Sunday, June 06, 2010

Matric Dance #8

I teach 2 matric classes and I've taught some of these kids for 3 years now - they were in Gd 10 when I started teaching at the school, so I've taken them through their entire LS course. Both classes are very dear to my heart in many ways, and so the matric dance this year was a really big deal for me - so much so that I went to the effort of buying a new evening dress (ball gown, except not quite matric dance style... after all, it's not my dance!) and accessories. (Plus, last year I was post-preggy, so wasn't feeling at all glam, so I promised myself I'd be glam this year.)

This photo isn't the greatest shot of it (or me) but it was the best we could do in the limited time and lighting we had available.
I had an absolute blast! Not having Graeme there was not so great - I had no-one special to dance with for my favourite songs - but it did mean that I didn't have to worry about rushing home to relieve babysitters, so I got to dance to my heart's content. Which I did. In heels. Till my feet felt raw and it was almost torture to walk back to the car. At midnight. It was bliss.

Most of the staff had a blast. We recalled how stressful our own dances had been and how, having no expectations now, we were better able to just enjoy the evening. The DJ was fabulous. The food was great. The company was just the best. The only thing that would have made this evening perfect for me was having my man along to dance with. But other than that, this was a perfect evening out.

But it marks an ending. These kids who are so dear to my heart are nearly all grown up now (and boy did some of them look adult in their get-up!). I found myself worrying about who would get drunk or take drugs or get themselves (or someone else) killed... about who would have sex and who might fall pregnant. I wanted to wrap them up and take them home with me, not let them get hurt. I found myself wandering around, telling them to have fun, but not to get drunk, and to be safe. It made me feel so old. I guess that's what being a parent is about. You find yourself having parental feelings towards all kids, irrespective of whether they're yours or not.

In SA, the traditional culture takes a similar tack on the rearing of children - children belong to everyone, not just their parents. Thus, if someone sees a child misbehaving or getting into trouble, they take responsibility and intervene. Not because they're being busybodies, but because that's what being part of a community is about. I love it. I wish that we would all take responsibility like that.

Sadly, many of our parents are not decent parents. That might be because THEIR parents never taught them basic life skills, values and responsibilities, so they have been unable to pass on to their kids something they do not possess. Sometimes though, it's just that their parents don't care. I can't believe it, but there are parents in our school community who honestly don't care about their kids. It makes me sick to think about it.

So although it makes me feel old, I will continue to demonstrate my love for these kids by trying to keep an eye out for them.

I wonder - in years to come, when I've been to hoardes more dances, will I love the kids more than I love these ones? Will I worry more? or will I have learnt to distance myself a bit more?

1 comment:

Kate said...

Hi Nicole
I haven't taught for a few years now but I so relate to this. There are some kids I still think about and even worry about! It's a funny thing - the teacher/student relationship isn't it? You're not a parent but you spend so much time with them, investing in them. Sometimes more than the parents! Congrats on surviving Nathan's first year as a working mom. Quite a feat! xxx