What to do...?

When I was a teenager, I went through a bit of a depression. Maybe all teenagers do. Maybe it's just the teen angst thing. In my case, I think it was a bit more than that. I can remember reading a book about someone who felt completely disconnected from life, and wanting to kill themselves (the book is called 'Please Love Me', and thinking - 'I get this person; they're writing the story of my life'. I felt such a connection to this person. It was so much deeper than anything I with for any of my friends at the time. It was so healing to know that I wasn't the first to have felt that way, or who had these screams bottled up inside, with no way of expressing them.

In looking back on my life, I understand that much of my pain was repressed emotion over my parents' divorce. It was probably compounded, or exacerbated, by teenage angst. At the time though, I was convinced that no-one understood me, that my life was worthless, that there was no point in going on. I contemplated suicide several times, and on the night in which I plucked up the courage to do something, found myself miraculously unable to. God stepped in and intervened in way that made it ABUNDANTLY clear to me that a) he cared, and b) he had a plan for my life. It was enough for me to hang on to at the time, to get me through.

Yet, looking back now, I really do wonder how much of it was just in my head and how much was real. I have a tendency to exaggerate things for effect. I also have a tendency to lie to myself, or I did - I think I'm much better at not fooling myself anymore, at being honest with myself, than I used to be. The older I get, the more I think that the majority of it was in my head, that it was just typical teenage angst, and that only a small part of it was linked to the events taking place in my life at the time.

As a result, my experiences have made me wary of the same emotion in the teenagers I teach. When I see them  deep in sorrow over whatever it is in their lives, a large part of me wonders whether it's just all in their heads, whether it's just part of being a teenager and whether they'll get over it eventually. If it is, then whether I intervene or not is immaterial. I know that people tried to help me, and I fobbed them off. I wanted my privacy. I wanted to wallow in my pain and suffering - Oh, WOE is me! - because I felt it gave meaning to my life, and made me unique. No-one could surely be suffering as I was!

But what if I'm wrong. What if my pain was not just typical teenage angst? What if the pain I see around me will only be healed if I step in and do something? And what if I fail to do so? I hate meddling. I hate people who meddle. In fact, DH will often comment how I have a knack for answering questions in a way that divulges nothing, but still manages to answer the question. I do that because there are some things that I just don't want to talk about. Like who I was just chatting to on the phone, or who I'm emailing. If I want you to know, I'll tell you. Now back away!

(Then again, there are times when I get mad because he doesn't ask.... Never can please a woman, eh?! Doomed if you do, doomed if you don't.)

Because I like my privacy when I choose to keep it, I am wary of making the first move when it comes to asking the awkward questions of others. Yet I recognise that not everyone is like me. For others, the only way they can express what's going on inside them is if I give them the words, or the opening. So, for some people, if I fail to enquire, they interpret that as unloving.

So all of that is background info.

This past week, I have been made aware of two girls who, unrelated to each other, and for different reasons, are cutting themselves. I don't know how to respond on a personal level. I've reported it, of course, because I am legally (and morally) obliged to do so. But how do I respond?

On the "do nothing" front:

• I'm not a professional - I don't want to get into a counselling situation. 
• I also don't want them tough tell me anything because I could get into serious (legal) trouble later, depending on what comes out and what I did/ did not do as a result. 
• I don't want to meddle.
• Teenagers often value their privacy and don't want to be treated any differently just "because" they have a problem.

On the "do something" front, I have the following points:

• I care about these kids.
• I want them to know I care and feel cared for.
• Ignoring what I know, and doing/ saying NOTHING could send the message that I don't care, or that  they really aren't important enough to take action over.
• If "meddling" potentially saves their lives, it's worth it.

Do I call them to come and see me? Do I try to have a quiet word before/ during/ after lesson one day? Do I just pray for them and nothing more? (As I said, I've already reported it, and they're getting some level of professional help, so it's not like they're not getting any help!) I just don't know.

Knowing me, I will ignore it completely during class, hoping and trusting that whatever is being done professionally will be enough, but will be more encouraging and supportive and caring in my general behaviour towards these kids. Is that enough though? I don't know. I just don't know.