Sometimes he whispers...

... and sometimes he yells.

Who can understand the mind of God? Who can fathom why he sometimes chooses to be silent, or to whisper, or to step back, and why, at other times, he chooses to bend down and yell in your ear, to INTERVENE, to make his presence known?

For no reason that I can determine, for the past few days I have had one line from a song running through my head non-stop, on endless repeat.

"My love is unshakable, my love is unbreakable for you."

For the first few hours I thought nothing much of it. You know, it's just that my brain is stuck on this track, so, okay, move on. Hum, hum, yup - still stuck on this track.

Then, suddenly, it smacked me in the face.

This wasn't just a random line from some random song (I still don't know who sings it, and can't find the lyrics to the rest of the song or the mp3 on the web. If you do, please let me know). Nope - this was something else.

This was a message from God, to me, personally, loudly, and repeatedly.

For several hours, I reveled in it. I love knowing that I'm loved. (Who doesn't, right? Unless it's some stalker person... but then, that's not really love, is it?)

But then, I was suddenly brought up short by my suspicious nature. Why would God want me to know this fact, on this particular day, in quite such an 'in your face' kind of way? Was something about to happen when knowing this would be vital? Was someone I loved about to die? Was something about to happen to me? Was I about to get hurt? And needless to say, I then spent a while in a minor state of panic, contemplating all the possible situations in which I would only survive if I was confident of God's love for me.

Thankfully, more than 48hrs later, nothing untoward has happened. (My suspicious mind says it might still happen.... and I shouldn't think I'm in the clear just yet.)

Nope, I think God just wanted to let me know how much he loves me. Not for any particular reason, just because he does, and he can.

When I behave like this to my kids, they also wonder what's up, why I'm suddenly being affectionate, or hugging them - what I want from them. (I wonder who they get this suspicious nature from?) But, they enjoy it. When they ask, I often tell them that I have to get all my hugs and love in now, while I can, before they become teenagers and want to keep a mile from any affectionate touch with their parents (or, God forbid, PDAs!!). Then they usually smile, and give me great big squeezy huggles (not cuddles, not hugs - huggles!) and lots of kisses. I love those moments. I love the smell of my kids, I love their little bodies cuddled up into mine. In fact, I positively adore them.

So why is it so hard for me to believe that if I want to have that with my kids, my heavenly father would want it any less with me? I have so much to learn!

"Unless you become as one of these little ones, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matt 18:3 (paraphrase)