Boundaries

I was going to blog about something that happened at work today...

In the past I have said that this is my blog, written for me and me alone. It is my journal, my diary. Therefore, I write what I want, when I want (time & activity permitting) and how I want.

But today, I find that I can't write what I want.

Today I find that the boundary between work life and private life is too blurred.

My loyalty to my workplace means that if I write what I want to it may bring disrepute to the school, to the others who work and study there.

And if I am to be a role model to my students, I have to set the example. I tell them to be careful of what they put out there, because it cannot be deleted once it's out there. Oh, the post may be 'deleted', but if someone wants to find it, they will, and can, because Google never deletes anything entirely.

So today, I find myself hamstrung - am I true to myself and write what is on my heart, knowing that it will hurt others? Do I unburden my soul in one of the few ways I feel I can express myself?

Or do I hold back, bottle this experience, these emotions, in order to save others from potential embarrassment or worse?

Something an acquaintance said to me recently sticks with me... you have to have the same integrity no matter who you are with. You can't be one person in one place, and a different person somewhere else.

I know that occasionally my students (or colleagues, or other work-related acquaintances  will Google me, find me, and read this blog. As hard as I try to keep my private and work life separate, I am one person, with one life.

Boundaries. Usually having boundaries is good. Sometimes it's not. As hard as it is to keep silent, to hold my tongue, this time around I'm going to break my own rule, because there can't be a boundary this time - not if I am to keep my personal integrity.