Blombos

I still haven't blogged about our holiday. Nellie, Nate & I went away with my family to our holiday house, Blombos. (Graeme went to the Umfolozi Game Reserve with a school trip,) We had a lovely few days there. There were several whales & calves in the bay, just beyond the breakers (in the photo below they were just beyond the swells, but off to the right). It was fantastic being able to watch them at meal times and tea times, from the comfort of the house. They were very active, breaching for quite a while on one day. If I'd had a decent camera that would have captured them at that distance, I would have taken some photos.

As usual, the sunsets were amazing. It feels like you can see from horizon to horizon. The blue of the sky was incredible... you could lose yourself in it when you look straight up - nothing to impede your view of it. That sky has always embodied freedom for me. It was good to breathe in that freedom again; it was like meeting up with a good friend after a long period of separation.

We spent our days playing & sleeping. We went down to the beach one day, went for a walk on the beach another evening, one day it rained so we played indoors. Nellie found a fantastic playmate in her cousin Julia. Nate found several playmates amongst the various adults and children present.

If I say so myself, I coped really well with getting bottles ready with no electricity in the middle of the night (ie no lights, & no microwave) and with having both kids on my own for 4 days. I don't think I would have coped as well though if it hadn't been for Oupa and Ouma who were just amazing in their help and support. We only had one blow-up and that was because Nellie hadn't had her nap so was shattered by the evening. The drive up and down was a lot better than I anticipated, but longer than I hoped given that I had the dogs & kids to feed while en route.

There were several hitches; it wasn't all bliss - one night the dogs decided that 2am would be a good time to start throwing up in the house; Nellie decided that while on holiday would be a good time to suddenly start displaying her sibling jealousy; we had no running water for most of our time there because the well pump was broken; once that was fixed we still had no showers as the gas geysers were broken. However, it was still wonderful to get away for a bit, and wonderful to finally make my first trip back to Blombos since returning to SA. I was trying to remember my last trip, and couldn't. That means it could easily have been before we moved to the UK - 10 years!

I enjoyed spending time with some of my nieces & my nephew. It was really lovely seeing them interact and getting to know them a bit better out of their normal setting. As with my dad, it reminded me that part of the reason we came home was to spend more time with them, and I've been remiss in following that through.

I was shocked at how run-down the place has become, or maybe I just never saw it before because I was having too much fun. The dune is badly eroded, making it awkward to get down onto the beach. There has recently been a storm too, so the high water mark is cluttered with large tree branches (trunks) and other flotsam and jetsam. It meant we had no shortage of fuel for the fires, but it did make it more difficult to actually get to the beach itself, especially when you're carrying a child, two bags, having to hold the hand of another child and have two dogs underfoot!

What was particularly wonderful was spending time with my dad. Although he only lives up the road, I wish I could see more of him. Living with him and my step-mom was awkward (it always is when you live in someone else's space) but it was also incredibly special spending all that time with him. Being with him on holiday reminded me of what I'm missing out on. Ultimately, I guess that's what family holidays are about - reconnecting with your family.

Swinging

Nate had his first swing today. At least I got a photo of that, even if there's no video.

He seemed to enjoy it for a little while, but as he's not accustomed to wind, he wasn't too sure about the breeze from swinging.

4 months

Today Nathan turns 4 months. I honestly don't know how many weeks that is, and couldn't be bothered to work it out either). He continues to grow, fast and furious. Over the past few weeks he has:

• started to find his mouth with other objects (i.e. he's started trying to put things in his mouth - his burp cloth, his dummy, toys)
• started solids (he seems to like yoghurt & butternut ... and HATES baby cereal. Sigh. Well, I'll put that in his milk then.)
• started sleeping less during the day
• become a happy, smiley baby

The only time he cries now is when there is really something wrong (tired, wet nappy, clothes too tight, sore tummy), so his colic finally seems to be all gone. He still has a little trouble with reflux we discovered when we took him off his meds. Thus, he's back on meds, but at a reduced amount so that we can wean him off it. He's reverted to his little squack cry to alert us to the fact that he's hungry, which isn't a cry at all - more a particular type of gurgle. He loves people, being the centre of attention and is very social.

Of course, now that he's approaching his developmental milestones, I'm feeling sad about going back to work and missing them. No doubt, he will turn over/ crawl/ walk/ talk/ etc first for Priscilla and not for us. I don't begrudge her that, I just wish I could be there to share in the moment.

The other thing that I've realised afresh is that with Nellie, we had the video camera out a lot when she was this age, and thus far, I've taken no footage of Nathan. I guess that's the burden of not being the first child.... In my defense though, Grandma had our video camera for the LONGEST time... certainly from long before Nathan was born. The other night he was in the bath and having SUCH a wonderful time (doing the most gorgeous sighs of pleasure) and I wished that I could have recorded it. Anyway, now the camera is back, so hopefully we will get some footage of him before he grows up too much!

My first bubble bath

Not so much fun.

Flower power

Asleep in the pram on our walk at Constantia Nek.

Shucks, Schuster!

No no no no no nooooooooooooooooooo..... see what happens when you open a can of worms? They all crawl out. Yup. All over you. In a bloody mess.

Just got an email from our ward councillor to say that:

NO walls or fences are allowed ANYWHERE in our street.

Ooops.

The neighbours are really going to hate me now.

Down the rabbit hole: Lessons in life

The saga of our fence continues. I've finally decided that it's time to tell you about it.

After we bought the house, and before we moved in, our house was burgled 3 times in 3 years. This is mainly because the house is at the end of the row, so is more accessible. Despite our 6ft wall around the back of the development, people hop over the fence and use our road as a shortcut to get to Langa station, because the only entrances and exits to Pinelands are on Forest Drive, which is miles away. One of their favourite spots for hopping the wall is right next to our back fence. (You have to give them credit for ingenuity though - they use an earthing wire to pull themselves up and over - a bit like spiderman...)

Understandably then, I was very nervous about moving into the house. In order to increase our security we put up a palisade fence around the front of the house. What we didn't do though, was follow the plans. (Lesson #1: Read the plans/ instruction manual FIRST. Seriously. It may save you heartache and money. Don't be so bloody male about everything and dive in head first.)

We put the fence up right on the kerb. (Let's be clear about this - G had NOTHING to do with this decision. I accept full responsibility for the fence's position.) Our street boundary is about 4.5m or 5m from the kerb, at the edge of our garage. Given how easy it is to break through our garage door (which would give easy access to the house), I didn't want to make it easy for that to happen. I wanted to be able to work in the garage, with the garage door open, but still be safe and secure. I also wanted to be able to park both cars behind a security fence. Neither of those things are possible if you put the fence on the boundary. (And with a baby in the house, security is really important to me... and of course, there's the fact that I'm a woman, and my maid is a woman, and rape really isn't a pleasant experience for women.)

In addition, I don't want people walking across my driveway to go around the corner and hop over the development wall. We already have a problem with vagrants sleeping against our garage wall and leaving their faeces and rubbish behind (my dogs love it, but me? not so much). I didn't want them to be able to use my driveway as well (here lies MY boundary).

Someone complained about our fence. I'm fairly sure I know who it is (I know who you are and I know where you live!), because in the first few months of us being here (starting during our renovation works before we actually moved in) we had several complaints. If I'm right, this person just likes to complain about everything and is a general neighbourhood nuisance. (Shame on you!) (Lesson #2: Neighbours in a small neighbourhood know EVERYTHING. "We, Toys, see EVERYTHING.")

However, the complaint did make a valid point that I didn't consider when we erected the fence: being on the kerb means drivers have to slow down as they go around the blind corner. (Of course, drivers should be slowing down anyway, but some don't.) If two cars were to pass each other in front of our house (which is RIGHT on the corner), and one was to veer past the mid-line (as happens when you don't slow down around a blind corner), then the other car would bash its side view mirror on our fence if it tried to veer out of the way. (Lesson #3: Don't be so bloodyminded all the time, Woman - ask others for advice before making major decisions, because maybe they know or can see a side to something you can't or haven't.)

In retrospect, I should have put the fence 50cm from the kerb to avoid that problem. (Lesson #4: I can actually admit when I've made a mistake. Even if it takes me several months to get there. Eventually, I'll admit it.) If I had, then whoever complained probably never would have. Maybe. Anyway!

As a result of the complaint, we received a visit from the council, who immediately sent us a demand letter giving us 10 days to move our fence. The threat was that if we didn't, they would, and they'd bill us for it. I duly wrote to them to explain why the fence was where it is. I explained that I would be happy to move the fence back by 50cm or so, but I was not happy to move it back to the boundary, for the reasons I've outlined above. I also said that I didn't have the money to move the fence at the moment, and that if they did it and billed us, we would not be able to pay them either.

The council replied to say, in effect, "tough". (Lesson #5: The council doesn't care. Ever.)

We then looked at leasing a portion of the verge, but it will cost us R5000 to apply, several months to process, and there is no guarantee our application will be successful. (The monthly fee is quite small, so it would be feasible from that perspective.) R5000 is a lot of money to just throw away like that if the application is unsuccessful. Plus, in the meantime, we would still have to move the fence back to our boundary and then move it forwards again if our application was successful. (Talk about a las... I really should just have put the fence 50cm from the kerb.) (Lesson #6: see Lesson #1)

Off I went then, to double check with the council that the street boundary was where it appears on the plan, because 5m is a LOT further from the kerb than is normal (2.5m - 3m is usual). That investigation was delayed while the council tried to find their copies of our plans (our copies went missing during the kitchen renovation). After several days, the plans arrived. I scrutinised them and discovered that (shock! horror!) either everyone else also has their fences in illegal positions, or the plans are wrong. (Lesson #7: Even bad stuff can have a positive spin off...)

So today I went back to the council, with my dearest dad in tow (as he's a surveyor by trade) to help me. (Let me play the dumb blonde!) (Lesson #8: Parents never stop being needed. Children are a responsibility for LIFE. Like a life sentence, but longer, more complicated and more expensive.) What we discovered is that Field Close is, almost certainly, a private road (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF?!?!) (Lesson #9: Expect the unexpected), but that the legalities of setting up the Home Owners' Association were never followed through on. While the legal bungle is fine by me (HOAs are always a pain), what that means is that - if we're right and the road is a private one - we don't have to move the fence!!! (Lesson #10: Council screw up a lot. If you catch them at it, you can save your ass.)

Hooray!!

Of course, if our street IS private, then that means we own the council money anyway, for back taxes for rates on the verges which we (and they!) didn't know we owned. And that could work out to be quite a hefty sum. Boo! (Lesson # 11: Council always get their pound of flesh, one way or the other.)

If our street is private, then I think we'll go ahead and move the fence back 50cm anyway, to appease our neighbours. I can live with 50cm - it means we can still park a 2nd car behind the gate and it means I can work in the garage with the door open and not feel at risk, but it still keeps the vagrants and their mess off my driveway. And if it keeps Old Complainer off our backs, then that's not a bad thing either.

So now the ball is in the council's court again. It'll be interesting to see how they respond. Of course, it may be that our street isn't private after all (in which case, the council plans of our suburb are wrong!). But until the matter is resolved, the fence stays where it is. (Lesson #12: Perseverance wins the day.)