Being an adult

I am feeling more and more like a grown-up as the months and years roll by. This week, I've taken 2 more steps towards being my mother:

1) I (we) have employed staff;
2) I (we) are starting building works on our house.

These are things that only adults do.

Of course, I have a child. I have a job. I have a mortgage. Yet, in many respects, I still feel like I'm playing at being an adult. I still need my mom and dad to help me, to guide me, to comfort me, to rescue me. There are many times I still feel lost in this world of adult stuff. (Like tax?!?!? No clue! Don't ask me!)

But this week we took on a full time domestic worker (maid) and a gardener who comes twice a month. I feel so grown up!

Of course, with this growing up comes the attendant responsibility. And wouldn't you know it... we're up the creek without a paddle. Yup, somewhere we didn't do our sums properly. We're going to be living off the bond for the next year or so. Shucks!! But needs must.

I wanted this particularly wonderful woman (Priscilla) as the nanny for the baby and childminder for Janel when she starts pre-primary (so is only doing half days). I didn't want anyone else to grab her, and the only way to avoid that was to employ her ourselves. Paying her works out cheaper (by a third) than employing a cleaner twice a week and paying for the baby to go into a creche. How do you put a price on not having your child in a creche where they are exposed not only to the germs of hoards of other kids, but will not get the individual attention they would at home? How do you put a price on training someone up to do things EXACTLY as you would like them done (which will never happen in a creche situation)? Plus there's another added benefit that your baby is secure and familiar with home surroundings and will have the same care giver for several years (rather than changing care giver every year as they change classes). How do you put a price on these things? No, I think we've scored here... in the long run at least.

But in the short term, well, I guess we will have to just bite the bullet.

And the building works... well, if you could see our little box of a home (the one we bought while we were in the UK), you would understand. You cannot raise a young family and run a business out of those premises. OK, well maybe you could, especially when you see what people are putting up with in informal settlements. However, I know that I am not good in confined spaces. It was one of my biggest struggles in the UK. Most of the places we lived in had teeny, tiny little rooms where if you stretched out your arms you would probably be able to touch opposite walls, or very nearly. Confined living spaces make me cranky, moody, irritable and just downright unpleasant to live with. I can't imagine being like that for the next 5-10 years, especially now that we will have 2 kids and 2 dogs, and the business to run.

So all in all, when you see our little box, you will understand why we have felt it necessary to build. Again, this will be a long term gain for a lot of short term pain. The increased mortgage payment will be a killer. (Please God, let the interest rates stay low for a decade or so!) But this too shall pass. God has been so faithful to us in the past where money is concerned. I have no doubt he will continue to be faithful to us in the present, provided we continue to apply the same financial principles we have in the past.

The only 'luxury' as I see it, is the gardener. Quite simply, this isn't my house and I don't have the time to maintain the garden as I should if I were an ordinary tenant. Since my mom is planning to sell the house when we move out, and as the garden is such a huge selling point for the house, I owe it to her to ensure that it's looking as lovely as possible.

I have to say though, I'm really enjoying the fruits of Priscilla and Atwell's labours! I can't begin to explain how much pleasure it gives me to climb into a clean shower every morning, or brush my teeth at a clean sink every morning. Over the years since I left home, I have increasingly learnt to turn a blind eye to dirt - either because we couldn't afford a maid, or because I was too busy to clean, or because I was too tired to clean. But one can't change one's fundamental personality - and mine, I'm afraid, is that of a clean/ neat freak. Everything has a place, and there is a place for everything, and everything must be clean. I don't like dirt - except in special circumstances (like when I'm gardening).

Again, having a baby, and now a toddler, also makes you re-evaluate your policy on dirt. It's impossible to keep a house neat and clean when there are children (or pets) living in it. Simply impossible. So I learnt to turn a blind eye.

But now! Oh joy! Oh bliss! Now I can return to my natural state because there is someone who can make sure things are just as I like them. I guess that's more like being a child again, than an adult. Hmm.... That's a thought!

Anyway, thus we enter a new phase of adulthood.