Thursday, September 16, 2010

Swallowed and spat out

Here comes the stuck record... can you believe it's been nearly A MONTH since I last blogged. Actually, I can. I don't really want to rehash the last month, but it has been incredibly stressful and busy.

Between the regional Expo, matric exams, TONS (I swear, I must have been at least a ton) of other marking, reports, budgets to prepare, matric testimonials, and random other admin type of things, Nathan has had yet MORE antibiotics for his ongoing ear infection, my mother moved house, our nanny had another death in the family (so took a trip off to the E. Cape again), both G and I have been ill, and there were 100 other things on the go.

Quite honestly, I am whacked. I'm falling asleep during assemblies and when I'm meant to be praying with Janel. Because I'm tired, I'm turning into a horrible person who yells a lot, and I'm having to think REALLY hard before I say or type anything because there's very little internal moderation occurring between what I really think and what I'm saying - which is getting me into trouble - like when I nearly swore at my matrics today. (That's another story. Those ungrateful little .... breathe. breathe. breathe.)

Sadly, I'm not going to be able to rest much during the holidays, because I'm single parenting while G is away for the first bit, then I'm away on a school trip for the last bit. What I'm craving more than anything at the moment is a few days away in the bush, or at the beach, or up the mountain, with no phones, no children and no responsibilities, but with lots of books, silence and walks in nature - I am craving solitude.

Until Nathan's ears are fixed though, and until he's sleeping through the night, I don't feel I can offload both him AND Nellie on anyone. So somehow I'm going to have to create minute spaces of solitude for myself over the next little while or I will seriously burn out before the end of the year.

The update on Nathan is that we're seeing the ENT next week to discuss grommets. I'm sure that he has permanent scarring from the pretty much constant ear infection he's had since May, but we'll see what the specialist says.

The update on Nellie is that we've taken her for further evaluation. She doesn't have low muscle tone, which is good news. She does, however, have balance issues which we're going to investigate further. And she's definitely a low stimulus child (which we already knew). So now we have a new regime to help her - daily trampolining and a return to frequent body brushing, as well as semi-regular bouts of OT to help develop her vestibular apparatus and proprioreceptors. All this is relatively good news, because it's stuff that we can do something about with resorting to chemicals.

But, again, I must confess that I have been left feeling swallowed by life, and then spat out again. I know that part of it is just the usual end of term symptoms, and that things are going to get easier any day now, that I'm just emotionally strung out. None of that changes the fact though that I feel utterly, utterly worn out.

It was with great relief that I found myself laughing this evening. If I can still laugh at life, then things can't be all that bad, right? So what made me chuckle? This joke:

What's the oldest profession?

Traffic cop. In Genesis 3:4 it says "and there was an evil spirit lurking behind the bush".
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