At the time, I was stumped. I love my baby girl dearly, but I struggled to find anything I thought she could do well. She was (and still is) behind all her peers in most things (whether because of being summer-born and so the youngest in her class, or whether because of her prematurity she's still playing catch-up I don't know). Her muscle laxity means that she also struggles with all physical activities - her balance, her hand-eye co-ordination, etc, etc. Because she struggles with physical things, she doesn't enjoy them much, so prefers to sit and do puzzles or have books read to her. At the time, the only thing I could come up with was that she's good at puzzles.
I was so despondent that I couldn't brag about my baby girl or what she's capable of. Either it meant that she is below average, or that I'm a rubbish mother because I can't celebrate her achievements irrespective of how she's doing in comparison to others. I believe it's the latter.
Then, as Nathan has grown, I've seen his character developing and he has a gift for joy. Of course, this doesn't surprise me too much because we prayed it into him and blessed him with it at his birth and dedication. His name was chosen because of the character that goes with the name (and yes, I do believe that the name you choose is spiritually significant). It's obvious to see what his gift is, what I can brag about as far as he is concerned. Nellie, though, is a different kettle of fish.
A while back, I pondered here what her gift could be, and surmised that it was a sensitive spirit. I've thought a lot over the therapist's question since Sep/ Oct last year and what I can brag about as far as Nellie is concerned. Every child needs a champion, someone who sees his or her potential. A parent's job is, amongst other things, to be their child's champion. I want to be Nellie's champion. I want to be able to list off a bunch of things that I can brag about for her - from her character to her achievements to her gifts. This is something I'm generally bad at - for all my gift for teaching. I'm often bad at seeing things that are either right in front of my face or that are partially hidden (as the diamond-in-the-rough often is). It doesn't bother me too much when it comes to others, but it's really bugging me when it's my first-born.
This evening, after we'd finished our bed-time routine, I was sitting in the semi-dark, stroking her hair and silently praying over her, reflecting again on the therapist's question when it struck me just how far she's come in just over 6 months. It struck me that it seems like I suddenly have a bunch of things I can brag about as far as Nellie is concerned. I'm not sure whether she's had a sudden developmental spurt, or whether I'm just more attentive to the things she is now able to do, or both. Whatever the reason, I'm thrilled to be able to brag. So here goes...
Nellie is (in no particular order)...
- one of the most proficient kids in her nursery at the monkey bars. This is HUGE given that a) she's the youngest in her class and b) has muscle laxity.
- able to balance perfectly on her pedal-less bike for long stretches of road - and can steer herself safely down dirt roads from the tops of hills. She's discovered the joy of going "WHEEEEEE" down slopes. She's also learnt how to brake using her feet, since her bike doesn't have brakes. For a girl who doesn't really like physical stuff, this is pretty big.
- brilliant at making Nathan laugh. Not only does he love it, but she loves it too! This is incredibly useful in the car if we're travelling long distances.
- still a fabulous puzzler.
- starting to understand maths. I kid you not. She's not yet 5 and is learning how to add.
- still passionate about reading stories and can now identify all her letters.
- able to colour in and mostly stay within the lines.
- incredibly observant about the world around her, often spotting things and making connections between things she sees that I miss.
- very aware of right and wrong with a strong ethical/ moral opinion that often puts Graeme or I on the spot for having double standards.
- a comic, frequently (and deliberately) teasing those she's comfortable with.
- the person to go to if you want the best squeezy cuddle in the universe (even better than Graeme, who gives the second best hug in the universe).
- an elephant - she has a remarkable memory (well, I think it's remarkable that a 4 yr old is able to recall some of the things she does. My earliest memory of anything is from when I was 4, but she remembers things from before she was 4, plus she remembers little things from months prior that I only recall when she reminds me about them.)
- becoming popular - she has two friends at nursery that seem to be battling it out to win her affection and attention as their BFF. (As one of the not-so-popular people at school, this is huge for me as her parent. I hope that she never battles to make and keep good friends, as I have.)
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