips... well! I can only hope they're doing it because they don't want to get into trouble with their parents ('how on earth could you let something like that happen to your stuff?') and are trying to make amends BEFORE they get into trouble.

Then again, kids are dumb enough to try drugs, to binge drink, to try to steal their parents' cars... maybe this is just the latest trick in the book. But really, if you're going to get into the lifestyle of being a petty criminal, at least do something intelligent, something that requires some brain cells, like becoming a hacker.

...speaking of which, we've had a virus on the server at work for the past week. It's been worse than being in the dark ages! Having no technology is incredibly annoying - particularly for a techno-geek like me. I can't teach without my Smartboard, or at least without a data projector and PowerPoint. But having access to the technology when it's chugging over at a pace so slow even snails could crawl faster... well, that's been indigestion & ulcer-causing. (I think I've gone through a bottle of Gaviscon in 3 days as a result.) I'd rather do without! (Fortunately, it's all fixed now, so next week should be better.)

But all this sloth-like behaviour from the computers has meant that I've had to get my news the old fashioned way - by getting up off my stool and wandering over to the deputy head's office and actually, like, TALKING to the man, in PERSON. That's been a shock to the system - not least because in my current state I try to do as little walking as possible. (I've had 2 days of excruciating pain during which a sloth would have beaten me in a race.) It's also been a shock as the deputy head is so seldom seen during the day - he's either in his office putting out fires, or trying to teach these blasted juniors to THINK. We all know it's a losing battle. This clip-cutting incident is all the evidence one needs.

I mean, really, we all know that a teenager's brain - no, let's be specific here. We all know that a teenage boy's brain is completely disconnected from the rest of his body. Rational thought is not something a teenage boy is capable of.

OMG!! I'm incubating one of those right now! Help, help! In a few years' time it's going to be MY idiot teenage son telling me he's in DT yet again for... I don't know - trying to set a girl's hair alight, or something equally stupid. HELP! I'm not cut out for dealing with other people's moronic children; how on EARTH am I going to cope with my own??????

Oh no, but wait - my son will be different. I mean, after all, he has me as his mother. Phew! OK then, we'll be alright. No child of mine would ever DARE do something so stupid, because he knows that I will skin him alive for displaying any, even vague, moronic tendencies. There will be no fools in my household - or at least, no living ones.

Right?

Well, I'll keep telling myself that. I'm sure that in a few years' time one of you will be loving enough to pass me the blindfold and earplugs so that I can continue to live in my delusional world of perfection. And I will love you all the more for it!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Ring the bell for change

I love watching the news. I could watch news all day. I don't read the paper, or listen to the radio much, but I do love the news. Having said that, I don't often get to watch, and when I do, I'm frequently disappointed by the SABC's version of the news. (I'm really starting to appreciate Al Jazeera, and the BBC news is always worth watching.)

I love hearing stories about what's going on in the world around me - from other countries to my local area. What I don't enjoy is seeing the same old thing coming up time and time again. For example, I'm really tired of hearing about the 2010 World Cup preparations. I am tiring of hearing about the recession we're about to go into, and I am definitely OVER hearing about how rubbish the ANC politicians are.

Our general elections aren't far away now (next month). As a result, all and sundry are trying to convince the public that they are the party to vote for, but the promises are all the same, and we all know that they're empty promises. No politician ever means what he/ she says. If they did, if it were possible to keep the promises they make, then this world would already be a very different place to live in, because those who were elected to power last time around (or the time before that, or the time before that) would have already made good on those promises.

The latest example of failure to deliver is that the government has refused a visa to the Dalai Lama to SA to attend a conference for Nobel peace laureates, to discuss how the 2010 World Cup (and soccer in general) can be used to promote tolerance, and to fight racism and xenophobia. Effectively, they have banned him from SA, indefinitely. As a result, the conference has been indefinitely postponed.

Now why, I ask you, would a government who should truly understand the fight for freedom, refuse to permit an international icon of peace, an international icon of the fight for human rights & in a similar league to our venerated ex-president Nelson Mandela, to a conference? Many people are speculating that it's because the ANC are in bed with the Chinese, who kicked up a huge fuss when our South African Nobel peace laureates extended the invitation to him. My opinion is that it's obvious to anyone with eyes to see that the ANC is no longer really interested in human rights. Now all they are interested in is power - getting it, having it, keeping it. SA's relationship with China is more important to the ANC than the human rights of either its people or the Tibetans.

Quite frankly, I find this disgraceful and despicable, but not at all surprising. The fact that the ANC is only interested in furthering its own aims, and no longer appears interested in the human rights it struggled so desperately for, for so many years, is old news. We know this. We're bored of hearing this. Move on.

The only good that might come of this, is, I hope, that more people will wake up and choose to vote for another party. While I'm not interested in listening to political debates (a negative campaign is boring to all concerned), I am very interested in seeing the outcome of this general election. I hope and pray that the ANC does not get its majority, and I hope and pray that COPE doesn't choose to sign an agreement with the ANC.

I hope and pray that this election will be a truly democratic affair in which the best party for South African wins - even if that's not the one I vote for - and I really hope and pray that that party is not the ANC. I'm tired of their empty promises, bored of their rhetoric, disgusted by their corruption. Time for change! Let's ring that bell and get some REAL news for a change.