Floods are no laughing matter - not for the people who have lost their lives, or family members; nor for those who have lost their homes or livelihoods. Yet, even in this bleak time, I did find cause to laugh - albeit it ruefully.
With Valedictory over, the matrics are gone, and work gets easier with the additional "free" time every day (time to catch up on admin and planning that I haven't got to yet). However, the fact that school ended early on Thursday meant I had time to come home and cook a roast dinner, with all the trimmings, a cake and a baked pudding. What a fantastic family meal we had! It made it feel like the weekend had started a day early.
Then, over the weekend I had time to do something creative (I started crocheting a new project), work in the garden and get it nearly ready for summer, do some school work (show me a teacher who doesn't do work over a weekend!), spend more time with family, help the kids with homework, catch up on some mending, do 2 loads of laundry, finish my book and relax with the dog. It has been a good weekend! (Of course, I'm still sick, so I really should have spent some time in bed... but who has time for that these days?!)
But that's not why I'm feeling positive either.
It's been a year since I realised that I was suffering from burn-out. It was a year ago that I made some changes in my life, and determined to look after myself a bit better. I resolved to:
spend time, daily, with God
get fit
spend time every week doing something creative
get a better life-work balance going
So how have I done?
Well, I am spending time daily with God. Not enough. (Not nearly enough!) And still not getting to journalling, which I really wanted to do. But at least I'm in the routine again. That's a massive step in the right direction.
Getting fit was always going to be a tough one. I had a hernia which gave me reflux every time I either bend down or crunched my tummy, or lay flat on the floor. So I had an op, which put me out of action for several weeks, which was followed (almost immediately) by glandular flu - which I'm still recovering from. But! I joined a gym closer to home, and (until my op) I was going regularly. Now I just need to get back into the routine (as soon as my energy levels recover and I get over this current cold).
Doing creative stuff has become a much bigger part of my life. I haven't been able to get to it every week, but I have done something creative every month. In reflection, once again I can draw a correlation between the amount of time I spend creatively and my overall sense of well-being. In weeks when I was doing nothing, I began to feel low, depressed and stressed again.
Work-life balance is an on-going struggle - not just for me, but for all of us, I think. I've been much better about it this year, though. I think, mainly, because I've been so ill. When you're in a lot of pain, or can't breathe properly, it's amazing how work seems less important, and other (more important) things take their rightful place. When you only have a set amount of energy to devote to the day, you have to prioritise where you're going to spend it. I've improved at learning to live with the unfinished, the delayed, the deferred and the deleted. It's been a rare night that I've actually done work at home (although I am still in the habit of bringing work home every night, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, I will have the time, energy or inclination to do it). The down side to this is that the quality of my lessons has been poorer this year. I've still had to do work over weekends, I don't think I can ever escape the need to bring work home in this profession! So I'm doing better. Not where I'd like to be, but better.
But none of this is why I'm feeling so positive right now.
I had a conversation with my dad the other day, in which he positively pleaded with us to leave the country and emigrate, anywhere; just to get out of SA before it all falls apart. He admitted that he's thinking seriously about going, because he just has no hope of things even remaining as they are, let alone improving. And in that moment I suddenly realised afresh why it is that I feel so positive.
I have hope.
I have hope because of Jesus.
I have hope because He is.
I have hope because He is hope.
I have hope because He is the hope of South Africa and the world.
The best and safest place to be is in the centre of God's will. If His will puts me in Cape Town, or South Africa, for the rest of my life, then that's the best and safest place to be.
As bleak as things are, and they are - no doubt! But as bleak as they are, I can trust in One who holds the world in His hands, who will provide for me and for my children, who will help us weather any storms that come our way. Does this mean we will have everything we want? No. Does it mean life will be easy? No. Does it mean we will be immune to retrenchments, or hunger? No.
But in the midst of those struggles we will have life, and life in all abundance.
This is the difference that faith in Jesus makes for me. I can look at a world that lies in darkness, where evil flourishes and goodness seems absent, because I have hope for a better future, a glorious future, a heavenly future.
I have hope, because I have Jesus.
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