Sometimes he whispers...

... and sometimes he yells.

Who can understand the mind of God? Who can fathom why he sometimes chooses to be silent, or to whisper, or to step back, and why, at other times, he chooses to bend down and yell in your ear, to INTERVENE, to make his presence known?

For no reason that I can determine, for the past few days I have had one line from a song running through my head non-stop, on endless repeat.

"My love is unshakable, my love is unbreakable for you."

For the first few hours I thought nothing much of it. You know, it's just that my brain is stuck on this track, so, okay, move on. Hum, hum, yup - still stuck on this track.

Then, suddenly, it smacked me in the face.

This wasn't just a random line from some random song (I still don't know who sings it, and can't find the lyrics to the rest of the song or the mp3 on the web. If you do, please let me know). Nope - this was something else.

This was a message from God, to me, personally, loudly, and repeatedly.

For several hours, I reveled in it. I love knowing that I'm loved. (Who doesn't, right? Unless it's some stalker person... but then, that's not really love, is it?)

But then, I was suddenly brought up short by my suspicious nature. Why would God want me to know this fact, on this particular day, in quite such an 'in your face' kind of way? Was something about to happen when knowing this would be vital? Was someone I loved about to die? Was something about to happen to me? Was I about to get hurt? And needless to say, I then spent a while in a minor state of panic, contemplating all the possible situations in which I would only survive if I was confident of God's love for me.

Thankfully, more than 48hrs later, nothing untoward has happened. (My suspicious mind says it might still happen.... and I shouldn't think I'm in the clear just yet.)

Nope, I think God just wanted to let me know how much he loves me. Not for any particular reason, just because he does, and he can.

When I behave like this to my kids, they also wonder what's up, why I'm suddenly being affectionate, or hugging them - what I want from them. (I wonder who they get this suspicious nature from?) But, they enjoy it. When they ask, I often tell them that I have to get all my hugs and love in now, while I can, before they become teenagers and want to keep a mile from any affectionate touch with their parents (or, God forbid, PDAs!!). Then they usually smile, and give me great big squeezy huggles (not cuddles, not hugs - huggles!) and lots of kisses. I love those moments. I love the smell of my kids, I love their little bodies cuddled up into mine. In fact, I positively adore them.

So why is it so hard for me to believe that if I want to have that with my kids, my heavenly father would want it any less with me? I have so much to learn!

"Unless you become as one of these little ones, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matt 18:3 (paraphrase)

Raising kids in the 21st century

When you have a child, it doesn't come with a manual. There is no 'how to' when it comes to parenting. Most parents muddle through it pretty well - I mean, the vast majority of us are only mildly odd. However, I think parents today have a tougher time than previous generations. (I know that every generation of parents say this, and they're probably right.)

Why? Because between the sexual revolution in the '60s and the advent of technology for the masses (TV, internet, social media, etc) the moral fibre of society has deteriorated while becoming much more easily accessible by children. I'm talking particularly about issues surrounding sex.

Case in point - '50 shades of grey'. There is now a generation of teens (and pre-teens) who have read this book, and think that what it portrays is 'normal' sexual behaviour.

Many would counter and say that this stuff always happened, but was just better hidden. I would counter that to say that while there is no doubt that sexual promiscuity and experimentation amongst children and teens has probably always occurred, the percentage of youth for whom it was 'normal', or the percentage who took part was much, much smaller. I don't have any facts to back it up, just a gut feel.

It's like the argument about having cell phones in class. Yes, children have always passed notes in class. It's just the method that has changed. However, there is truth in the fact that because of the advent of cell phones, it is now much easier to "pass notes" in class than it was previously. It is less noticeable to BBM, or Whatsapp, than it is to lean over and pass a note to the person behind/ in front of you.

As with the issue of cell phones in class, I believe that the way to circumvent the problem regarding sexual behaviour in kids (you can't solve it, I don't think) is to be proactive.

This morning's sermon was about some of the shocking things that Jesus said about sex. It was a brilliant sermon. (The podcast will be up on our church website to download early next week.) However, one of the things that I sparked on was the fact that I am raising a boy and a girl. For each of them, I need to equip them to be able to cope in a world where 'normal' is to adhere to gender stereotypes (boys are 'macho' if they have multiple sexual conquests, girls are 'mature' if they have sex with their boyfriends); to have sex as a pre-teen, or a teen, is acceptable; looking at or watching porn is expected; being celibate or abstaining is 'weird' and 'unhealthy'; where having unprotected sex (as opposed to protected sex) shows how much you love the other person.... The list goes on. Of course, none of this covers the issues of sexually transmitted diseases, HIV, rape (a massive scourge in SA), or other really awful sexual encounters this generation of kids will face.

It is my responsibility to protect my kids while they are small, and to train them as they get older, so that they can ultimately make the right decisions to be able to protect themselves - not just physically, but also morally and spiritually. As I said earlier - there is no manual for raising kids. Every generation of parents has to figure out, in the changing climate and culture, how best to parent their children.

It's a tough job, one that requires constant vigilance. It means that I have to make the most of every opportunity that presents itself to explain and train - no matter how awkward it may be for me. #1 has already asked about masturbation. She has also already walked in on G and I having sex (despite a locked door, I might add!) Raising kids in this climate is not easy. I just pray that I get it right as much as possible - for their sakes.

To all parents who are getting it right most of the time: I salute you! Yours is a sacred entrustment. Strength to you for the journey ahead.
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On a slight tangent, this photo was doing the rounds on Facebook this afternoon. Although it's not directly on this topic, I thought it a fair statement about the sacred role of parenthood. I'm not sure I agree with the 'I hate you' comment, but then, I'm not a parent to a pre-teen or teenager yet! *chuckle*

My best moments

Tonight in the bath, the kids were playing so nicely together. They were fooling around, egging each other on, and laughing hysterically with each other - no hitting, or fighting or yelling, or tears. The two of them together, in a happy mood, had me in stitches. I couldn't help but laugh with them. The joy in their faces, their pleasure in the water and bubbles and a friend to share it all with, their shared exhilaration of doing things right at the edge of what was permissible - it was all a rather heady concoction, for all of us.

It was one of those moments when part of me wished I had my camera to record it for posterity. I was too busy enjoying my kids to get the camera, though. It was my best moment of the day! Some things are too precious to waste a moment of, even to get a camera*.

I'm glad that I chose to revel in the moment, to be with my kids, to enjoy them, and to let them see how much I was enjoying them and being with them. I know it filled up their love tanks a bit. It definitely filled mine.
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* A friend once mentioned to me that we shouldn't need photos to remember places, or people, or events - we should rather spend the time we would have used to take the photo to memorise the scene in our minds. That way, no-one could ever steal or destroy the images. While I get what she was saying, I don't always agree with her sentiments. However, it has made me more aware of trying to remember to be present in every moment I would want to record.

At least 'A' is still 'Apple'

Sticking with the theme of kids' stuff, I thought I'd share an email I received with you. I don't know who started the email chain, or whether it started out as someone sharing a blog they had seen, so I decided to do a little detective work. I found the images on a blog called Witness This. Never the less, I thought it worth sharing with you again.