Hope for the future

This past week we've seen floods in Durban, and continued drought and fire in Cape Town. Yet, despite all this, I am feeling remarkably positive.

Floods are no laughing matter - not for the people who have lost their lives, or family members; nor for those who have lost their homes or livelihoods. Yet, even in this bleak time, I did find cause to laugh - albeit it ruefully.

With Valedictory over, the matrics are gone, and work gets easier with the additional "free" time every day (time to catch up on admin and planning that I haven't got to yet). However, the fact that school ended early on Thursday meant I had time to come home and cook a roast dinner, with all the trimmings, a cake and a baked pudding. What a fantastic family meal we had! It made it feel like the weekend had started a day early.

Then, over the weekend I had time to do something creative (I started crocheting a new project), work in the garden and get it nearly ready for summer, do some school work (show me a teacher who doesn't do work over a weekend!), spend more time with family, help the kids with homework, catch up on some mending, do 2 loads of laundry, finish my book and relax with the dog. It has been a good weekend! (Of course, I'm still sick, so I really should have spent some time in bed... but who has time for that these days?!)

But that's not why I'm feeling positive either.

It's been a year since I realised that I was suffering from burn-out. It was a year ago that I made some changes in my life, and determined to look after myself a bit better. I resolved to:

spend time, daily, with God

get fit

spend time every week doing something creative

get a better life-work balance going

So how have I done?

Well, I am spending time daily with God. Not enough. (Not nearly enough!) And still not getting to journalling, which I really wanted to do. But at least I'm in the routine again. That's a massive step in the right direction.

Getting fit was always going to be a tough one. I had a hernia which gave me reflux every time I either bend down or crunched my tummy, or lay flat on the floor. So I had an op, which put me out of action for several weeks, which was followed (almost immediately) by glandular flu - which I'm still recovering from. But! I joined a gym closer to home, and (until my op) I was going regularly. Now I just need to get back into the routine (as soon as my energy levels recover and I get over this current cold).

Doing creative stuff has become a much bigger part of my life. I haven't been able to get to it every week, but I have done something creative every month. In reflection, once again I can draw a correlation between the amount of time I spend creatively and my overall sense of well-being. In weeks when I was doing nothing, I began to feel low, depressed and stressed again.

Work-life balance is an on-going struggle - not just for me, but for all of us, I think. I've been much better about it this year, though. I think, mainly, because I've been so ill. When you're in a lot of pain, or can't breathe properly, it's amazing how work seems less important, and other (more important) things take their rightful place. When you only have a set amount of energy to devote to the day, you have to prioritise where you're going to spend it. I've improved at learning to live with the unfinished, the delayed, the deferred and the deleted. It's been a rare night that I've actually done work at home (although I am still in the habit of bringing work home every night, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, I will have the time, energy or inclination to do it). The down side to this is that the quality of my lessons has been poorer this year. I've still had to do work over weekends, I don't think I can ever escape the need to bring work home in this profession! So I'm doing better. Not where I'd like to be, but better.

But none of this is why I'm feeling so positive right now.

I had a conversation with my dad the other day, in which he positively pleaded with us to leave the country and emigrate, anywhere; just to get out of SA before it all falls apart. He admitted that he's thinking seriously about going, because he just has no hope of things even remaining as they are, let alone improving. And in that moment I suddenly realised afresh why it is that I feel so positive.

I have hope.

I have hope because of Jesus.

I have hope because He is.

I have hope because He is hope.

I have hope because He is the hope of South Africa and the world.

The best and safest place to be is in the centre of God's will. If His will puts me in Cape Town, or South Africa, for the rest of my life, then that's the best and safest place to be.

As bleak as things are, and they are - no doubt! But as bleak as they are, I can trust in One who holds the world in His hands, who will provide for me and for my children, who will help us weather any storms that come our way. Does this mean we will have everything we want? No. Does it mean life will be easy? No. Does it mean we will be immune to retrenchments, or hunger? No.

But in the midst of those struggles we will have life, and life in all abundance.

This is the difference that faith in Jesus makes for me. I can look at a world that lies in darkness, where evil flourishes and goodness seems absent, because I have hope for a better future, a glorious future, a heavenly future.

I have hope, because I have Jesus.

Gratitude Day #6

I had to go out in the rain yesterday afternoon, to a meeting. Driving there, the rain was coming down in buckets. (The canal flooded, after only 2 hours of rain, so you must know how much rain came down in those 2 hours!) Driving along, with the windscreen wipers and aircon on, I was toasty warm, and beautifully dry, and I thought of those who live in squatter camps, or informal settlements as they are now called in PC speak.

Driving home again, I observed several streets in my area flooded, and the canal overflowing. I observed (and participated in) people stopping to gawp at the water level. It is incredible. No doubt about it. 

But then I thought again of those living in squatter camps. I thought of those who have no decent roof above their heads and probably have to contend with leaks, and the drip-drip-drip all night, or the sound of rain on a tin roof, keeping them awake for most of the night. I thought of those who live in areas where the "roads" are nothing more than severely pot-holed dirt paths filled with rubbish of all sorts, and how going home, or out, requires walking these "roads", and how during this kind of rain these "roads" become a slow-moving mud river, with goodness knows only what hazards hiding in the mud, or the invisible potholes. I thought of those who only have shared, public toilets and no private sanitation/ bathrooms, and who must navigate these "roads" in order to relieve themselves... at night. I thought of those who have no running water who must navigate these "roads" in order to get water to drink, wash and cook with. I thought of those who have no electricity and live in shacks and who will freeze this weekend (hopefully not literally, although I have no doubt that children and the elderly are at risk of just that this weekend) as the rain and the wind chill their little tin shacks, or creeps through the untreated wooden walls.

I thought of all these people, and I am grateful for being warm and dry tonight, and this weekend.

Stormy times

Once again Cape Town is being lashed by a storm. Our street is already partially under water. Thankfully, this one is not as bad as the last one. However, it seems so appropriate that the weather is so foul...

... the more details I learn about the manner in which my uncle died, the more tragic his death becomes. Had those he had been hiking with not been negligent in their care of him, he might well be alive today - no doubt in a critical condition, with an uncertain future, but alive.

I am so proud of my family; at the faith, courage, strength and wisdom they have shown in the face of this incredible tragedy. It is such an honour to call myself part of this family - and it makes me proud to carry their surname still (I kept my maiden surname when I married - that's another story though).

It still hasn't really hit me. It doesn't seem real to me. I keep thinking that he's going to walk into the room with that infectious smile and laugh of his - the way his whole face used to crinkle up when he smiled... and say "Hello, my girl! Howzit?"

My uncle had a habit of sticking his hands in the top of his pants (trousers) when he was relaxing on the couch and getting sleepy. The family used to tease him mercilessly about it, but he always took it with such grace. My brother, dad and I were joking this afternoon that when we go to the funeral, we're all going to have to sit with our hands in our pants.

Probably my favourite story of my uncle is how, when I was a little baby with terrible colic, he used to let me lie on his chest and I would fit between his chin and his belt. Often, he was the only one who could get me to calm down enough to sleep. The moment I was removed from his chest, I would start crying again, so he would often sit with me like that for hours. (My mother once confessed to me that to get me to stop crying she had, on one occasion, in tremendous desperation, considered throwing me out of the first story window... I'm grateful she didn't!)

Funny how hearing that story used to make me embarrassed, even though I loved it. Now, I'd give anything to hear him tell it again.

If his death has taught me one thing, it is the lesson I thought I had learnt through losing Zoe. Life is precious. Family is precious. Time is fleeting and tomorrow is no guarantee. Please - ring your family today and tell them you love them. They may be gone tomorrow.

Photos galore!

At long last I have had the time to upload the photos of the past two months. Enjoy!

Cape Town has several rivers that run across it. Most have been turned into canals, which has cmopletely destroyed the rivers, but is necessary to protect the houses along the river from flooding. Even then, that sometimes doesn't help - here the river has completely burst its concrete banks and is already flooding the surrounding parking lots and blocks of flats.

Boulders Beach was a great haunt when I was a kid. I used to go swimming there regularly, because it was easy to get into deep water without having to first swim through the waves. A few years back it was discovered by the penguins, and now it's a protected reserve as a result. You can still go swimming from there, but you have to pay to gain entrance. Because of Nellie's recent obsession with all things penguin, we thought an afternoon at Boulders would be fun. We arrive fairly late (after 3pm), but were greeted by penguins and this amazing sky. Definitely worth it!

A fun day at work - staff got to dress up as a literary/ film character in aid of English Focus Week. So of course, Pippie Langkous and Princess Fiona had to make an appearance.