Should I stay or should I go?

In recent weeks, SA has made both national and international news for all the wrong reasons. Firstly there was the #rhodesmustfall campaign, followed by the xenophobic attacks. Both gave me cause for pause, and for the first time I seriously considered whether it is time to start looking for jobs elsewhere and to consider emigration.

The #rhodesmustfall campaign at UCT was about the fact that 20 years on, South Africa is still in the grip of Apartheid. Yes, the laws have changed, but transformation has been slow. For some, the rate of change has been too slow. There is still a lot of anger about the fact that whites still hold the majority of the country's wealth, and still appear to enjoy much more privilege. 

Throwing poo at statues (which quickly spread from just happening at UCT to taking place in various cities and at various statues) that are symbols of colonialism and racism and Apartheid seems to have catapulted the discussion about transformation into the forefront of discussions in civil society, government and institutional powers in a way that previous discoursive attempts have not. I disagree with the the decisions made about the statue, but I sympathize with the sentiments. If nothing else, this whole situation has really made me think about what it is like to be your average non-white South African living in this country.

Yet, then anger that I have felt directed towards me has been disconcerting to say the least. If one listens to the news (despite the fact that only the extremists and their doings make the news), then one could be forgiven for thinking that we are truly on the brink of becoming Zimbabwe, where whites are truly in physical danger. If one believes the news, then it is time to get out, while we still can.

At the same time, because of poverty, gross institutional inefficiencies and some ill-timed (and ill-conceived) words by King Goodwill Zweletini we have seen repeated xenophobic attacks in the Durban area against the immigrants from our neighboring countries and further afield. So much has been said about how the whites are to blame for everything that is historically wrong with this country, that it is sometimes hard to believe the capacity for black-on-black violence in this nation. Yet, the human heart is the same no matter the colour of one's skin, and its capacity for fear, anger and jumping to in conclusions (as my dad always says) is the same.

As I said, as I have pondered these two climatic events I have, for the first time, given very serious thought to emigrating. Why, you may ask? Because of fear. I looked to the possible future and was scared by what I could imagine.

Yet as I prayed about it, as I prayed into these situations and asked God for his guidance, he has very clearly been telling me to stay. A decision made in fear is never a good one. If I allow fear to rule my decision-making process, I will make wrong choices. If I allow God to rule my decision-making process I will make the right choices. I am reminded now, as I write this, of the saying that the safest place to be is in the centre of God's will. From the verses I have been reading as part of my daily devotionals, Gid has clearly been telling me to stay put and to trust in him alone - not to look to the circumstances around me, but only to look at him.

Does this mean we will be personally and physically safe? No. Does this mean my children will have an easy life? No. Yet neither of those things are good reasons to leave - not when God has other plans and I am a part of one other plans. I simply have to trust that God is working in ways I cannot see, and that his plans are plans to give me hope and a future, not plans to harm me or my children.

And of course, things are not as bad as they seem - the vast majority of this nation's people are not extremists. They are not blood-thirsty lunatics. The majority are average people trying to go about their lives in peace. Yet, these events have given us a fresh opportunity for discourse and dialogue, for a real chance to move towards transformation. Once again this nation has a real opportunity to shine the light of Christ for the world to see - if only we would grasp it!

Xenophobia

It happens the world over: xenophobia. We are all afraid of the unknown. We all fear what we do not understand. In a sense, xenophobia is perfectly logical, and perfectly understandable.

And yet...

While in London, I was amazed by the hate, not just antipathy, that many Britons felt for the African and Eastern European immigrants. Commonly expressed thoughts were that they stole jobs, were thieves and rapists, and were smelly and unhygienic.

Of course, there was some basis in fact for these thoughts. Many immigrants were so poor the only way they could afford to eat was if they stole something. Many of them were economic migrants, prepared to work for next to nothing, in appalling conditions, because it was more than they would be getting back home. So yes, they took jobs, but many Britons would rather be on the dole than work. Migrants don't have the option of going on the dole. Britons want to be famous and earn mega-bucks for doing nothing. Migrants don't have that option - they want to eat, and work, so they can support their families back home where unemployment is even worse than it is in the UK.

As an immigrant myself, I was also constantly amazed by the way that Britons could single out one culture from another in their xenophobia. I never heard similar sentiments expressed about Saffas, or Kiwis, or Auzzies, or Canadians. (And people say that South Africans are racist!)

Over the past few weeks, xenophobic attacks on Zimbabweans, Malawians, Zambians, Ugandans, Rwandans, Burundians, Mozambicans, and many other African illegal (and legal!) migrants who are living near Johannesburg on the East Rand, have been on the increase.

It blows me away that my fellow countrymen and women can with one breath decry the atrocities in Zimbabwe, and with the next perpetrate their own. It blows me away that people who should be experts at ubuntu can demonstrate anything but. It blows me away that a problem I considered to be purely a first-world problem exists on my own doorstep (as it were.... Jo'burg is a good 1400kms or 870 miles). It blows me away that in this rainbow nation of ours, where thousands have fought, shed blood and died for the right for us to treat each other with the respect due another human being, for the right to express our equality, my fellow countrymen and women would perpetrate such hate crimes.

Yet, I know that I am still one of the privileged in South Africa and that therefore I have very little understanding of what my fellow countrymen and women are going through. I have running water, TWO flush toilets, a brick house, a pool, a car and a job that pays me in a month what most of them earn in about half a year. I can afford private medical care and insurance, while they are not even able to afford to eat 3 meals a day. I can afford to clothe my child and send her to daycare where she is in a class of only 10, while their children have only the clothes on their back and are in daycare with a class of 50.

So I have to ask myself - if I were in their shoes, if Janel was starving and sick, what would I be prepared to do to attempt to safeguard a future for both of us? If I thought that my neighbour was the reason that we were starving, sick or unemployed, how far would I be prepared to go? Stealing? Lying? Fighting? Killing?

I'm not sure, but I can't pretend that I wouldn't do those things. The moment Janel was born and I held her in my arms I suddenly realised that not only was I capable of murder, but that if anyone threatened my child, I would do whatever was necessary to protect her, including murder if it came to that (although I pray I never, ever have to be in that place and make that decision). So I can understand how they might feel they've been pushed into a corner and this is the only way out.

And yet...

There are hundreds more in the same boat who have found a way to refrain from violence and hatred, who have found a way to live in (uneasy) peace with these migrants. These other people have found a way to control their own fears and to demonstrate concern for the migrants. Because I know, therefore, that it is possible to be in extreme poverty and still demonstrate Christ's love, I can only continue to condemn these attacks in the strongest possible terms. Every single person is worthy of respect and dignity.

This photo story is narrated by a newspaper photographer of his trip to the East Rand recently. These images remind me of the struggle photos of the '80s. Please God let us not return to that dark time in this nation, not after everything You have done in and for us!