So, no easing into this slowly, then.
What do I hate about myself? .......
No. You know what? I'm not ready to tell you the truth right now. So, I think I'm going to go with a lesser evil; something that's not quite so painful to discuss right now.
Let me tell you about my knees. I know, weird, huh? Usually it's bums, tums or breasts. (I'm not saying I don't have issues with any of those, cos I do, but that's old news.)
Because of my blood condition (at least, that's what I think caused it) I have permanent bruise marks on my knees that I think look very ugly. I've thought seriously about going for laser surgery to have them dealt with, or doing some home skin bleaching.... But between being too much of a coward to try the bleaching, too busy to make the time to go and see a plastic surgeon, and not having the money to cover something this inessential for life, I've done nothing about it.
But doing nothing about it is par for the course for me. Somehow, despite being as self-absorbed as I am, the time I spend on myself is seldom spent on my appearance.
So I continue to hate my knees. Which is rather a bummer when it's summer because I feel self conscious about wearing shorts or skirts that end above the knee.
Isn't it odd to think that EVERY woman, every girl, even the confident ones, have an intense dislike about some part of themselves? I know that this hate of mine affects the way I dress, the activities I take part in (as a result of the way I feel comfortable dressing), where I choose to sit in a room, etc, etc, etc. Even though this is such a minor thing, it really does affect me.
Some days are better than others, and I'm able to accept myself as I am, or (even better in my mind) I am completely unaware of how my knees look. Others are terrible and I don't want to get out of the shower and face the world.
Wouldn't it be nice if nobody spent time and energy noticing what others look like?
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