Blasted Haloscan - although I thought I'd fixed the commenting thing, looks like I haven't. Which is incredibly annoying, because although people have commented, and we've published them, they STILL aren't showing up....
So I'm going to resort to publishing comments as posts. How annoying.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
'Q&A' - Who wants to be a billionaire??
One of my presents was the novel 'Q&A', which is an Indian story about the fictional quiz show 'Who wants to be a billionaire?' and an 18yr old slum dweller who wins, quite by chance. The story was inspired by the UK Colonel who cheated on 'Who wants to be a millionaire?'
The story starts with the hero being arrested for cheating. After a while, his lawyer arrives, and he starts to explain to her why he knew all the answers. It starts out as quite a dark story, as the stories he tells her are about abuse, incest, rape, and all kinds of horrible events that are commonplace in the slums. Yet, if you stick with it, the story brightens and has a lovely, typical Bollywood ending.
The ending of the story got me thinking though, about how I would spend a million Rands, or a billion rupees, if I were to win it. I was pleasantly surprised to find that my answer has changed over the past few months. The last time I really played around with this fantasy, I was focused on fixing life for myself. This time around, I only had 2 personal ambitions (to pay off the bond and to buy a new people carrier, which would be just over a quarter of the money). I found myself wanting to spend the rest of the money on people and organisations around me that really need it.
I've been touched by the plight of local schools and churches (just on the other side of the railway line, which will only really mean something to those who know how Cape Town is laid out), and other voluntary organisations that really play a vital role in society. Examples are the NSRI and the Mountain Rescue team. These two teams are entirely privately funded, and need at least R10 million a year to continue to offer the basic service they do. Fortunately, I've never had need of either.
Until my uncle died a few months back, the Mountain Rescue team had never, in its entire history, lost a patient on the mountain. Table Mountain, being so easily accessible to the untrained public, and having such inclement weather patterns, regularly sees unsuspecting hikers getting trapped and injured. No matter what the weather, you ALWAYS take a cell phone, water, food, and a jersey with you on the mountain, because YOU NEVER KNOW what may happen. Even if you're only going for a quick walk. You stay on marked paths, and you don't venture off into areas you are unfamiliar with unless you have either a guide or a map, or both.
The NSRI is kept busy throughout the year by people who don't take proper precautions in the water. The Cape is not called the 'Cape of Storms' for no reason. Every year, there are boats that get into trouble because they run out of fuel, or are struck by lightning, or get swamped by freak waves, or simply don't check the radio and other equipment properly. Alternatively, they run aground. Scarily, many of these people do not wear life jackets, and many of them do not hold a pilot's licence. Those who go out on catamarans get into trouble because the wind gets so strong they get blown off track and can't tack back.
Interestingly, most deaths that take place on or near beaches on the west coast are heart attacks caused by people who stand half in and half out of the water. The water is extremely cold, so people don't get in and swim. However, standing half in half out puts the heart under tremendous strain, and often results in heart attacks. The person falls down, into the water, and drowns. Here, the Lifesavers Association comes into their own. And when they're not dealing with that, they need to keep an eye out for sharks, and deal with lost children or blue bottle stings.
There are lots of these organisations who save lives every year, and rely totally on voluntary organisations. They work hardest over the Christmas period (and other festive periods) when idiot drunkards put themselves and others at risk.
There are also a few churches I've come across recently for whom even R10,000 would mean they could achieve some of the projects they really need to - like a new roof, or updating their electrical cabling. Why would I need to hang onto a million when there are groups like these that could REALLY use the money to bless hundreds and thousands of others?
There's a great advert on TV at the moment (for MTN, I think) in which someone receives this HUGE present. Upon opening it, there are two smaller, wrapped presents inside. He keeps one, and gives the other away. The new recipient opens his present, to discover two smaller, wrapped presents inside, and repeats the process. This continues several times, until the tag line of 'get your share of R8 million' comes onto the screen. Although I disagree with the ad's intended purpose, I like the image of passing on or sharing the gift you have received. '
Freely you have received, freely give.' 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' I think I'm finally starting to learn this lesson.
So what would you do with a million?
B says: I would invest it. That way the money would keep bringing in interest that could be used for worthy causes indefinately and the interest on a million is a lot of money!
The story starts with the hero being arrested for cheating. After a while, his lawyer arrives, and he starts to explain to her why he knew all the answers. It starts out as quite a dark story, as the stories he tells her are about abuse, incest, rape, and all kinds of horrible events that are commonplace in the slums. Yet, if you stick with it, the story brightens and has a lovely, typical Bollywood ending.
The ending of the story got me thinking though, about how I would spend a million Rands, or a billion rupees, if I were to win it. I was pleasantly surprised to find that my answer has changed over the past few months. The last time I really played around with this fantasy, I was focused on fixing life for myself. This time around, I only had 2 personal ambitions (to pay off the bond and to buy a new people carrier, which would be just over a quarter of the money). I found myself wanting to spend the rest of the money on people and organisations around me that really need it.
I've been touched by the plight of local schools and churches (just on the other side of the railway line, which will only really mean something to those who know how Cape Town is laid out), and other voluntary organisations that really play a vital role in society. Examples are the NSRI and the Mountain Rescue team. These two teams are entirely privately funded, and need at least R10 million a year to continue to offer the basic service they do. Fortunately, I've never had need of either.
Until my uncle died a few months back, the Mountain Rescue team had never, in its entire history, lost a patient on the mountain. Table Mountain, being so easily accessible to the untrained public, and having such inclement weather patterns, regularly sees unsuspecting hikers getting trapped and injured. No matter what the weather, you ALWAYS take a cell phone, water, food, and a jersey with you on the mountain, because YOU NEVER KNOW what may happen. Even if you're only going for a quick walk. You stay on marked paths, and you don't venture off into areas you are unfamiliar with unless you have either a guide or a map, or both.
The NSRI is kept busy throughout the year by people who don't take proper precautions in the water. The Cape is not called the 'Cape of Storms' for no reason. Every year, there are boats that get into trouble because they run out of fuel, or are struck by lightning, or get swamped by freak waves, or simply don't check the radio and other equipment properly. Alternatively, they run aground. Scarily, many of these people do not wear life jackets, and many of them do not hold a pilot's licence. Those who go out on catamarans get into trouble because the wind gets so strong they get blown off track and can't tack back.
Interestingly, most deaths that take place on or near beaches on the west coast are heart attacks caused by people who stand half in and half out of the water. The water is extremely cold, so people don't get in and swim. However, standing half in half out puts the heart under tremendous strain, and often results in heart attacks. The person falls down, into the water, and drowns. Here, the Lifesavers Association comes into their own. And when they're not dealing with that, they need to keep an eye out for sharks, and deal with lost children or blue bottle stings.
There are lots of these organisations who save lives every year, and rely totally on voluntary organisations. They work hardest over the Christmas period (and other festive periods) when idiot drunkards put themselves and others at risk.
There are also a few churches I've come across recently for whom even R10,000 would mean they could achieve some of the projects they really need to - like a new roof, or updating their electrical cabling. Why would I need to hang onto a million when there are groups like these that could REALLY use the money to bless hundreds and thousands of others?
There's a great advert on TV at the moment (for MTN, I think) in which someone receives this HUGE present. Upon opening it, there are two smaller, wrapped presents inside. He keeps one, and gives the other away. The new recipient opens his present, to discover two smaller, wrapped presents inside, and repeats the process. This continues several times, until the tag line of 'get your share of R8 million' comes onto the screen. Although I disagree with the ad's intended purpose, I like the image of passing on or sharing the gift you have received. '
Freely you have received, freely give.' 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' I think I'm finally starting to learn this lesson.
So what would you do with a million?
B says: I would invest it. That way the money would keep bringing in interest that could be used for worthy causes indefinately and the interest on a million is a lot of money!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Birthday disaster
For someone who is usually incredibly good at being romantic and creative, my husband managed to forget my birthday. No breakfast in bed. No card from my husband. No card from my daughter. Not even a 'happy birthday, darling!' in the morning. Nope.
(In his defense, he did have a wonderfully romantic evening planned, but as I have flu, earlier in the week we agreed to postpone it. However, that does not mean postpone the WHOLE birthday...)
Oupa popped over to wish me, which was lovely. Except that Nellie thought he was coming to spend the morning with her at home (she has NOT wanted to go to nursery AT ALL this week, and every morning has included a traumatic farewell to Mommy that has gutted me) and play until Mommy came home. Upon discovering that this was not the case, her world fell apart.
She refused to get into the car, so Mommy had to carry a kicking and screaming child to the car and strap her in. Then she cried all the way to nursery, and refused to get out. So Mommy had to carry her in to the nursery. Then she refused to let go, so the teachers there had to help me physically pull her from me. And all the way back to the car I could hear her screaming at the TOP of her lungs for me. It was so awful, I sat and cried in the car. I came close to going back in to fetch her, take her home and ring the school to say I was too sick to come in. I did ring the nursery school when I got to work, which I've never done before, to check whether she was ok. She was settling down, I was told, which made me feel even more ill. (She's never taken that long to settle down after I've left her.)
Then, (a very small thing, but in the light of how my day had gone, it became a big thing), my birthday was not announced in the staffroom. And those who did know it was my birthday, did not stand up and say anything as the meeting ended either.
I did start to receive lots of lovely text messages, but because my phone was broken, I couldn't reply. So I sat there thinking that all those who sms'd me would now be thinking how rude I was.
Finally, the work I had thought would only take an hour, took me about 4. So instead of being able to fetch Nellie early and spend lots of time with her in the afternoon to make up for the horrible morning we'd both had, I could only fetch her at about 4pm... which made me feel even worse - a failure as a mother.
But once we did get home, things improved dramatically. My guilt-ridden husband had bought me a bunch of beautiful red roses and Lindt chocolates. My baby girl and I played together on the trampoline and had a lot of fun. When we then dropped Nellie off at my in-laws, they had a lovely present waiting for me (a worm farm!! Yay!) When we got home, a friend I hadn't seen in WEEKS popped over for a lovely visit. And then we got to go to the movies AND I GOT TO PICK THE FILM! (99% of the time Graeme chooses the movie, and his choices are always good, which is why I let him, but it's nice being able to choose from time to time.)
It was a great film - Body of Lies. Very violent in parts, and the ending wasn't quite as dramatic as I would have liked, but all round a very good film that raises a lot of questions about how we see the world.
And this morning, when we went to Nellie's concert, she and Grandma had made me a wonderful card! Even better than a shop bought one!
So all in all, it was a good birthday, even though it started disastrously.
(In his defense, he did have a wonderfully romantic evening planned, but as I have flu, earlier in the week we agreed to postpone it. However, that does not mean postpone the WHOLE birthday...)
Oupa popped over to wish me, which was lovely. Except that Nellie thought he was coming to spend the morning with her at home (she has NOT wanted to go to nursery AT ALL this week, and every morning has included a traumatic farewell to Mommy that has gutted me) and play until Mommy came home. Upon discovering that this was not the case, her world fell apart.
She refused to get into the car, so Mommy had to carry a kicking and screaming child to the car and strap her in. Then she cried all the way to nursery, and refused to get out. So Mommy had to carry her in to the nursery. Then she refused to let go, so the teachers there had to help me physically pull her from me. And all the way back to the car I could hear her screaming at the TOP of her lungs for me. It was so awful, I sat and cried in the car. I came close to going back in to fetch her, take her home and ring the school to say I was too sick to come in. I did ring the nursery school when I got to work, which I've never done before, to check whether she was ok. She was settling down, I was told, which made me feel even more ill. (She's never taken that long to settle down after I've left her.)
Then, (a very small thing, but in the light of how my day had gone, it became a big thing), my birthday was not announced in the staffroom. And those who did know it was my birthday, did not stand up and say anything as the meeting ended either.
I did start to receive lots of lovely text messages, but because my phone was broken, I couldn't reply. So I sat there thinking that all those who sms'd me would now be thinking how rude I was.
Finally, the work I had thought would only take an hour, took me about 4. So instead of being able to fetch Nellie early and spend lots of time with her in the afternoon to make up for the horrible morning we'd both had, I could only fetch her at about 4pm... which made me feel even worse - a failure as a mother.
But once we did get home, things improved dramatically. My guilt-ridden husband had bought me a bunch of beautiful red roses and Lindt chocolates. My baby girl and I played together on the trampoline and had a lot of fun. When we then dropped Nellie off at my in-laws, they had a lovely present waiting for me (a worm farm!! Yay!) When we got home, a friend I hadn't seen in WEEKS popped over for a lovely visit. And then we got to go to the movies AND I GOT TO PICK THE FILM! (99% of the time Graeme chooses the movie, and his choices are always good, which is why I let him, but it's nice being able to choose from time to time.)
It was a great film - Body of Lies. Very violent in parts, and the ending wasn't quite as dramatic as I would have liked, but all round a very good film that raises a lot of questions about how we see the world.
And this morning, when we went to Nellie's concert, she and Grandma had made me a wonderful card! Even better than a shop bought one!
So all in all, it was a good birthday, even though it started disastrously.
Oh! How I laughed
This morning was Nellie's school concert. She was a 'twinkle star' and had a solo. Unfortunately, as predicted, she got horrible stage fright. But shortly thereafter, once the big moment had passed, she really got into the concert and started singing.
It was a long event, but sweet. And well worth it to see my little angel up there being SO SERIOUS about her singing and the actions. She made me laugh so much I cried. She was just adorable in her seriousness, but I did have to wonder whether she was enjoying any of it.
We really do need to teach her Rule #6. I guess the best way to do that is to teach it to myself first. (In case you're not a Ben Zander follower... Rule #6 says 'Don't take yourself too seriously.') I had thought we were doing well, but maybe we're not doing as well as I think... Sigh! This parenting thing is hard. No rule books, no guide books, just a whole lot of flying by the seat of your pants.
It's the best adventure ever!
(Oh yes, I'll put a video clip up on her site shortly.)
It was a long event, but sweet. And well worth it to see my little angel up there being SO SERIOUS about her singing and the actions. She made me laugh so much I cried. She was just adorable in her seriousness, but I did have to wonder whether she was enjoying any of it.
We really do need to teach her Rule #6. I guess the best way to do that is to teach it to myself first. (In case you're not a Ben Zander follower... Rule #6 says 'Don't take yourself too seriously.') I had thought we were doing well, but maybe we're not doing as well as I think... Sigh! This parenting thing is hard. No rule books, no guide books, just a whole lot of flying by the seat of your pants.
It's the best adventure ever!
(Oh yes, I'll put a video clip up on her site shortly.)
Stories from afar (part 2)
Following my post about the Afro-Caribbean boys, my brother-in-law sent me an email with several articles about the institutional racism in British schools (with particular reference to racism towards Afro-Caribbean boys). I've been mulling over how to respond.
Was I aware of institutional racism in the British school system towards Afro-Caribbean boys? Yes. That is rather old hat for teachers in the UK, I'm afraid. At our school, regular meetings were held to discuss the issue, and how best to negate the effects for the boys in the school. And we did our best to put into practice the strategies that were suggested as the best remedial way forward.
Did I need to mention that the boys in that story were Afro-Caribbean? The story itself would probably have lost little if I hadn't.
So why did I? Because, unfortunately, my perception is that most violent crime in London is committed by Afro-Caribbean boys. My point in telling the story was not just to relate the story. It was that I had anticipated some criminal act in these boys, specifically because of their race, and had therefore tried to do something about it, to try and help them plot a different path and future for themselves. I was trying to help them avoid the very statistic they became. And I failed. Horribly, miserably, tragically. That was the point. I doubt I could have made that point without mentioning the boys' race.
Does that make me racist? We're all racist. It's only the extent and direction that varies. If you favour one race over another, for whatever reason, whether for good intentions (like affirmative action is in SA) or bad (like Apartheid was in SA), you are still racist. You might be racist towards Germans, or Chinese. You might love all things American (or hate them) and hate all things Cuban. The fact that you differentiate at all makes you racist.
A better question to ask would be, how do I act on my prejudices (both good and bad)? My answer to that is that I endeavour to help every person I meet in whatever way I can, to enable them to reach their potential. Of course, I don't succeed. I fail dismally in fact, because in South Africa the need is overwhelming, and if I were to truly try and help every person I met, I would be burnt out and broke. But I try when and how I can. And that has to count for something.
Was I aware of institutional racism in the British school system towards Afro-Caribbean boys? Yes. That is rather old hat for teachers in the UK, I'm afraid. At our school, regular meetings were held to discuss the issue, and how best to negate the effects for the boys in the school. And we did our best to put into practice the strategies that were suggested as the best remedial way forward.
Did I need to mention that the boys in that story were Afro-Caribbean? The story itself would probably have lost little if I hadn't.
So why did I? Because, unfortunately, my perception is that most violent crime in London is committed by Afro-Caribbean boys. My point in telling the story was not just to relate the story. It was that I had anticipated some criminal act in these boys, specifically because of their race, and had therefore tried to do something about it, to try and help them plot a different path and future for themselves. I was trying to help them avoid the very statistic they became. And I failed. Horribly, miserably, tragically. That was the point. I doubt I could have made that point without mentioning the boys' race.
Does that make me racist? We're all racist. It's only the extent and direction that varies. If you favour one race over another, for whatever reason, whether for good intentions (like affirmative action is in SA) or bad (like Apartheid was in SA), you are still racist. You might be racist towards Germans, or Chinese. You might love all things American (or hate them) and hate all things Cuban. The fact that you differentiate at all makes you racist.
A better question to ask would be, how do I act on my prejudices (both good and bad)? My answer to that is that I endeavour to help every person I meet in whatever way I can, to enable them to reach their potential. Of course, I don't succeed. I fail dismally in fact, because in South Africa the need is overwhelming, and if I were to truly try and help every person I met, I would be burnt out and broke. But I try when and how I can. And that has to count for something.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Over my shoulder
Why is it that our culture says the past is behind us? Surely, since 'hindsight' is 20/20, and you can't see behind yourself, our past should actually be in front of us, with us walking blindly backwards into the future??
Whatever the reason, with tomorrow being my birthday, I thought it appropriate to reflect on the past.
We've been home now for nearly 1.5 years. In that time, we have both settled into our respective jobs, and Nellie has settled into nursery. We still aren't living in THE house, but we're getting there. We have accumulated all the various bits of junk from various storage places, and assimilated it into a household. We have acquired pets. We are expecting another child. We are close to settling into a church. I have just about finished my part-time business management course, and LL is taking off.
It all feels... well, I'm not sure how it feels. It just is. But it 'is' in a good way. (It is rather hard to think positively about anything, I admit, when you feel this constant need/ desire to vomit.)
Looking back over the past year in management, I think I've grown a lot. For one thing, I've learnt to relax a bit more, and not to let things stress me out so much. (A good lesson in anyone's books.) I've also learnt a bit more about delegation. Change is always hard, and I take my hat off to my department. My goals are quite different to my predecessor, and they didn't have a voice in appointing me, so they've had rather a lot of change thrown at them. Not to mention having to put up with my inexperience and mistakes along the way. But we've come through it, and I think we're going to be much better off next year.
This year, there were 7 teachers in the department, and we've had 3 different technicians. It has made communication harder, and it has made the work load more difficult, because most people have been working in 3 departments, with 3 different sets of goals. One of the things I've specifically requested for next year is to try and get people to only work in 2 departments at most. We have been able to do this, which means that we are losing several people as they move over completely to another department. I think this will be a good thing, but of course, that remains to be seen.
Doing the business course has been hard work. It has meant one night of lectures per week, plus a study group meeting every Sat afternoon, plus time to complete homework. It's been good, but I will be very pleased when it is over and I can get that time back to myself (or back to my family, actually). I think there are a few things I will take from the course - that leaders must be godly in all they do (in every interaction); a vague understanding of how business finances work; and a strengthened determination not to let my business fail. I'm also hoping that I will have an investor to boot, but I'm not holding my breath - not counting my chickens, and all that.
It struck me that I have been pregnant for 3 out of my last 4 birthdays: 2005, 2006 and 2008. Therefore, it is not surprising that I seem to have got into a habit of not really celebrating in a massive way. It just feels like more effort than I have energy for (which if you know me, and how much I love presents and fuss, you will understand is a pretty big deal). I am determined that this will be the last pregnancy, and therefore the last birthday that goes un-properly celebrated. (Is there such a word??)
Speaking of which, I was thrilled to receive the news last night that Discovery will cover the full costs of my medication for the duration of the pregnancy. Thank God. Really. Once again, I am convinced that God's plans for this child include a live birth and a long life, and that fills me with great hope and joy. It also fills me with great paranoia - because I believed exactly the same thing with Zoe... and fat lot of use it did me then! But somehow, contrary to any logic, I believe that this time will be different. I hope it. I pray it.
Over the past year, Nellie has grown into a lovely little girl, who loves cuddles and tickles, reading stories and watching TV. The terrible twos seem set to continue though, as recent additions to family life include slamming doors and growling at you when she's really, really mad with you. But underneath it all, I see a loving, generous little girl developing. I just hope and pray that we can encourage that side of her nature, rather than the sometimes selfish toddler behaviour we see. She continues to be curious about everyone and everything around her, and can get quite indignant if you aren't able to answer her questions. I see now why parents resort to the 'because I said so' refrain! But she's at the stage of learning that asking 'Why?' can actually be a game, and she's starting to tease us - and it is so incredible to see this new side of her develop. Having children really is a privilege and a joy!
And finally, looking back over the past year with my darling husband, I see many things I wish I could do differently. In the midst of all the change, he has continued to be my rock. His self-less giving has enabled me to focus on the business, my studies and my first year as HoS. How does one put into words the gratitude that goes with such sacrifice? If I have one goal for the coming year, it is to try and give back to him all the time we missed out on together. This year, I want to make him my priority. I couldn't have done and achieved all that I did without his love and support. He truly has been a model of Christ to me this past year.
There have been low points during the past year, but I don't want to dwell on those. There is more than enough negativity in the world. Equally, this year has not been easy - far from it! Apart from grieving Zoe, this has been the toughest year of my life to date. Rather than groan about it though, I want to celebrate, because this past year has also been an incredible one - full of new things to learn, new people to meet, new experiences to have. Coming home has definitely been good for me, and I look forward to another good year, God willing.
So thank you, Lord, for all your blessings this past year. Thank you for everything you have taught me and shown me. Thank you for all the ways you have encouraged me, and challenged me. Thank you for all the ways in which you have brought me incredible joy.
Whatever the reason, with tomorrow being my birthday, I thought it appropriate to reflect on the past.
We've been home now for nearly 1.5 years. In that time, we have both settled into our respective jobs, and Nellie has settled into nursery. We still aren't living in THE house, but we're getting there. We have accumulated all the various bits of junk from various storage places, and assimilated it into a household. We have acquired pets. We are expecting another child. We are close to settling into a church. I have just about finished my part-time business management course, and LL is taking off.
It all feels... well, I'm not sure how it feels. It just is. But it 'is' in a good way. (It is rather hard to think positively about anything, I admit, when you feel this constant need/ desire to vomit.)
Looking back over the past year in management, I think I've grown a lot. For one thing, I've learnt to relax a bit more, and not to let things stress me out so much. (A good lesson in anyone's books.) I've also learnt a bit more about delegation. Change is always hard, and I take my hat off to my department. My goals are quite different to my predecessor, and they didn't have a voice in appointing me, so they've had rather a lot of change thrown at them. Not to mention having to put up with my inexperience and mistakes along the way. But we've come through it, and I think we're going to be much better off next year.
This year, there were 7 teachers in the department, and we've had 3 different technicians. It has made communication harder, and it has made the work load more difficult, because most people have been working in 3 departments, with 3 different sets of goals. One of the things I've specifically requested for next year is to try and get people to only work in 2 departments at most. We have been able to do this, which means that we are losing several people as they move over completely to another department. I think this will be a good thing, but of course, that remains to be seen.
Doing the business course has been hard work. It has meant one night of lectures per week, plus a study group meeting every Sat afternoon, plus time to complete homework. It's been good, but I will be very pleased when it is over and I can get that time back to myself (or back to my family, actually). I think there are a few things I will take from the course - that leaders must be godly in all they do (in every interaction); a vague understanding of how business finances work; and a strengthened determination not to let my business fail. I'm also hoping that I will have an investor to boot, but I'm not holding my breath - not counting my chickens, and all that.
It struck me that I have been pregnant for 3 out of my last 4 birthdays: 2005, 2006 and 2008. Therefore, it is not surprising that I seem to have got into a habit of not really celebrating in a massive way. It just feels like more effort than I have energy for (which if you know me, and how much I love presents and fuss, you will understand is a pretty big deal). I am determined that this will be the last pregnancy, and therefore the last birthday that goes un-properly celebrated. (Is there such a word??)
Speaking of which, I was thrilled to receive the news last night that Discovery will cover the full costs of my medication for the duration of the pregnancy. Thank God. Really. Once again, I am convinced that God's plans for this child include a live birth and a long life, and that fills me with great hope and joy. It also fills me with great paranoia - because I believed exactly the same thing with Zoe... and fat lot of use it did me then! But somehow, contrary to any logic, I believe that this time will be different. I hope it. I pray it.
Over the past year, Nellie has grown into a lovely little girl, who loves cuddles and tickles, reading stories and watching TV. The terrible twos seem set to continue though, as recent additions to family life include slamming doors and growling at you when she's really, really mad with you. But underneath it all, I see a loving, generous little girl developing. I just hope and pray that we can encourage that side of her nature, rather than the sometimes selfish toddler behaviour we see. She continues to be curious about everyone and everything around her, and can get quite indignant if you aren't able to answer her questions. I see now why parents resort to the 'because I said so' refrain! But she's at the stage of learning that asking 'Why?' can actually be a game, and she's starting to tease us - and it is so incredible to see this new side of her develop. Having children really is a privilege and a joy!
And finally, looking back over the past year with my darling husband, I see many things I wish I could do differently. In the midst of all the change, he has continued to be my rock. His self-less giving has enabled me to focus on the business, my studies and my first year as HoS. How does one put into words the gratitude that goes with such sacrifice? If I have one goal for the coming year, it is to try and give back to him all the time we missed out on together. This year, I want to make him my priority. I couldn't have done and achieved all that I did without his love and support. He truly has been a model of Christ to me this past year.
There have been low points during the past year, but I don't want to dwell on those. There is more than enough negativity in the world. Equally, this year has not been easy - far from it! Apart from grieving Zoe, this has been the toughest year of my life to date. Rather than groan about it though, I want to celebrate, because this past year has also been an incredible one - full of new things to learn, new people to meet, new experiences to have. Coming home has definitely been good for me, and I look forward to another good year, God willing.
So thank you, Lord, for all your blessings this past year. Thank you for everything you have taught me and shown me. Thank you for all the ways you have encouraged me, and challenged me. Thank you for all the ways in which you have brought me incredible joy.
Proudly Bok
The good 'ol Bok stays! Yes, SARU and the government have reached agreement that the Springbok can stay - as long as it moves over to make way for the Protea. So from some undetermined time in the future, SA rugby shirts will have two equally sized emblems on them - on the breast pocket the official protea emblem, and on the other side the Bok.
I have to say that I am really pleased at how the two sides managed to reach agreement. I do understand that for tha majority of South Africans the Bok is an apartheid emblem, and thus is a symbol of hatred, oppression and racism. However, the Bok has been the rugby emblem since the year dot, and to lose it now would seem to me to be a tragedy. I know my brother-in-law will vehemently disagree with me, but I must be true to what I love. And I love the Bok. Proudly.
I have to say that I am really pleased at how the two sides managed to reach agreement. I do understand that for tha majority of South Africans the Bok is an apartheid emblem, and thus is a symbol of hatred, oppression and racism. However, the Bok has been the rugby emblem since the year dot, and to lose it now would seem to me to be a tragedy. I know my brother-in-law will vehemently disagree with me, but I must be true to what I love. And I love the Bok. Proudly.
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