Sunday, April 28, 2013

Things my son has taught me

You know that site "Reasons my son is crying"? I love it! Love it! This morning, while Nathan was crying, I thought of it again.

Why was he crying? Sadly, for a reason not half as entertaining as the ones on that site. No, sadly, he had been rather naughty and was on a time out. He didn't want to be on a time out, and was (rather vociferously)  informing the rest of the world about it.

With both of us being ill at the moment, it is tempting to let the kids run riot, but when we do, it always comes back to bite us. So, bravely, G had dealt with the issue and put Nathan on a time out. I was lying in bed, head spinning and sore, when the thought occurred to me: I wish there was a way to discipline the kids that didn't also hurt us.

Discipline is costly - every time I have to enforce boundaries with the kids, it costs me. It costs not just in energy, but in love. It hurts me to have to listen to my kids crying because they genuinely feel aggrieved by something - to hear them sob their little hearts out. But I do it because I love them, because I know that in the long run, it is better for them to learn the lesson now: they are not the centre of the world; they are part of a community and must learn to live lovingingly and peaceably in it; they can't always get what they want.

Failing to teach them these lessons will cause them untold harm in the real world. So we have to enforce the boundaries. Yet, it breaks my heart to see them in pain - even knowing that their pain is temporary and necessary.

In addition, it hurts me because it means the kids aren't listening to me, they aren't being obedient, they aren't being respectful.

And then it struck me - God is a parent. God disciplines his children. When he does, so often we focus on the pain we are feeling, and we forget that any discipline costs the parent too. Any discipline hurts the parent too, and how much more it must hurt the Ultimate Parent. Every time we sin, and it costs God. In fact, it cost him his life, ultimately. Instead of us having to go on the mother of all time-outs, he allowed himself to be tortured to death.

Even now though, when God needs to discipline me, it continues to cost him - in love.

And this is yet one more reason why I love my kids, why I am so grateful they are in my life, why they truly are a blessing from God - because in being their parent, I am taught lessons about God my father, and about being a child.

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