Of bikes and impossibilities

Remember how, when you were little, older relatives (notice I didn't say 'old'? Sure, they seemed old to you then, but you're probably their age now and don't feel old - I know I don't - so I thought I'd be generous.) were forever commenting on how fast you were growing? The awful ones would always grab your cheeks, or pat you on the head. When you have kids around you, not necessarily your own, you begin to understand why. They really DO grow up fast.

Take Nellie. (Not literally. I will have to bring out the double barrel shotgun if you do.) Only 5 weeks ago she got a pedal-less bicycle (also known as a run bike or balance bike). In part this was a diversion from Nathan's homecoming. In part it was something we'd been planning to get her for ages to help her gross motor development (which is lacking... more on that some other time). 6 weeks ago she was only able to walk a few paces with it before falling over. Today, she amazed me with her improved balance.

"Mommy, look at meeee!' she called. I looked up. Racing away from me, down the road, Nellie was at first pushing her bike with alternate feet, then with both feet together, and then suddenly, she had both feet off the ground and was coasting down the road. She managed to keep her balance for several long seconds before the road came to an end in a neighbour's driveway and she had to turn back. Amazingly, she navigated the turn without stopping (although she did put her feet down again) and without falling off her bike and splitting her lip (as happened a few weeks back).

She's gone from being awkward on this big girls' bike and preferring her old black bike, to being completely confident and having lost interest in all her old bikes. Who could blame her? This bike is far more exciting! She feels like a big girl, not a little baby. She can go as fast as she can push herself and feel like she's flying, instead of being tied to the ground on her bulky black bike. Plus it has very cool pink handle bar grips! (Every little girl dreams about having pink handle bar grips.)

I can't begin to explain how proud I was of her in that moment. It didn't even occur to me then that she's passed another milestone. It never occurred to me then that this is just one more step on the road to independence. I was just so proud of her achieving something she'd found impossible only 5 weeks ago.

Of course, now, reflecting on it, it strikes me that the more independent she becomes, the further she will slip from me. That's the way it's meant to be - the purpose of parenting is to make yourself redundant. Yet I know instinctively that I will suffer horribly from empty nest syndrome. While I will cherish the time to do my own thing - read books, garden, walk, whatever - I know that when I get there, I would gladly give it all up to have my baby girl back again.

So instead, I'm going to work really, really hard at enjoying every moment like the one we shared today. Feel free to keep reminding about this. Right now I have the memory of a sieve.

Now, what was I doing a moment ago?