Scrumping

For those of you who enjoy watching or playing rugby I thought I'd better introduce you to the latest set piece. It's called scrumping. You'd better practice this one, because it's going to become a crucial part of all games in the near future.

The scrump is a lot like the traditional scrum, with a few crucial differences. Firstly, the weights on each side should not be equal. In fact, the more unequal you can get them, the better. It works best when you have one heavy person (between 80-100kg) on one side and two very small people (each around 12 kg) on the other. The second major difference is that in order to scrump you have to be giggling. The giggling ensures that the scrump collapses on the side of the heavy person. In scrumping, collapsing the scrump is legal. In fact, collapsing the scrump is the desired outcome, since it immediately confers 2 points on the part of the non-collapsing scrump.

If only the Boks had put the scrump into action I'm sure they would have won both of the games they've just lost and guaranteed that they would have remained the top team in the world.