Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Once in a blue moon

We had a partial solar eclipse yesterday - 65% in Cape Town. Apparently, the next one we will be able to see in SA will be in several years' time. I took the liberty of taking my class outside to see it - I thought it would be educational (and it was). It got me thinking though, about blue moons (a blue moon occurs when you have two full moons in the same calendar month), the frequency of events (or infrequency, in some cases) and the cyclical nature of life.

I've had one full week of work (although not one full week of lessons) and already my life feels so frenetic I feel like I've lost all control. My to-do list at work is longer than I think I will ever have time to complete. All other chores and tasks have been relegated to weekends (which is a problem when there are business things to take care of... like going to the bank to open & close accounts).

This evening, despite being exhausted and sore and having feet that were cramping so badly I could barely stand, I made supper. (Graeme has a tummy bug again, possibly food poisoning this time.) In the process, I discovered a nest of cockroaches behind the stove. If you know anything about me, you will know I have an intense dislike of these creatures, one that borders closely on pathological or phobia status. So while tackling the meal, I was also tackling the beasts.

Then, while sitting eating at the kitchen table (in order to keep an eye on the beasts' nest) I saw a weevil climbing on the cupboard. I had seen one last week, and asked the maid to check out the pantry cupboard and deal with it. Clearly, this had not been done. So after the meal, I hunted weevils... and was incredibly successful in the hunt - 3 packets of lentils had to be jettisoned, but I think I got them all.

Then I noticed that the laundry had blown off the line and was all over the lawn. So I went to pick that up (although why the maid hadn't brought it in I don't know....) only to notice that Baggins had once again dug several holes in my garden.

So, the first time I got to sit down this evening was at 8.30pm, when I had my injection.

The really sad thing is that it feels like every day since I went back to work has been this frenetic. I spend every free period stumbling from one crisis to another. Break times are spent dealing with pupils who want to change classes (I'm head of subject) or who have questions about the Science Fair in 3 weeks' time or managing the trainee teacher (who is also an exchange student) or sorting out some other minor crisis (like the lack of gas in my lab, or photocopying that I need for the next lesson). The fact that I haven't skipped a meal yet is something I am very proud of! Lesson times are hectic because I haven't had time to prepare properly, so I feel like I'm stumbling in the dark most of the time, while trying to maintain discipline and learn names. Then, at home, we've been having minor crises of all sorts (mostly financial) - plus Nellie has stopped having her afternoon nap, so is usually in a FOUL mood come bath/ bed time and requires Mommy's attention (yup, I'm flavour of the month again).

This year was supposed to be different. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be calmer, less frenetic, less manic. Or at least, I was supposed to be able to be more relaxed about it all, so that I could take it all in my stride.

Is this just the cyclical nature of school - that the first few weeks really are this crazy and that things really will calm down in a week or so? When I look at my diary for the weeks ahead, I don't see it calming down at all. Am I really that unable at effective time management? or am I just too much of a perfectionist? It doesn't feel like there is anything I can delegate - they're all head of subject or head of chess or personal planning things, which are all my responsibility. I honestly feel that I don't have the hours I need to manage my work, let alone have time or energy for my family, my friends, myself, and my business.

Maybe the fact that I'm not sleeping well is another contributing factor. I know that when I'm tired, I get ratty and things seem far worse than they really are. Sigh! I wish there was an easy answer to life. I wish that ordinary life was as predictable as the passage of the planets around the sun, as predictable as the next date for an eclipse visible in Cape Town.... It may be boring, but boring is manageable, and right now manageable is what I need.

PS. A colleague took a great pic of the eclipse. You can see it here.

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