A small scare

Coming back after a week's holiday was a shock to the system! Not least because everyone at work kept commenting on how suddenly my bump has enlarged. So here's a photo (32 weeks), just to confirm that actually, I'm not that large (although I feel ENORMOUS!). (I'm not smiling cos I'm in pain... see below.) As the measurements go, I'm right on target.

Baby is now head down, although not engaged, which explains why my ribs are getting the beating they are: it feels like she already has a diploma in kickboxing! Apparently weeks 30-32 are the ones when babies are most active, at around 470 movements a day. Hers all appear to take place between noon and midnight, and mostly into my ribs! Let's hope that once she's born she'll change her routine and be more active in the morning and less active at night.

I've started feeling some Braxton-Hicks contractions, which can be rather uncomfortable. At least I know that everything is working normally though and my uterus is exercising for the big day.

Drumroll please....... After much deliberation and thought we've finally decided on a name... 'Oi! You!'. Only joking! We're no closer to choosing a name for her actually. Although we had a brief spell of agreeing on one potential name, none of my current favourites even hit the page for Graeme. So it's back to the drawing board I guess. In worst case scenario, I guess 'Oi! You!' could work.... after all, some poor kid we know of has been given R2D2 as his middle name! And in other news today I discovered that some poor child of a celebrity star was given the first name of 'Moon Unit' - no kidding. (Can't remember which celebrity, though I think the surname was Zapper....)

Last week coincided with a rather bad piece of news: Graeme's gran died rather suddenly. She was 91, and in frail care following a serious fall, but had been making good recovery. We had hoped she would live till March, which is when his family was gathering back home for a wedding, and would have been the first time the baby would be introduced to them. It would have made a lovely photograph to have her holding her first great-grandchild. Sadly, 'twas not to be. Thankfully we know she's in a better place now, out of pain, and we know that she lived a full and happy life and had a 'good innings'. Right to the end she was other-centered and uncomplaining - such a challenging witness to all of us from the 'Now' and 'Me' generation!

Today we had a bit of a scare. I've been getting odd little pains at the top of my stomach, which I put down to the baby kicking. Last night, however, it became excruciating. Today was better, but still rather severe. So I took myself off to the local hospital (not the one I'm booked into) for a check-up. At first they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat, which was scary enough; when they did, she then decided to show off by going through an entire gym routine for over an hour! What a show-off, even at this tender age!!

Then they thought I was going into prem labour, at which point I thought I handled it all rather calmly and made a few jokes to cover my panic! When they did an internal exam though (and took a quick smear - OW!!!) they realised I wasn't. (Phew!) The docs then thought I must have fibroids (small benign tumours in the uterus) so did a quick ultrasound scan. They were wrong yet again.

So the good news is that all is well with baby. The bad news is that they haven't got the foggiest clue why I'm pain. I've been given a course of painkillers and told to keep an eye on it at home. It's just "one of those things", I was told. Thanks for that! That's really going to help me sleep better tonight. Still, it could be worse - I could have gone into labour. I'm grateful that the baby is fine, and at the end of the day, I don't really care about how much pain I'm in, as long as she continues to be okay. (I'm definitely turning into a mother!)

Hey! Did you read in the news today that wrapping up warm - especially noses, heads, hands and feet) really does stop you getting sick? (Well, it's not quite as straighforward as that, but the outcome is the same.) So my Mommy was right after all! I think I'll definitely become a fussy mother now.... "put your jersey on Love, I'm cold".

Nicole

30 weeks and counting...

The pic is a bit out-dated. It was taken in week 26, and I'm now in week 30, but it gives you an idea of the size I've become!

I read recently that as we near the end I need to keep an eye on how frequently the baby kicks - anything less than 10 times in 12 hours and we have a problem. Needless to say, no sooner did I start trying to count, than she went through a VERY quiet phase, and I started to panic quietly to myself. However, she soon picked up again and has been VERY active since.

At the moment she seems to be lying diagonally across my stomach - one end up under my ribs and the other pushing down into my pelvic area. Because she's getting so big now, when she turns you can actually see a wave across my belly - it's like watching a tsunami wave before it reaches the beach: you have no idea just from watching it of the power beneath the surface!! Most of the time now, when she's kicking, it's incredibly uncomfortable and frequently quite sore - especially when she kicks up into my ribs and lungs.

Again, because she's getting so large, I'm finding my lung space dramatically reduced, so I'm finding even little tasks take far more energy than previously simply because I can't get enough air. In terms of teaching, that means that I no longer have the lung capacity to yell at kids! I'm sure they appreciate it, but it is really handy to be able to yell when you need to - particularly in emergencies where they are in danger!

I've only got another 7 weeks left at work. It feels like an eternity, but I'm sure it will pass quickly enough. I'd love to start maternity leave sooner, but then that means I'd have less time at home after the birth, which is more important to me. So I guess I'll have to just slow down and pace myself to ensure I can make it at work till then!

Nicole

28 weeks

Another milestone reached - 28 weeks! It's amazing to think that if the baby were born today, she would be able to survive. It's incredible that all she will do from now on is mature and grow, but that she is already fully formed.

So of course, I've been thinking a lot about a prem birth, particularly as I've recently heard from a number of first-timers who have had one, usually with complications. And feeling suitably terrified of labour. I still don't want to think about it, and I'm not sure that I will want to think about it at all between now and then; not that I want to be uninformed or ill-prepared, but my imagination is active enough and thinking about the pain makes me feel rather ... I don't know... "uncomfortable" doesn't begin to cover it!

I guess I'm also trying to avoid thinking about what happens after the birth... from chronic tiredness to post-natal depression (which I know I'm going to have... and I'm not just being pessimistic here - I have both the temperament and the hormonal make-up that are common in women who get it), from having to get over the gag reflex and dealing with nappies to dealing with a screaming baby and split nipples; to the ultimate terror of having to be completely responsible for this little thing for the next umpteen years.

I know there are plenty of joys - bonding with her, first smiles, first everythings... but right now it's a bit hard thinking about those when I know there's a lot of really unpleasant stuff to deal with as well. I know I'm not ready for this - not in a million years - and it doesn't help that I know no-one ever is.

So that's my current psychological state. Physically I'm okay. She's still kicking ferociously, and doing millions of tumble rolls. At times it feels like someone is running a finger down the inside of my stomach, and squashing my solar plexus against my stomach muscles - very weird! She's been kicking my ribs and lungs quite a bit too, which has been really sore - to the extent that I have to get up and walk around a bit to calm her down.

Having said last time that my cramps had gone, it seems they've returned. The past few days I've had really bad foot cramps again, which neither heat, nor massage, nor walking, nor salt seems to have helped. My indigestion has also gone through the roof again the past few days.

I've been really trying to keep calm at work, and not yell or get angry (to keep my blood pressure down, amongst other things) and to work shorter days (rather than the usual 10 hour days I do). This past week was really good - I even managed to leave school at 4pm on 3 consecutive days! (That's an all-time record for me!) As a reward for this, I took myself shopping on Friday, and got a really nice preggy wear outfit for work - who says you have to look frumpy when you're pregnant?!?!

Graeme's had the cold I had, so neither of us has been sleeping well, with the result that I've been more tired than normal. We're both on the mend though, so hopefully sleep will return to normal soon, and with that, some more energy! I'll need it next week - my work load shoots through the roof (it's tests and projects week, so marking will be my primary, secondary and tertiary activity for the week!)

This weekend we spent some time getting the spare room more or less ready to become a nursery. As baby will sleep in our room for the first while (and my mom will be in the spare room), we just sorted and cleared to make space for a rocking chair and stuff. It felt odd - like planting bulbs for spring - you put them in the ground according to a how you imagine they will look when they flower, but you really won't know whether you've been successful or not until the spring. You put all this effort in, but you still only have bare ground to look at all through the winter. (Of course, it's all worth it for the sudden bloom, but it's a long time to wait!) So we're trying to imagine how all the baby stuff will fit in the room, and what needs doing in anticipation of that, but the room is still far from being a nursery, and won't be one properly till April some time... about the time my bulbs will be flowering!

Nicole

3rd trimester already!

I can hardly believe that I've already reached the 3rd trimester! 26 weeks! We're into the final stages now...

I feel even more huge than ever, although everyone says how tiny my bump is. Looking at some of the other women at the clinic today, I have to agree. I am tiny. Definitely in the round, rather than a protruding bump. The blessings of a first pregnancy and unstretched muscles I suppose - except that that means the baby pushes on your organs more....

Had a slight concern at my check-up today as it looks like I may have developed diabetes. It doesn't come as a surprise - I've always been on the high end of the normal bell curve where it overlaps with the diabetes bell curve, so I'd anticipated getting it during pregnancy. At this stage, they're not going to do anything about it, just monitor it at the next check-up. Less biscuits for me then....

I've also picked up a cold - nothing too serious - which means my heart rate is up even more, and I've been feeling rather faint. Still within normal rates, I'm assured, but definitely higher than normal for me. Even the short trip to the clinic today (by car!) was enough to lay me out for a bit afterwards.

Sensibly, and before anyone tells me to take care of myself, I've taken time off work, so hopefully this won't go down into my chest, which is when my other normal problems tend to arise. Given that the weather has turned, and winter is definitely on its way, I need to avoid getting worse at all costs, and I'm being good and taking care. Can you imagine trying to give birth with bronchitis or pneumonia??? Nah, thanks, I'd rather not!

On the up side, my leg cramps seem to have all but disappeared! I still get twinges, but nothing near as bad as previously. While my sleep is now less disturbed by them, I'm starting to find turning over in bed difficult and that because of my bump pulling my spine in odd directions, my back is getting sore at night.

I've taken to having extra pillows for support for the first part of the night. They're too much hassle to sleep with the whole night - making turning over a complete nightmare - but at least it seems to have stopped the backache.

The other up is that the Tissue Oil my mom sent me (South African miracle skin product!!) has stopped that horrible stretching sensation - both muscular and skin. I use it religiously every morning, except on weekends when my morning routine is different, and on those days I can really feel the difference! As yet, no stretch marks either.

Baby is doing well - kicking ferociously now, especially any time I raise my voice (usually to tell a kid off for not doing their homework...) or use my stomach muscles or change sitting/ sleeping position. All the measurements are normal, and the heart beat sounds normal. We're still no nearer to naming her, although *ara variations are all high on the list (Tara, Zara, Lara, Cara, etc.). We're in no hurry about this - when we see her I'm sure we'll figure out what suits her best.

OK - time to rest some more while I can.
Nicole

The long haul

Phew! Work has been manic! We've had 2 Open Evenings and an Open Morning, and that in between all the other more normal hassles of starting a new school year. As a result, I had to work last weekend to keep pace with myself. I calculated that over the past 2 weeks I've worked an average of 10 hour days, with one 13 hour day. Not easy at the best of times, but especially so when you're nearly 6 months pregnant!

However, on the up side, my new chair arrived at work. That has made the world of difference to me! It enables me to teach while sitting, and still allows me to be visible to the kids on their stools. If only all problems were as easy to solve.

My indigestion has been getting steadily worse, despite the antacids, and I'm now down to eating about half what I used to be able to at one sitting, which means I'm constantly feeling peckish and hungry. I'm not convinced that all this eating regularly isn't what's making my indigestion so bad (as my stomach is now constantly producing acids to cope with the constant eating), but everyone assures me that it isn't. I'm looking forward to a life without indigestion in a few months, please God!

My stomach is now really starting to get big, although everyone else tells me that it's still small and expresses wonder at how trim I seem. Maybe my clothes are just baggy enough to hide it, but I certainly feel huge.

My back has started to hurt, so I imagine my pelvis has started to shift, and this is where the real prayers begin. I fractured my spine when I was young, and didn't know it at the time. The upshot of that is that the sacrum (last few fused vertebrae) now points inwards instead of outwards (as it should). Ever since, it has given me lower back pain, especially when I'm tired/ stressed and/or the weather changes. My GP assures me it shouldn't be a problem in labour and I'll be able to give birth naturally, but I'm still not convinced it won't cause me a heck of a lot of pain never the less. So, as my back pain returns, I'm praying this won't add to it.

While things at work seem to be calming down somewhat as everyone settles into the routine again, I'm left pondering the long haul to Christmas. On the one hand, I'm pleased it's several months away - I will need that time to do some more reading and prepare myself for motherhood (can you ever really be prepared for something so life-changing???) - and so Christmas seems but a breath away. On the other hand, I'm already tired of being large and uncomfortable and tired, and want it all over with as quickly as possible - and so Christmas seems a life-time away.

I'm excited about meeting this new individual and I want to get started on this new journey, and I want to do it now. Yet, I feel apprehensive about what exactly the future holds for Graeme and I, and I want to put off the change for as long as possible, keep things the same for as long as possible.

So ultimately I feel I'm just marking time - moving inexorably towards a destiny over which I have no control, but which I know will forever change my paradigm - and I HATE that (both the marking time thing, and the feeling of powerlessness thing). I can't bear the thought of feeling like this for another 3 months. I want to enjoy this pregnancy, not be constantly fretting about how much longer there is to go.

I guess that's one of the reasons I want to work for as long as possible - give myself something else to think about and focus on. Sitting around being philosophical only results in too much navel gazing (which leads to this sort of morbid introspection and depression) and not enough engaging with (and truly living!) life - SO, I'm off to do some baking now - engage myself in a useful leisure activity while I still can. A bit of comfort food, especially of my own creation, never went amiss!

Nicole

Back to work

Phew! I managed to survive the first week back at work. The kids weren't too bad, although some of the girls did exclaim loudly when they saw how my stomach had grown! I've been inundated with questions about the sex of the baby, mainly from the girls, but decided that I'd keep them guessing for a while.

I've had to ask for a new chair as I can't teach standing up, I've discovered. By the end of the day, if I do, my stomach is really tender and all I can do for the rest of the day is lie with my feet up. So, I'm getting a new one that can rise up to about 80cm, which should be high enough to sit on and teach. Of course, once the order is placed, it will take another 2 weeks before it arrives. I'm not sure what I'm going to do in the interim, but I will definitely have to ask my TA's to do more running around in the class, as well as setting more individual work from laptops or textbooks, rather than practicals, so that I can get a chance to sit down during lessons.

The other complication this week was that I've developed cystitis. Fortunately, because I'd had it before, I caught it early on and put myself onto a fluids regime that immediately improved it. I also went to see the doc, who's put me on antibiotics. Joy. Actually, there's an embarrassing story to go with that....

I was about 15 minutes late for the GP appointment and our surgery has a rule that if you're more than 10 mins late you have to re-book your appointment. I was already stressed from teaching that day, and then even more stressed by being late. When I got there I told the receptionist that I'd be happy to wait till 6pm but that I absolutely had to see the GP that day, because I was pregnant, blah, blah, blah... 10 minutes later, I'm in with the doc. We get sorted, he gives me the 'scrip', which includes a 'scrip' for antacid (BOY! has my indigestion been bad of late!!).

Off I go to the chemist, get my stuff, and the woman behind the counter asks if I want a bag. No, says me, because that adds to waste and pollution, and it's only 2 items and I have 2 hands. Of course, I say this politely! I get in the car, drive home, get out of the car, and promptly drop the antacid bottle, which is glass, and it shatters all over the pavement.

So, back on the phone to the surgery - I need another 'scrip' for the antacid. Why? I've dropped the bottle and it shattered. OK - come back before we close. Off I go, about an hour later to get the 'scrip'. As I walk in, the receptionist takes one look at me and says, in a nice loud voice, so everyone in reception can hear, 'you're the woman who was late for her appointment and then dropped the antacid bottle', and laughs. Yes, I smile sheepishly, that would be me. Sorry, she says, your 'scrip' still isn't ready, you're going to have to wait. So I sit and wait. About 15 mins later, I get my 'scrip'.

Back to the chemist - where the pharmacist looks at the 'scrip', looks at me, and says - 'But I just gave you one!' Yes, says me, feeling even smaller, but I dropped it and it broke! He laughs, uproariously, knowing that I'd refused a bag the last time, hands the bottle to another woman behind the counter and says - 'Give that woman a bag, otherwise she'll drop it again!'

Sigh! At least I got it home in one piece that time....

The happy ending to this story is that I'm feeling better all round.

But before you think all is rosy in the garden of this pregnancy... I've now got leg cramps at night, which no-one seems to mention, but is apparently very common. (Why do you always hear women talk about how wonderful pregnancy is once you get past the morning sickness, when my experience has been that it's full of really annoying aches, pains and complications?) Last night I woke up with such bad cramps I cried, and my tolerance level for that type of pain is not low! I had cramps on both sides of the same leg, and down into my foot, so couldn't stretch either cramp out properly. Now, a good 8 hours later, my calf muscle is still aching.

So - in addition to my fluids regime, my course of antibiotics and my antacid regime, I'm now putting myself on a Calcium, Vit D, Magnesium and Sodium regime to try to alleviate THAT problem.

Still, I suppose I shouldn't complain - when I see the images of the people in New Orleans, when I think about those still affected by the tsunami, when I think of the genocide still being perpetrated in Burundi and Rwanda and Sudan, when I think of the atrocities being committed in Zimbabwe, what's a little cramp, eh? Kind of puts it all into perspective, doesn't it? I have a wonderful husband, a lovely home, a good job, food on the table, clothes in the cupboard, my family and friends are healthy, my baby is growing well and I can worship in freedom - I'm richly blessed by God! I really shouldn't complain.

Nicole

Second scan

We had the second scan yesterday morning, and all looks hale and hearty with the bump.

From what we couldn't see, we deduce that bump is in fact a bumplette, which came as something of a surprise to us both. I guess we'd been gearing ourselves up for a serious discussion if it was a boy, and hadn't really thought about the fact that it might be a girl. Never the less, we are both very pleased - girls are supposed to be easier to raise, right???

All fingers and toes are accounted for, all 4 chambers of the heart were working beautifully (although atria and ventricles working in tandem at this stage, rather than independently...), and all other measurements are slap bang on average - which is a good sign. Bumplette was very active (thanks to my sister-in-law's tip about drinking coke before the scan!) and caused the sonographer endless hassle in trying to get her measurements. Just as she was ready to measure, bumplette would move again. Still, it was fantastic seeing her moving around, and the measurements were all done in the end, so no harm done I figure!

Now the real debate over a name begins. We seem to be gravitating towards a double-barrel surname (which is a comprise for both of us), but which way round still hasn't been 100% finalised. We have a good idea, but the I think the final decision will rest on the first name we choose, so that it flows off the tongue as nicely as we can get it (which isn't saying much - a double barrel surname like this one will never flow easily!!).

I'm just thrilled that at this stage of the game, all is well and normal! Anything else on top is just a bonus.

Nicole