Some of you may be aware that we've been having a real issue with the tenant in the flat on our property. (The house we're renting has a little flat attached to it which is rented out separately.) It all started about a month ago, when the tenant asked us not to play in the back in the early mornings on weekends because it woke her up. We duly complied.
However, about a fortnight later, she then sent my mother (who is our landlord) a text to say that she is moving out ASAP because we are the rudest, least respectful, most insensitive, noisy neighbours she has ever had to live with; that Nellie's screaming and slamming doors at all hours of the morning is more than she can take. Needless to say, that came as rather a shock to us, because apart from asking us not to use the back garden, she has never before spoken to us about noise.
What I find particularly frustrating, is that before she applied for the lease, we did specifically ask her if she'd ever lived near small children, and was aware that they can make a lot of noise. She said she had, and it was fine.
In a series of emails, I tried to point out to her how we had either considered her needs, or had changed our lifestyle to try and stop making noise. e.g. She complained that we ran our washing machine at 5am and this woke her up. I pointed out that for the past 2 months we have employed a maid to do our washing so that it does not have to be done in the early morning. I also pointed out that as we both work full time, before we got the maid, the only time we got to do laundry was first thing in the morning, when we could hang it to dry during the day. It wasn't that we were deliberately trying to be nasty to her.
Since then, the tenant has made every effort to make my mother's life, and ours, a misery. She has continued to call us disrespectful and rude. She has sworn at my mother and has made a point of being as noisy as possible whenever she is in the flat. At one point, she refused to communicate with us directly, saying that she would only communicate with my mother. When my mother told her to grow up and act like an adult (way to go, Mom!), she replied by saying that my mother's comment on her acting abilities would be disregarded. (I kid you not!)
It has become obvious to me that this woman is one who likes to hold a grudge. She has got it into her head that we are the devil incarnate, and will not be persuaded from her point of view. We have tried to put things right and seek her forgiveness. There is nothing more we can do, so we have stopped letting it upset us or worry us. The only person being harmed by the situation now is her - she refuses to forgive us, insists on holding a grudge, and as a result her life is miserable.
In the meantime, we have had a problem with our neighbour, whose pond pump was making a racket. As the pump is right next to our window, when I've got up to go to the loo in the middle night, the noise has meant it has taken me AGES to fall asleep again. Rather than wait several months to complain (as our tenant did), after a few nights of this, I wrote a polite note to the neighbour which I popped in his box this morning. The pump was fixed during the day, and the neighbour left us his cell number, saying that we are to ring him at any time of the night if the pump is noisy again.
What lessons can be learnt here? Firstly, when there is a problem, do not let it stew. Do not bury your head in the sand because the problem will not go away. You will become increasingly angry about the problem, and it will eventually result in the break-down of relationships. DO talk to the person concerned: if they are aware of the problem, they can try to fix it. Secondly, do not hold grudges. The only person who will be harmed by it is you.
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